Y13W1

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.
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jgpatton
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: November 10th, 2014, 11:26 am

Y13W1

Post by jgpatton » November 10th, 2014, 11:53 am

Hello all, this is my first attempt to write a song. I hope I can keep up with Y13, but we'll see. I have know way of recording things just yet, just me and my phone and a guitar. I see a lot of people use soundclick.com so I will look into that. Any other methods of posting recordings here? Since this is my first attempt I will just write what I have so far (not even a complete verse yet) in hopes to get some help. Writing is a late in life hobby I'd like to explore.

We didn't know but we knew,
this love affair wouldn't last past noon.
You told me you'd keep me warm
on those cold nights, forever.
I told you I'd never look away
from those blue eyes, ever.

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Hobson
Senior Member
Posts: 794
Joined: May 15th, 2009, 10:46 am
Location: Near Tombstone, Arizona, USA

Re: Y13W1

Post by Hobson » November 11th, 2014, 1:01 pm

Welcome and I hope you keep writing.

Not a bad start, but really not a lot to go on. Right now it needs a "hook," something that will grab the listener. If there's no hook in the lyrics, it could be in the music.

Do you have an outline or an idea of where the story is going? That can help in coming up with more verses. For instance, why won't their love last? Do they end up staying together? How did they get together in the first place?

As far as posting recordings, Soundlick is free and relatively easy to use. I upload mp3 files there. You can explore and see what other formats it will accept. You can post a link here to any website. It could be YouTube. It could be your own website. It's probably best not to use a site that requires creating an account just to listen.

If you've poked around this forum, you'll find that some posters have pretty sophisticated software. Some of us just make a simple one-track recording of our singing plus guitar or other accompaniment.
Renee

jamestoffee
Guitarnoise Addict
Posts: 2882
Joined: November 22nd, 2008, 4:53 am

Re: Y13W1

Post by jamestoffee » November 11th, 2014, 8:50 pm

Welcome, jgpatton!

The first post is always the hardest and now you've done that. :D

Renee has some great suggestions to follow up on.
jgpatton wrote:Any other methods of posting recordings here?
I haven't tried this, but someone posted this in the other songwriting forum you could try.....
viewtopic.php?f=32&t=54485

Introducing the easiest way to share audio. Record or upload your favorite sounds and we give you a short link to share with your friends.
http://clyp.it/


Regarding the lyrics you have so far......You've got a good sense of using rhymes

Suggestion:

We didn't know HOW we knew,
this love affair would END (VERY/SO) SOON
You told me you'd keep me warm
on those cold nights, forever.
I told you I'd never look away
from those blue eyes, ever.

Thanks for sharing.

James

jgpatton
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: November 10th, 2014, 11:26 am

Re: Y13W1

Post by jgpatton » November 12th, 2014, 1:11 pm

Thanks to both of you for your suggestions. I couldn't agree more with you about this first post. Even with just the little bit I put down I was really nervous. I like the help with the lyrics too.
As I work on this I will see about that hook. I understand what your saying and I do need to figure out where I want this to go. I do hope to keep writing and I am open to help and all suggestions along the way.

Thanks again,
Jim

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