The Main Event
All right, how many of you have read the Iliad since last week? Thought so. How many of you have been thrown off by:
“Anger be now your song, immortal one,
Akhilleus’ anger, doomed and ruinous,
that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss
and crowded brave souls into the undergloom,
leaving so many dead men-carrion
for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done.
Begin it when the two men first contending
broke with one another-“
It may not be your cup of tea and that’s alright. I recognize the genius of whoever it was that used Shakespeare’s name, yet I don’t like Shakespeare. No one’s ever spoken like that, so I find it annoying. Genius, but annoying.
Of course, The Iliad probably loses in the translation. I can’t say for sure as I don’t read Greek, but, according to experts, the only translations ever written that were better than the original, were Beaudelaire’s versions of Poe. Of course, Beaudelaire was taking a lot more coke than Poe… And apparently he was crazier to begin with.
Anyway, the Iliad, according to Homer is a true story. Legend has it that Homer was there and witnessed the events himself. (I guess that must have been before he was blind…)
In fact, if Homer did exist, he could not have witnessed the events as they took place centuries before he lived. In all probability, he picked up the stories from the various cities he visited. A war like that one would have made for a lot of stories, mostly, exaggerations.
Until the early 19th century, Troy was believed to be a myth. Then it was found by an amateur archaeologist by the name of Schliemann who essentially plundered the remains.
The city existed for over 4,000 years and was rebuilt 15 times. This isn’t surprising considering it was located near a fault and great earthquakes were common. The city was in what we now call Turkey.
The seventh version of the city is the one most likely to have been the center-stage for the Iliad.
Facts
- the city did exist
- there was a siege which, in all likelihood, lasted several years
- the Greeks were united because of natural disasters and heavy losses, they had no choice
- there had to be several prominent heroes
If Homer would have used these facts and told them as they were, the songs would have been dull and would certainly not be around thousands of years later.
So Homer embellished it. This is what storytelling is all about. Think of it as reverse Hollywood.
In Hollywood, they take historical facts and embellish them. Yet the facts are common knowledge before the embellishment. Then people believe the Hollywood version and have to be taught the historical story all over again.
Recently, a friend of mine lent me his copy of the new version of Cleopatra. I must say, it’s superb cinematography. Great direction. Actors, well, Timothy Dalton is well accompanied. All in all, a fabulous motion picture.
However, the film is based on a novel. The only fact they got right, surprisingly, is that Cleopatra committed suicide using a Cobra rather than an Aspic. Yet, to people like my friend, who didn’t know the real story, they took this as being a presentation of the facts.
So, what you do with storytelling is that you take the facts of a story that is not well known, or that can be totally invented, and you embellish them. Let others find out the truth.
Chris De Burgh took a story of a train accident and turned it into a poker game between God and the Devil (the Devil cheats). Obviously, these two characters aren’t playing poker and waging souls, but the image is superb!
Menelaos may have been King of Sparta and Sparta was always the greatest Greek military power, but, being the jaded husband, he would not have made a truly larger-than-life hero. So Homer came up with Menelaos’ brother Agamemnon. Being just a brother-in-law, of the runaway bride, what did he care? He was a military genius. And Homer made him King of the legendary city of Mycenae, a great historical Greek city.
Saying that the Greeks were fighting together because they had no choice would have been an insult to most of them. And saying that, through natural disasters and military defeat, they had lost almost everything, would have been unthinkable.
The Classical Greeks, like their Roman descendants, were very superstitious. And everybody loves divine intervention. So Homer came up with the story of the apple. The prize being a woman, he made up Helen (Helen, by the way, means Greek) and turned the whole thing into a fight for a woman due to divine intervention.
So believe in the story or not, it’s much more entertaining this way! And as the facts could not have been researched at the time, why not make them more entertaining?
To Tell a Tale
Songs are generally embellished stories anyway. With storytelling, the trick is just to add more. Even if it ends up being totally ludicrous, it will still pass.
As a comparison, let us take the song Daddy by Emerson, Lake & Palmer (apologies to those of you who don’t like Prog Rock, but it would be difficult for me to use an example I’m not very familiar with, and anyway, Greg Lake is soon to be on the sell-outs list).
Lake does work for missing and exploited children in the US. This song is based on a girl who disappeared on her way back from school in Rochester, New York. Her abductor was found, admitted his crime, said he left her in some woods but he didn’t remember where. It took seven years before they finally found her body. This is written from the father’s viewpoint.
Daddy (Greg Lake)
It was a cold night in December
The snow lay on the ground
She was coming home from school one night
From the other side of town
It was getting late, there was something wrong
Then I heard the news
A TV Flash and by 9 o’clock
They’d found her socks and shoesDaddy come and bring me home
I didn’t know which way to turn
I was shaking like a leaf
I got into my car and drove
Searching every street
Has anybody seen her
Have you found my little girl
She’s all I have, all I possess
And to me, she means the worldI can hear her calling
Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy, when are you gonna bring me homeAs time went by each silent night
We knew all hope was gone
We knew the light had flickered
From the eyes that once had shone
They caught a man in a bar one night
He confessed to what he’d done
He’d laid her body out in some dark wood
Just didn’t know which one,
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me homeI just couldn’t leave her out there
Lying on her own
‘Cause she belongs to me
And I belong to her
I know she rests in Heaven
With the angels on a throne
But now I hear her calling
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me home
Daddy, Daddy come and bring me home© Greg Lake
Now I don’t want to criticize Lake writing style, but, being the father of two very beautiful young daughters, and having the opinion I have about people who mistreat-or worse-children, I must confess that I find this song rather difficult to listen to.
