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ssg-week 15-the song

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.

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Postby BlackSwan » February 12th, 2004, 7:09 pm

So here it is...I think it's too long, actually, I know it's too long, even though the verses are short...maybe I should combine them? Or delete a few verses? Or not insert the chorus in so many times? I don't know. Anyway, rough copy here, and in the rain's the best title I can come up with right now...

In the rain

[Verse 1]
A voice,
Unsettling,
Fills her mind.
A place,
So beautiful,
In her dreams

[Chorus]
Hmm…
She's waiting,
Despite the rain,
She watches,
And soaks it in,
The faint music,
Lures her near,
The devil,
Waiting here

[Verse 2]
The guitar,
In its case,
Waiting to be played,
The shadow,
Flashes down,
The mystery to be seen

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Beads,
Of green,
Hidden knowledge within,
Soft glow,
The perfection,
That was this immortal being

[Chorus]

[Verse 4]
Words,
Fill her mind,
Showing her true pain,
     Horror,      
To be refused
The moment has to stay

[Chorus]

[Verse 5]
Oh, the darkness,
Takes over her body,
The music,
Draining out her life,
He's tender,
As he moves about,
And gives her,
The gift for keeps.
She is forever,
Changed that way,
The emotions,
Suddenly miles away,
Only the strings,
Replay their melodies,
And the passion,
Stays within.


-Laura
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Postby BlackSwan » February 15th, 2004, 8:10 pm

Hey Scratch,

Thanks for the suggestions! I think that's a great idea...but I would have never thought of it. Oh well. Now I know, and I feel so much better.  ;D

-Laura
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BlackSwan
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Posts: 153
Joined: June 18th, 2003, 12:31 pm
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