Y8week1 Born to Grumble (plus 1)

[straycat.]

Fun assignment, it was In the end it came down to two pieces... even singable. Problem is that I felt very uninspired musically, as usual, so I just took some simple chords and a very simple way of strumming them and did a very poor demo of "Born to Grumble" (here).. the second piece curiously also works on the melody with slight alterations and a little picking, but I haven't posted that mp3 because it was boring
So, all this ado just to say that they are singable

Born to Grumble

I was born to grumble
I mutter and I mumble

Languages I learned
With no intention to converse
Languages I learned
So that you won’t understand

I was born to grumble
I mutter and I mumble

In the Hundred Acre Wood
My favourite wasn’t Tigger or Pooh
It was Eeyore I admired

I was born to grumble
I was born to grumble

With my crooked back
And my intolerance
For neighbours and pedestrians sharing their smoke
And the builders making their holes in the street
On a Saturday morning
After I had finally fallen asleep

Oh, I was born to grumble
I mutter and I mumble

When the car drivers try to kiss my a.ss
When the cyclist in front won’t speed up yet
When elderly ladies cross the sreet
To the beat of the red light, while I wait for the green,
Guess what I do
I grumble
I swear under my breath first in Swedish then in Finnish then in Japanese

Oh, I was born to grumble


My Mother’s Atlas

i was born with my heart in my hand
it’s a rare but rarely lethal mutation,
the doctor said to my sobbing mum
while the snow fell and melted on the windowsill

and it grew
and i grew
and i flew up high

well, i flew for a year
and i fell for two
till i thought you can’t be further down

i was not born with a waterhead (is the term "waterhead" refering to hydrocephaly, as it does in German, or did the dictionary fool me?)
like the x-ray made the doc predict
but still i never could be
my mother’s atlas like she dreamt i’d be
for i had another defect

i met a boy who was born with scissors for hands
and i know it’s common in this city but my heart
glowed at his sight

and from then on i always had
snugly warm feet and a dead cold hand
as the puddle in which i stood
grew into a lake
and one day my boy went to Dresden without looking back

i’ve been wearing gloves ever since but though
i was bound to fall
deeper than you or her
i have also flown way up there
and the view almost made up for the fall
so i’ll hold my tongue now, only open my mouth
to thank my mum for knitting me another pair of gloves to wear
all through the year

well, i guess my epitaph’s gonna say
she was born with her heart in her hand

Cheers,
straycat.

[jamestoffee]

Hi Straycat,

Good starts Born to grumble sounds a bit like one of my favorite bands "Lush". Nice examples of grumbles.

Suggestion: consider more pitch variety in the melody line to keep it interesting.

My Mother's Atlas reads like it can be a song for the Marvel X-Men superhero called "Rogue"....or maybe you have a new mutant on your hands to create for Marvel or the Heroes show.

I like this line "while the snow fell and melted on the windowsill" b/c it highlights one of your strengths and my weaknesses to be sensitive of the singer's surroundings. You do it quite well in most of your lyrics. I can still picture a rude smoker in the apartment complex hall and orange tea late at night from your previous lyrics. It makes the imagery very concrete and tangible. It's an area I would like to try to develop more in my songs.

Thanks for sharing.

James

[Celt]

Straycat

Grumble On! Good Job!

I like you MP3 but while listening I thought this would
make a good Punk song. Loud and Brash

I like the Eeyore line. I always found him a interesting
character. Not that many Clinically Depressed children's
characters.



John

[Christiaan]

I'm glad you say you can sing them, I wouldn't have a clue how to sing this Fortunately you've added an MP3!

I like the chord you play everytime after you sing "to grumble" / "I mumble". In the end it almost takes over the meaning of the words grumbling/mumbling, if you know what I mean.
On paper it seems to have little structure, but after hearing the recording it makes sense. It would take out the chorus between verse 1 and 3 though, in my opinion it's a little too much chorus.

I find it difficult to comment on the words, they're kind of different to what I'm used to. The only thing I can suggest is to make it more clear what you're writing about. For instance in the second I don't understand how her mother could want her to be an atlas.

[straycat.]

Hi

Suggestion: consider more pitch variety in the melody line to keep it interesting.

James, in theory, I think I know what you mean but, in practice, it's like picking chords to play... confuses me and I get stuck half-way and ususally end up repeating myself Anyhow, good piece of advice, this. Am going to work on that.
Beautiful that you still see the orange tea picture, thank you for telling me

A punk song, John? Aw, would definitely be curious to hear that! (trying to imagine Eeyore singing it then.. )

Thank you Christiaan Yay for the Em chord
As for the atlas in the second piece.. I wondered if it would make sense to someone else (seems like it does to James in any case ) ... I had two basic meanings in mind.. first, the mythical titan Atlas who had to bear the sky (e.g. daughter carrying the weight of her mother's world, helping her) and, second, the literal atlas with maps of the world inside it (e.g. for a mother who, in her time, never had the chance to travel and see the world, a daughter who has these options could become an atlas, a map of the world.. second-hand experience, but still).

Thanks everyone for your comments!
Cheers,
straycat.

P.S.: Been singing "Born to Grumble" last night with a friend and it was great fun (but then again we were in a silly mood anyhow)

[Vic Lewis VL]

My Mother's Atlas - I didn't get the double meaning, but strangely enough the first thing I thought of was Atlas with the world on his shoulders....the obvious "book of maps" meaning went right by me, or over my head. I guess I'm getting used to thinking in the abstract when I read your songs!

Born To Grumble - like it, although I'm beginning to think you're VERY anti-smoking which is going to lose you points from me every time....just joking! John's idea has some merit, IMO, I reckon it'd make a GREAT punk song!

Keep 'em coming!



Vic

[straycat.]

Hi Vic

I'm beginning to think you're VERY anti-smoking which is going to lose you points from me every time....just joking!

Well well... let's not read this as too autobiographical Ah well, I do dislike the smell... however, I also think smoking can have something very poetic about it (at least in a song, a film, a picture or somewhere far enough away from my nose )

Anyone gonna try the punk song?

Anyhow, just wanted to let you know I re-recorded Born to Grumble, I think it's a tad better now even though I have a cold and it's still as tedious melody-wise as before

Cheers,
straycat.