Week 47 - Shelter

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.
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Vic Lewis VL
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Week 47 - Shelter

Post by Vic Lewis VL » September 28th, 2004, 4:36 pm

And as for me, I'm having one of those "Totally bereft of Inspiration! weeks....so far.......

I wrote that at 1.07 am GMT, it's now 1.24.........

"Washed Away"

It's been raining now, for nigh on seven days,
It's been raining now, for nigh on seven days,
Well it ain't stopped rainin', since you went away.

Clouds are full of menace, sky is black,
Clouds are full of menace, sky is black,
These storm clouds'll stay round till you come back.

Lightning flashes, mirror my worst fears,
Lightning flashes, mirror my worst fears,
Rain so heavy, swallows up my tears.

I feel I'm sinking fast, I'm going down,
I feel I'm sinking fast, I'm going down,
If the storm don't finish soon, I may just drown.

If it don't stop raining, I may be washed away,
If it don't stop raining, I may be washed away,
If it don't abate, I won't last out the day.

I got to find, some shelter from the storm,
I got to find, some shelter from the storm,
If it don't stop soon, I wont last till dawn.

Without you baby, life just ain't no good,
Without you baby, life just ain't no good,
If you don't come back, I'll be washed away with the flood.

It's been raining now, for nigh on seven days,
It's been raining now, for nigh on seven days,
Well it ain't stopped rainin', since you went away.

Jung spoke of "Synchronicity"......events having a deeper meaning in space and time than mere co-incidence........the storms in Florida (hope you're all ok over there.....), mattguitar posting a tab for "Shelter from the Storm", and the Stones on the radio - "Gimme Shelter" - as I was reading Scratch's post.......hmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

"Shelter from the Storm," "Gimme Shelter," drat, all the good titles have gone!!!!

Vic

Edit - 1.34 AM by the time I finished typing!!!!!
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)

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sozay
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Post by sozay » September 28th, 2004, 5:02 pm

written in 17 minutes, nice work Vic!
seems the blues kinda feeling is contagious :)
Lightning flashes, mirror my worst fears,
Rain so heavy, swallows up my tears.
liked those lines.
very strong imagery at the start, 'menace', lightning flashes. paints a strong enough picture of the storm that you can emphasis the analogy/metaphor more in the 2nd half of the song without losing that image.
perhaps just needs something to break it up, whether that be a chorus, or an instrumental/solo section is upto to you, thou a intrumental/solo would probably work better with the bluesy feel i get reading this.

nice work
sozay

Vic Lewis VL
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Post by Vic Lewis VL » September 28th, 2004, 5:14 pm

Already working on guitar parts between the verses.....it may be late, but the neighbours aren't going to moan about me playing electric guitar...unplugged..and maybe a harmonica solo.....Thinking about it, I'm going to have to totally ditch the original riff I came up with, played it a couple of times and the Mrs said "huh, bloody zed leppelin again"....the riff I had for this did bear a certain resemblance to "when the levee breaks"........subconsciously of course......

Drat!!!!

I'll have to work on it tomorrow.......

Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)

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Post by alterego » September 28th, 2004, 7:18 pm

Hi Vic,
Nice work for a week devoid of any inspiration. Liked the way you managed to get away by repeating the lines. heh heh, nice, really nice.
hmm..synchronicity....god doesn't play dice, that was einstein right? in the other "storm" song by someone, i just started reading it and radiohead's high and dry started playing. of course thats not a storm song but still, "high", "dry"...

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scratchmonkey
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Post by scratchmonkey » September 28th, 2004, 8:35 pm

Having a week bereft of inspiration? -- make it a blues tune! I'm going to remember this, Vic.

Seriously, when somebody's posted a blues piece, I always try to read it with John Lee Hooker, or Robert Johnson, or Sonny Terry's voice to see if it fits. And this one definitely fits. Besides, what fits the assignment to use the imagery and metaphors of storms better than blues? Nothing I can think of. Nice piece, Vic.

-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)

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"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
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straycat.
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Post by straycat. » September 29th, 2004, 6:32 am

hello vic:)

definitely great one:)))
left me smiling happily as I always am after melancholy kinda songs;)

the repeating the lines twice idea is clever, really.
and it works for me.

love your use of words here. (e.g. 'clouds full of menace', 'mirror my worst fears', 'I may just drown'....)

sorry for not writing more(I could!) but I've no time...gotta learn my text for tomorrow(defying subject) by heart
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin

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Post by CheapThrill » September 29th, 2004, 6:16 pm

hey vic,

it is nice to see what great work people can come up with without any inspiration. wish i could learn to do that. :lol:

don't know what else i could say that hasn't already been said. so i will repeat, great imagery, nice flow, just a wonderful over all job. enjoyed reading you song.

-CheapThrill

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Post by smokindog » October 1st, 2004, 4:34 pm

8) 8) I,m with scratch her, can't go wrong with a bluesy tune. I think repeating a line is a great tool. If you have somthing imortant to say ' repeat it! LOL. Good tune, I like it alot! :D

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