Lyrical help

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Kingpinjones
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Lyrical help

Post by Kingpinjones » December 28th, 2012, 2:06 am

Hello, i would love to get lyrics down, i can do a nice riff, a nice lick, and all that jazz. Now i can write some nice poetry and i hear line-in-verse type poetry makes for great lyrics and that only makes sense. Here's my only issue: i write paragraphs of prose, it's good, oh hell yeah it's good, (gotta toot my own horn or no one else would lol) but it's missing the right structure to turn it to music. There's no particular count, no real beat, near no repetition to it and i don't like writing line-in-verse, i have trouble with it. Now perhaps there's someone out there willing to look over a piece of my prose and either "convert" it to lyrics or give me some pointers on how to do it myself?
So you're telling me i can sing AND play guitar at the same time.....? Since when?

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Vic Lewis VL
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Re: Lyrical help

Post by Vic Lewis VL » January 1st, 2013, 11:10 am

Well - why not? Post some of your lyrics, let's see if between us - there are a few brain cells extant here, I know 'cos I've got at least two - we can't give you some informed and friendly criticism. Good luck with your writing!

:D :D :D

Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)

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Kingpinjones
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Re: Lyrical help

Post by Kingpinjones » January 6th, 2013, 5:57 pm

we'll start with a shorter one.

"Don't the demons, dont they want to let me go, no they want to hide deep inside and pull the strings to tear me apart and darken my heart i say its pain they swear its art. exagerate thet wait fuelling the hate that is my fate to forever wait. chain me down, you can't be heard but all i want is just your word, a semblance of effection not inspiring infection but a sense of direction a loving correction fulfilling connection. alas i sit bone dry about to die so forever cry when you lose I, you may die or so you lie. what would you be without me other than fine? what would i do without you other than die? such uneven ground with a winner found and a loser bound. what could i do to fix this hue, distorted view of flawless you.'
So you're telling me i can sing AND play guitar at the same time.....? Since when?

jamestoffee
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Re: Lyrical help

Post by jamestoffee » January 8th, 2013, 5:12 am

Here are some ideas. Take or leave what you want.

Step 1 Brainstorm – which you did

Step 2 find some matching rhymes and get a sense of verse and chorus material

Rough Draft 1
Don't the demons, dont they want to let me go,
no they want to hide deep inside
and pull the strings to tear me apart
and darken my heart
i say its pain they swear its art.


exagerate thet wait fuelling the hate
that is my fate to forever wait.
chain me down, you can't be heard
but all i want is just your word,
a semblance of effection not inspiring infection
but a sense of direction; a loving correction
fulfilling connection.

alas i sit bone dry about to die so forever cry
when you lose I, you may die or so you lie.
What would you be without me other than fine?
what would i do without you other than die?
such uneven ground with a winner found and a loser bound.
what could i do to fix this hue, distorted view of flawless you.'

Step 3 Write the message of the song in one sentence.

Example
Message: Demons in me are destroying my life.

Step 4 Find a hook/chorus

Example
Pre-chorus
i swear in pain they swear its art.
They pull my strings; they tear me apart
Chorus
It’s the symphony of Hell
Symphony of Hell
Symphony of Hell
Symphony of Hell
Symphony of Hell

Step 5 Write the verses

Be sure to use sensory images and possible use the metaphor of the singer as an stringed instrument (guitar, violin etc).

Ask and answer questions of the singer’s story.

Where is he? Who is he singing to? How did he get in the situation? What is his motivation for the song? Is he asking for help from God or man…..or is he asking the demons to stop?
What is the demons’ response?

Step 6 Write a Bridge (if appropriate)
How would his life be different if he wasn’t suffering? What would he be doing? Helping others? Living for pleasure?

Possible song structure:

Intro- Verse- prechorus- Chorus- Verse- prechorus- Chorus- Bridge or Solo- Chorus

I’ll turn it back to you to have a go at filling in the music and lyric ideas.

jason brann

Re: Lyrical help

Post by jason brann » January 20th, 2013, 5:37 pm

just suck it up and write a song. it might not be any good, but it's a skill you can develop, just like playing the guitar is. what you wrote had a decent idea with the demons, but it was precious and unreadable. a good song doesn't try to fool the listener, just tell a story. when robert johnson wrote, "i followed her to the station with a suitcase in her hand", that tells a complex story of two people in just one line. it's not pretentious, but it is immortal.

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