Don’t Give In – You’re Never Too Old!

I have been on the verge of writing this article for a while now, but I just couldn’t focus on exactly what I wanted to say. The original title was to be “Don’t Give Up,” but there’s a subtle difference here; you see it’s only by giving in that we give up! If that sounds like nonsense, okay. I’ll come back to it later. Let me tell you about me first and hopefully pass on something useful.

I live in UK and started life as a drummer (yes, I know all the jokes!) when I was about fifteen. My school friends and I put a band together and played locally for several years until we went our separate ways to university, work etc. I found the drums easy to play, but, whenever we were onstage or watched anyone else playing, I always yearned to be that bloke at the front playing lead guitar. The Stones, Clapton, Hendrix and Page were my heroes. I saw them all become legends, and that should give you a clue to my age!

Many (many, many) years later there I was all of a sudden forty-eight and standing in front of an open air stage watching a live band – and watching the guitarist in particular. I suddenly had this mad urge, and no, there were no dancers on stage. The very next day I went to the local music shop. “I’m looking for a guitar for my nephew for his birthday.” Confidence was and still is a big issue. “I like that Les Paul type; how much is it?” After asking the shop guy to play it for me because I didn’t have the nerve, I ended up buying a second-hand Epiphone Les Paul and a case. Then I had to go home and explain to my wife what I’d done. To cut a very long story short, all went well and I now had to learn to play.

I knew a few basic chords from years ago when I’d had a little go at the guitar and then not bothered to continue. I got some books, spent literally hours on the internet and started lessons with a local teacher. I felt totally………….overwhelmed ! I didn’t know what to do first. I pressed on regardless, but never seemed to get anywhere. I changed teachers and began to learn some theory. My brother-in-law took up the guitar and we began to practice together but not very often. I tried to sing and someone told me I had a lousy voice. Everything was getting harder, not easier. Once, I was even asked by one incredulous youngster, who actually played the guitar himself, what I thought I was doing trying to learn to play at my age. Lots of doubts began to set in.

No one seemed to address the older guitarist (and I still believe this today and it is one reason for my writing this article). People who start later in life generally, but not always, have a family and that makes for difficulties with practicing. They don’t get back from work mid-afternoon and have the time, inclination or stamina to practice till the small hours and then start again, as they used to, when they were still at school.

Nevertheless, I plodded on, trying to put aside these doubts, and like many people, ended up after a few years with a lot of starts and middles to songs but very few that I could play all the way through. Then, a turning point! A guy at work, who I knew vaguely, said he had picked up the guitar again, and he was ten years older than me! He was practicing with a younger friend and was really enjoying it. Would I like to join them? Yes, please! And with trepidation, I went to the first practice. We played lots of songs from start to finish several times! I sang! I enjoyed it! I’m playing material I wouldn’t have been particularly interested in by myself but it doesn’t matter. We are almost performing.

I’m beginning to believe in myself! And this is the crux of the matter: I’ve now been playing just over five years; I’m a slow learner on guitar. I’ve set my sights too high many times (like wanting to learn to play Crossroads from start to finish with all of Clapton’s nuances). I’ve been going to give in to all my self-doubts many, many times. I’ve struggled by myself often. I’ve been about to give in to that little voice that says “You can’t do this” or “You’re no good at this” or even “Go back to drums!” If I had given in to these obstacles (and that’s all they are – fences that you have to climb over) then I would have given up the guitar and, having invested five years of my life so far in learning, it would have been an utter waste. So don’t give in to your doubts (especially you older players). If you think you are getting nowhere, try and play like you did the very first time you played and you’ll soon see how you’ve progressed. Also keep revisiting things you tried to play before and found difficult. If you leave a few months between trying you’ll find you can do more than you could before. Above all don’t give in and you’ll never give up!

Till next time