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Musician Jokes, anyone?

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Rum Runner
(@rum-runner)
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Posts: 424
Topic starter  

I just love jokes about musicians. Thought it would be cool if we posted our favorites. I'll start:

Little Johnny proudly said to his mother, "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a musician!"

His mother answered him, "Now Johnny, be realistic; you know you can't do both."

Regards,

Mike

"Growing Older But Not UP!"


   
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KR2
 KR2
(@kr2)
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Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb ?

A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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bloos66
(@bloos66)
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Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. The Lead player can do it with his teeth.


   
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bloos66
(@bloos66)
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with sincere apologies, no offense intended!

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.


   
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SMFC1
(@smfc1)
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I've got two for ya:

1. What's the difference between a guitar player and a mutual fund?
a: The mutual fund will eventually mature and earn money.

2. What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
a: The large pizza can feed a family of four.


   
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NoteBoat
(@noteboat)
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with sincere apologies, no offense intended!

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.

Q: What do you call a drummer who loses one stick?

A: A conductor

Guitar teacher offering lessons in Plainfield IL


   
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NoteBoat
(@noteboat)
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Jimmy decides to take up the bass. Comes home from his first lesson...

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I learned how to play root notes

Next week Jimmy comes home....

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I learned how to play the fifths

Next week Jimmy comes home....

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I don't have time for lessons anymore. I've got too many gigs.

Guitar teacher offering lessons in Plainfield IL


   
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Alan Green
(@alangreen)
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Musical jokes?

Britney Spears, live in concert?

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
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KR2
 KR2
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Awww . . . now, Alan . . . play nice.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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Gabba Gabba Hey
(@gabba-gabba-hey)
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Equal opportunity humor:

Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
A: Give him sheet music.

Q: How do you get a keyboardist to stop playing?
A: Take away his sheet music.

Q: What's the hardest three years of a drummer's life?
A: 2nd grade.

Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.

Q: How many country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One. Five. One.

Q: How does a bass player count 7/8 time?
A: 1-2-3-4-5-6-sev-en

Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A musician with a mortgage.

Kenny G walks into an elevator and says, "Man, this place is HAPPENING!"

Q: How many jazz musician jokes are there?
A: Just one -- all the rest are true!

:note2:


   
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greybeard
(@greybeard)
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What's perfect pitch?

When you chuck a trombone into a skip without it touching the sides.

I started with nothing - and I've still got most of it left.
Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in any dictionary?
Greybeard's Pages
My Articles & Reviews on GN


   
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