Y12W49 Loud Enough?

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.
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jamestoffee
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Posts: 2882
Joined: November 22nd, 2008, 4:53 am

Y12W49 Loud Enough?

Post by jamestoffee » October 11th, 2014, 2:28 am

Y12W49 Loud Enough?

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12939709

=====Revised Version=====

When I was a young boy I found a rubber band
I liked the rubber band sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I fell in love when she appeared and her name was Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it isn’t loud enough for me

I found a ukulele and I gave up my rubber band
I liked the ukulele sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that ukulele; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it isn’t loud enough for me

I found a dulcimer and laid out my dulcimer plan
I liked the dulcimer sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that dulcimer; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it isn’t loud enough for me

I laid my eyes on a Spanish guitar it came from a foreign land
I liked the romantic sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that Spanish guitar; I played for Melody
She liked the way I plucked those strings
But it isn’t loud enough for me

I tried my luck with a folk guitar and I joined a folksy band
I liked the folksy sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that folk guitar; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you strum those chords
But it isn’t loud enough for me

I sold my soul for rock n’ roll and joined a rock n’ roll band
I liked the rockin’ sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that rock guitar; I played for Melody
I never heard the door slam when she walked out on me




=====Original Version=====
When I was a young boy I found a rubber band
I liked the rubber band sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I fell in love when she appeared and her name was Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it wasn’t loud enough for me

I found a ukulele and I gave up my rubber band
I liked the ukulele sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that ukulele; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it wasn’t loud enough for me

I found a dulcimer and laid out my dulcimer plan
I liked the dulcimer sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that dulcimer; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you play that thing
But it wasn’t loud enough for me

I laid my eyes on a Spanish guitar it came from a foreign land
I liked the romantic sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that Spanish guitar; I played for Melody
She liked the way I plucked those strings
But it wasn’t loud enough for me

I tried my luck with a folk guitar and I joined a folksy band
I liked the folksy sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that folk guitar; I played for Melody
She said I like the way you strum those chords
But it wasn’t loud enough for me

I sold my soul for rock n’ roll and joined a rock n’ roll band
I liked the rockin’ sound it made when I slapped it with my hand
I played that rock guitar; I played for Melody
I never heard the door slam when she walked out on me
Last edited by jamestoffee on October 13th, 2014, 5:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Hobson
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Posts: 794
Joined: May 15th, 2009, 10:46 am
Location: Near Tombstone, Arizona, USA

Re: Y12W49 Loud Enough?

Post by Hobson » October 12th, 2014, 11:23 am

A clever idea and well done.

I'm not sure what you're using for the rubber band sound, but the discordance is very off putting to me. Same for the uke, which I think is the same instrument.

It would be more effective if instead of this:

But it wasn’t loud enough for me

You used this:

But it isn’t loud enough for me
Renee

jamestoffee
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Posts: 2882
Joined: November 22nd, 2008, 4:53 am

Re: Y12W49 Loud Enough?

Post by jamestoffee » October 13th, 2014, 5:08 am

Hi Rene,
Hobson wrote:I'm not sure what you're using for the rubber band sound
It's a rubberband with pitch shift
Hobson wrote:the discordance is very off putting to me. Same for the uke,
I tried to fix it a bit.
Hobson wrote:It would be more effective if instead of this:
But it wasn’t loud enough for me
I was thinking the singer was saying it wasn't loud enough, but it's ok to think the muse/Melody was saying not loud enough.....

......so ***poof changes made*** :mrgreen:

Thanks for the listen and post.

James

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Hobson
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Posts: 794
Joined: May 15th, 2009, 10:46 am
Location: Near Tombstone, Arizona, USA

Re: Y12W49 Loud Enough?

Post by Hobson » October 14th, 2014, 9:00 am

James, yes my reading (and listening) was that Melody was saying that it wasn't loud enough for her. So I was having trouble with the last line of the song. I wondered why she walked out. I thought your message was that the singer did everything for her and it still wasn't enough.

The rubber band in the new version is much more on pitch and easier to listen too. Maybe we've found a good use for Autotune. :lol:
Renee

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