Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.
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LingDar
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Posts: 16
Joined: December 15th, 2015, 9:10 pm

Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

Post by LingDar » February 26th, 2016, 4:26 am

I made a YouTube video of making the song. Please check it out.
http://youtu.be/e0wr98oEcJI

The words are as follows
Can be seen on my new website
http://asylumoftruth.weebly.com/only-one-eye.html

Lyrics
Only one eye on the table
Where is my other damn eye
I ordered two blue eyes
Steamed with hints of garlic

Lousy service indeed
They deserve to see me
A real chef of humans
I cook better than they

Who doesn't serve two eyes
Soon to be slow roasted
Stuffed full of surgery apple slices
That's who only serves me one eye

O you will be sorry indeed
When your live is sautéed
As I drink your fresh blood
And nibble on your sweet spleen

But Sir it's a Cyclopes eye
Imported fresh from ain't isn't Greece
Very expensive and highly illegal
​After all Cyclopes are nearly extinct

But the menu said pair o eyes
This is just for you sir
I still want a free spleen
Of course sir I'll get Gavin's

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Hobson
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Joined: May 15th, 2009, 10:46 am
Location: Near Tombstone, Arizona, USA

Re: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

Post by Hobson » March 1st, 2016, 1:55 pm

Points for creativity.
Renee

Celt
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Re: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

Post by Celt » March 2nd, 2016, 12:23 pm

Like Renee said "Points for creativity"

Dark subject. Not often you hear a song about cannibalism.

The only criticism is it could a bridge or something to break it up some
but otherwise Good Job.

John
My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt

LingDar
newbie
Posts: 16
Joined: December 15th, 2015, 9:10 pm

Re: Y14 w17 Only One Eye?

Post by LingDar » March 5th, 2016, 8:51 pm

Thanks. I was thinking it may need to be broken up. A bridge is probably in order as I think I will do more with this song.
I'm working on making song around an asylum. And this was inspired by a patient my mother had who ate(regular food) uncontrollably and Hannover lector in a fanfic. If you go to http://www.asylumoftruth.com/phil.html you can read a bit about Phil the main voice in the song.

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