first, thanks so much for your comments!then... it's actually choke.... sorry... and it's kinda mean feeling the world too heavy on my head, and thus ...
I edited, one line... which I didn't feel great about... and... now I really need to know what u guys think abt it... and if u think it sucks, feel fr...
hey.... u guys know I love you! :-):puppy eyes:
with rythm I was mainly referring to 'narration rythm', meaning that punctuation makes it read easier, and normally does give a better flow :wink: bt...
I edited the piece, cos I found some mistakes I made while putting it on, hopefully it makes more sense... moreover, I changed the line Pete was refer...
I like the idea, and congrats for your first song...I do agree with Peter on more than one thing: the first verse is nice, and I also think that you ...
It's such a cool happy song! I really like it and I really really love the end! "Free as a bird on the breezeNo more worries no conflictNothing but in...
thanks :-)... and thanks also 4 the huge help in getting me to that rewrite..
I edited the second version taking some of your advices, it did mean changing the end musically to, but I think the new end does sound better... thank...
match was black at the beginning and the word black was my hook... I had already the music, and didn't felt like messing with it anymore, but some pep...
I totally get it now... This moon thing is curious ;-)... to me has the effect of getting 'distracted' way esily, and music is normally involved =)'ma...
is there anyone on this board? (not meant to be said in any arrogant way, just cus there are no new posts and such)...