Search found 16 matches

by LingDar
March 5th, 2016, 8:54 pm
Forum: Guitar Noise Songwriting Club
Topic: Mind Of Jasmine
Replies: 0
Views: 2188

Mind Of Jasmine

Mind of Jasmine posted to YouTube. Our (Asylum of Truth) first song to go all the way through recording, mixing, and mastering. https://youtu.be/FRT_ULtoo78 For written lyrics, music notation, and bio on Jasmine go to http://asylumoftruth.com has review survey at http://www.asylumoftruth.com/mind-of...
by LingDar
March 5th, 2016, 8:51 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?
Replies: 3
Views: 2259

Re: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

Thanks. I was thinking it may need to be broken up. A bridge is probably in order as I think I will do more with this song. I'm working on making song around an asylum. And this was inspired by a patient my mother had who ate(regular food) uncontrollably and Hannover lector in a fanfic. If you go to...
by LingDar
March 3rd, 2016, 4:15 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W17 - One Eye on the Future
Replies: 2
Views: 1946

Re: Y14W17 - One Eye on the Future

Pretty. I like the lyrics. The only criticism is that the music sounds very familiar. I don't feel like I am listening to something new. I like be the part where the music drops out and you sing occopela makes the song 5 times better.
by LingDar
February 26th, 2016, 11:07 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Year 14 Week 14 Downtime Blues MP3 Added
Replies: 7
Views: 2808

Re: Year 14 Week 14 Downtime Blues MP3 Added

Overall I liked it. I think the two interludes for instrumentation need to be different from the rest give it a time to really break up the song as othewise it's too repetitive and generic. Really the only criticism besides that annoying buzz.
by LingDar
February 26th, 2016, 4:26 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?
Replies: 3
Views: 2259

Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

I made a YouTube video of making the song. Please check it out. http://youtu.be/e0wr98oEcJI The words are as follows Can be seen on my new website http://asylumoftruth.weebly.com/only-one-eye.html Lyrics Only one eye on the table Where is my other damn eye I ordered two blue eyes Steamed with hints ...
by LingDar
February 6th, 2016, 11:04 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W13 If...Please
Replies: 4
Views: 2346

Re: Y14W13 If...Please

Thanks for reviewing. I see the last line doesn't work do great in this version. I worked better in the first version, but I messed up and had too many measures for the music. I think I will change it to "please just please" or "please". As for the changeing for a girl, this is about God not a girl....
by LingDar
February 3rd, 2016, 4:39 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W13 - If I Had a Year
Replies: 6
Views: 2588

Re: Y14W13 - If I Had a Year

I like, it is very beautiful and moving. My first thought is someone with a terminal illness. The only part I don't like is the last two lines "no matter how much I rehearse I just can't seem to play this verse". Compared to the rest of throng it seems a trivial problem. I get it could be an analogy...
by LingDar
January 31st, 2016, 8:31 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W13 If...Please
Replies: 4
Views: 2346

Y14W13 If...Please

So, I decided that I would do minor pentatonic shapes 1 and 2. To practice them. The first 3 lines the music is going from low to high on shape 1 and the last three going down in shape 2 Here are the words I'll work on recording later. I had a horribly hard time coming up with words. If... Please If...
by LingDar
January 19th, 2016, 4:04 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14_W12 I'm Awaitin'
Replies: 0
Views: 1671

Y14_W12 I'm Awaitin'

This is my first blues song so I had to learn how to do the 12 bar blues. I'm not sure how much I like the restriction of the format. The set format is both useful but also somewhat confining. This is also my first song where I did not write out a melody and just used the rhythm and sang over it how...
by LingDar
January 18th, 2016, 6:32 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Year 14 Week12 Sometimes You Gotta Shout
Replies: 2
Views: 1837

Re: Year 14 Week12 Sometimes You Gotta Shout

I loved listening to it, except that recording buzz.
The only issue that I came up with is that the verse about the girl feels like an abrupt thing as the rest wasn't about her.
Also, "She has nothing to say?" really very surprising. :lol:

Thanks for the song.
by LingDar
January 18th, 2016, 5:33 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W11_Crime Without Passion
Replies: 0
Views: 1639

Y14W11_Crime Without Passion

Sorry for being late. here is a Soundcloud link. https://soundcloud.com/asylum-of-truth/crimewithoutpassion Picture on Soundcloud is melody music. With me singing the words and MusicScore playing the rhythm and lead guitar, mixed in garageband. here are the words It's all old hat now Stealing used t...
by LingDar
January 4th, 2016, 8:23 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14_W10 - Digital Ghost
Replies: 1
Views: 3201

Y14_W10 - Digital Ghost

Here is my song for this week. Google drive share links PDF music notation of the Melody with words - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1PGsPbdfbXTWVZzcFlYY0NlQkU/view?usp=sharing mp4 of me playing and singing assembled in garageband. I am not a great singer or player. https://drive.google.com/file/...
by LingDar
January 4th, 2016, 12:42 pm
Forum: Guitar Noise Songwriting Club
Topic: Please help with my song Lyrics
Replies: 2
Views: 5095

Re: Please help with my song Lyrics

I like the overall thyme and flow. There are a few snags. Mostly you being too passive voice and not active enough. For example You have "but I can't 'cause I know no other way" It would most likely be better as "I can't; I know no other way" see how that's more direct? Try rewriting it taking out m...
by LingDar
January 4th, 2016, 12:23 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14W9 - Saving Wren
Replies: 3
Views: 2200

Re: Y14W9 - Saving Wren

Thanks for the feedback. I haven't really intended to work that much more on this as it is practice but I may pick it up later. Also I sing in the baritone range so you can take the melody down by octaves when singing. And still have lead guitar play at higher octaves. I'm just started guitar from l...
by LingDar
January 4th, 2016, 12:17 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You
Replies: 5
Views: 3967

Re: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You

As the others have said the specific words are better. What sort of music does this go to? I like the "All things living the whole world round" but I don't like the word "managed." I get that it goes well with the imagine for sound purposes but I feel the meaning is too corporate/strict/??? to go we...