Search found 787 matches

by Hobson
November 11th, 2015, 9:28 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Sun Song Yr 14 Week 1 - Where Did We Go Wrong
Replies: 3
Views: 2294

Re: Sun Song Yr 14 Week 1 - Where Did We Go Wrong

Some good lines here, but as a whole, it feels disconnected. I am not at all sure who the singer is addressing. My suggestion, for what it's worth, is that you try to be a bit more specific. As written, only the first line of the song has some concrete details. In verse 2, the singer thinks that the...
by Hobson
November 5th, 2015, 7:20 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W52 I Never Got to Say Good-Bye
Replies: 5
Views: 2226

Re: Y13W52 I Never Got to Say Good-Bye

John, thanks for taking the time to comment. The song was inspired by several friends who have found themselves in this situation. My mother-in-law, who passed away years ago, also had Alzheimer's that was much more advanced.
by Hobson
October 31st, 2015, 2:14 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W52 I Never Got to Say Good-Bye
Replies: 5
Views: 2226

Y13W52 I Never Got to Say Good-Bye

Hey, I finally got one "finished." It has been a long time. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=13243477 verse I miss the pleasure of routines Like coffee in the morning. You're set off by the smallest things. It happens without warning. chorus I never got to say g...
by Hobson
October 27th, 2015, 8:57 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W52 - Life's Not Forever
Replies: 4
Views: 1549

Re: Y13W52 - Life's Not Forever

A very nice song. There are a couple of lines where the meaning seems vague to me. "I’m with you for always though forever is never more" I think that you're saying that the couple thought they had forever. Now they obviously dont. What do you think of this slight change? "I’m with you always though...
by Hobson
October 4th, 2015, 4:03 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W48 Moon‏ Over Cat Sanova
Replies: 8
Views: 2856

Re: Y13W48 Moon‏ Over Cat Sanova

James, I haven't posted anything myself lately. Life has gotten in the way. I have learned a lot from your critiques and have been amazed that you are able to come up with something that ranges from pretty darn good to excellent every week. Hope to see you around here now and then. Congratulations o...
by Hobson
June 26th, 2015, 6:05 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: 13/24 Things My Father Taught Me
Replies: 2
Views: 1236

Re: 13/24 Things My Father Taught Me

John, that's a great idea for a song and a good solid chorus. I hope you get time to finish this.

I can imagine using 3 or 4 of those lessons as the topics for your verses and telling short stories in wich each one applies.
by Hobson
June 23rd, 2015, 4:39 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W34 - On Father's Day
Replies: 2
Views: 1179

Re: Y13W34 - On Father's Day

John, thanks. You're absolutely right. Having so many repetitions of the chorus would make for a long and boring song. I didn't realize how many verses I had.

Yes, it does call for a minor key. And maybe some diminished chords.
by Hobson
June 22nd, 2015, 3:35 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W33 Never Did Like That Much
Replies: 4
Views: 1544

Re: Y13W33 Never Did Like That Much

James, thanks for the clarification. When I first read this, I thought that the first two verses referred to a minister or a social worker. I did get the red light reference, but I still don't understand "welcomed the wise." So now I"m also confused about "I could fly."
by Hobson
June 22nd, 2015, 3:27 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W34 - On Father's Day
Replies: 2
Views: 1179

Y13W34 - On Father's Day

This song came out dark. I'm going to have to figure out some music to match the mood. verse: On Father's Day I buy a card. Picking out a gift is hard. A gift for someone who is always sad. I don't know how to help you, Dad. chorus: Birth fathers, stepfathers, Those who adopted. Father figures, Sain...
by Hobson
June 22nd, 2015, 6:27 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W24 - Missed Connections - revised
Replies: 4
Views: 1569

Re: Y13W24 - Missed Connections - revised

When I wrote the original version of this song, I felt that the music didn't really fit the mood of the lyrics. I then used the music on another song, "The Last Time You Lied to Me"(Y13W28). Later I had a chord progression and a partial tune running around in my head. I decided to try using that for...
by Hobson
June 21st, 2015, 8:01 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W33 Never Did Like That Much
Replies: 4
Views: 1544

Re: Y13W33 Never Did Like That Much

James, I tried, but this is too cryptic for me. I haven't figured out who the singer is.
by Hobson
June 21st, 2015, 6:37 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W33 - I Never Liked to Drive That Much
Replies: 1
Views: 1000

Y13W33 - I Never Liked to Drive That Much

I wrote this mainly while camping and did a hurried recording when I got back. It's about slowing down and enjoying what's happening around us, which is what I was doing. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=13150728 verse: We don't always need to be in a hurry. All...
by Hobson
June 8th, 2015, 9:07 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: New guy.. First submission
Replies: 5
Views: 1564

Re: New guy.. First submission

Overall a good job. Just a couple of suggestions. This is personal opinion, so take it for what it's worth. The first two lines of the first verse imply that the singer's girlfriend just left a day ago. I think that the idea of having trouble staying off drugs would be stronger if it had been a litt...
by Hobson
June 7th, 2015, 2:04 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W32 Lifesavers and Lollipops
Replies: 4
Views: 1455

Re: Y13W32 Lifesavers and Lollipops

James, I just had another thought as I was driving home from the grocery store. (Why am I thinking about your song instead of my next one?)

The lollipop could be:

Wrapped up in herself and a low cut dress.
by Hobson
June 7th, 2015, 11:49 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W32 Lifesavers and Lollipops
Replies: 4
Views: 1455

Re: Y13W32 Lifesavers and Lollipops

Good development of the idea. Think about having two separate verses, one about lifesavers and the other about lollipops, instead of combining them in verse 2. Also, how about "wrapped in sweat pants" or "packaged in sweat pants" instead of dressed in sweatpants?