I know that’s the whole point of it, and it would be as big a crime to try to embellish this story-that would be impossible. But the point I’m trying to make is that some stories cannot or should not be embellished.
KISS
Use the KISS system (Keep It Simple…). Open a newspaper and find a filler. A filler is a story the paper runs because they have to fill in a space. It’s not really news, but an anecdote more than anything else.
Use the W5 system (Who, What, Where, When, Why-and How). Right down the elements. Then ignore the actual facts.
For example, this is from a local paper and there’s a good chance you’ve heard of it.
July 31st, a girl by the name of Sarah George was hiking with some friends in Idaho. At 3,000 meters altitude (roughly 3,000 yards), she wasn’t feeling too well and realized she wouldn’t make it back. One of the people with her had a cell phone and called for rescue.
A helicopter arrived to take her back down. Once inside, the pilot asked her whether she recognized him, to which she answered “No”. He then introduced himself as Harrison Ford. She refused to believe him, yet it was really him.
That’s all you need to get started:
- Who: Sarah George and Harrison Ford
- What: A mountain incident
- Where: A mountain
- When: Summertime
- Why: Didn’t feel well
Now, let us embellish.
Who is Sarah George? What does she look like? Apparently she was interviewed on ABC, but I didn’t see that. Regardless, Sarah George is a bland name (no offence intended to anyone with that name). Let’s just call her Sarah.
Harrison Ford is a rare thing: a celebrity and a nice guy. So, because he’s a celebrity, he’s already larger than life. Let’s add to that. Instead of a celebrity, let’s turn him into a Warrior Baron. Prince is too common in this type of story. A Baron makes him more of an adventurer. A warrior as in “going to the aid of a damsel in distress”.
So Sarah goes into the mountain and doesn’t feel too well. Pretty weak for a plot. Let’s say she was attacked, adds a bit of action. If she was attacked, then obviously someone must have attacked her. Therefore, we need an antagonist. Let’s make him some sort of Wizard called Rutger.
In the real story, a friend uses his cell phone to call for help. In this case, let’s say a friend escaped and was able to make it down the mountain and contact the Baron.
To our other question which is answered by summertime, this becomes rather irrelevant. No bearing on the story we are creating.
So the song itself should have a first verse introducing Sarah.
(Em)Sarah was a (Fmaj7)brave maid, her (Em)hair like (Fmaj7)fire
Who (C)faced the day with a (G)Lady’s grace
(Em)Climbing Witch Mountain
(makes it sound more ominous, don’t you think?)
to (Fmaj7)free her friends (why not? Makes her seem loyal)
From (C)Rutger’s hands, the (G)Wizard of night
The second verse should be the part where she gets caught
(Em)But the Wizard a(Fmaj7)waited, (Em)spying from a(Fmaj7)far
(C)Catching poor Sarah before (G)darkness fell
(Em)Locking her in a (Fmaj7)pitiful room (of course,the antagonist wants the damsel for himself)
(C)Where she’d await for the (G)moment of doom
Here would be the chorus. The chorus must revolve around the character that is Sarah and her predicament.
(Fmaj7)Maiden (G)Sarah (Em)high on the (Am)mountain
(Fmaj7)Who would (G)free you (Em)from the (Am)Wizard?
(Fmaj7)Did you (G)know when (Em)you were (Am)younger
(Fmaj7)That your (G)days might (Em)end with a (Am)stranger
(rhyme is purely coincidental)
In the (Fmaj7)darkest (G)place on the (A)land
Next verse, introduction of the Baron.
(Em)From a distant (Fmaj7)flight, (Em)the mistress’ (Fmaj7)aid
(C)Came to talk to a (G)noble Lord
The (Em)Baron Ford, who (Fmaj7)helped them all
The (C)one who had kept them (G)all from harm
chorus
Then, the Baron attacks the Wizard.
(Em)With his mighty (Fmaj7)sword (Em)and his courage (Fmaj7)high
(C)The Baron slid into the (G)Wizard’s lair
(lair makes it sound less graceful: points against the antagonist)
(Em)Though he fought hard, he (Fmaj7)fell at last
(C)Watching as the (G)Wizard laughed (why not?)
Note: It makes for a better story if the hero falls first. Then he takes the form of an underdog and everybody likes to see an underdog win.
chorus
The heroes victory, brought on by the antagonist’s bad manners.
(Em)As he (Fmaj7)watched the (Em)Man of (Fmaj7)Dark
(C)Take to Sarah with a (G)beast’s demure
(Em)The Lady cried and the (Fmaj7)Baron rose
(C)With a mighty cry he (G)felled the Beast
chorus
Final chorus. They live happily ever after (where you expecting something else?).
(Em)Maiden (Fmaj7)Sarah and (Em)Baron (Fmaj7)Ford
(C)Returned to tell of (G)the fallen one
(Em)With her friends now (Fmaj7)free
(C)Sarah was to es(G)pouse the man
It may be a bit lame, but take into consideration that I was writing this as I was going on. So now there’s a draft of a song I’ll probably never use…
It gives you an idea of the process involved. Of course I chose a setting that was in the Middle-Ages, nobody has yet, to my knowledge, started telling stories taking place in our time. Perhaps that’s what’s needed.
This previous example should be taken as general guidance only. You can play around with the concepts and add or remove as much as you want. Just take into consideration what people like in a story.
- Heroes
- Damsels in distress (even in this day and age)
- Characters who are what they can only wish to be
- Someone to hate and to blame
- A happy ending
With these elements you can’t go wrong.