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A Post after many months--F*** Your Fear

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jus_another_sin
(@jus_another_sin)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

ITs been a really really long time since i last posted a song, infact for a while i didnt write any. i thought i had lost it. anyways this is somethin i wrote recently, its pretty hard rock. as the forum doesnt allow bad words i had to use astrix, but then with the kinda minds u have i dont think u gonna have a problem making out the words :twisted:

F YOUR FEAR

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f*** you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f eternity

Stand up brother and take control
if ya bow down they gonna put ya through a hole
you gotto take a stand its a full fledged bloody war
if ya wanna win you better f them all

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f
you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f*** eternity

Stand up lady, he's a son-of-*-bi***
you don need the sh** jus kick the bloody itch
you dont have to go through hell everynite
kick the motherfu* outta the house
f
him outta sight

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f
you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f*** eternity

Stand up jonny, she's just a who**
there's someone else out there whose gonna love you more
She a day old newspaper trash her out
save yourself a lot of pain, boy f the doubt

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f*** you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f*** eternity

LEMME KNOW WHT YOU PEOPLE THINK

there's a lot of difference between an open mind and a hole in the head !


   
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Gino
 Gino
(@gino)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 72
 

Personally, I think the constant use of expletives suggest a total lack of vocabulary.
Buy a dictionary, and get help.

Comments amended 30-06-05, as too critical. Gino.

I say and write what I'm thinking, then wish I hadnt.
My only redeeming feature is that I'm honest.


   
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Nick Torres
(@nicktorres)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 5381
 

I'm going to agree with the lack of vocabulary and save the mental health assessment to your therapist.

If you are going to swear in a song, it is much more powerful to save it and use it once. Take a look at Bruce Cockburn's "If I had a rocket launcher" for instance.

Personally, I think it takes away from the song. IMHO it looks like a crutch to prevent you from having to think and write about how you really feel.


   
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scratchmonkey
(@scratchmonkey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 603
 

Personally, I think the constant use of expletives suggest a total lack of vocabulary.
I'm going to agree with the lack of vocabulary ...
me too.

-- Scratch 8)


"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42


   
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todds
(@todds)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
 

I agree with all of the above. The only group I can think of who use a lot of expletives effectively are Tenacious D and they use it for comic effect.


   
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yoyo286
(@yoyo286)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 1681
 

I agree with all of the above. The only group I can think of who use a lot of expletives effectively are Tenacious D and they use it for comic effect.

Tenacious D rules!!! :D

And yes, if I didn't know better, I'd of thought that was gangster rap.. :lol:

Stairway to Freebird!


   
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lotto king
(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 777
 

????????????????????? what the ?

was that a song or just another foul mouth ???

I am soo totally bored with rubbish like that " BORING "

try looking up some words in a dictionary , it may help you with your limited vocabulary.

best of luck getting air play for it , but I would not be bothered in pushing it

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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Alan Green
(@alangreen)
Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5342
 

I've always thought that people swear a lot to cover up the fact that they don't have anything to say that's worth listening to. This song does nothing for me.

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
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todds
(@todds)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
 

jus_another_sin,

I was looking through this post again this morning and realized that all of our comments were negative and focused on your use of swearing. Each one of us was just sort of piling on and that's not going to help you. So now it's time for some constructive feedback.

After reading through these lyrics a couple more times, I think the only problem with the song is the swearing. I think the structure's good and there's good imagery. You have a clear message that we need to overcome fear and doubt in order to resist oppression, and I think that each verse is effective in showing the different forms that oppression can take (government, significant others, etc.).

All in all, I think you are on the right track. But the fact that I didn't see all of that upon the first reading because I was distracted by all the swearing is a big problem.

I hope you aren't discouraged by the feedback in here. Just keep writing away.


   
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Nick Torres
(@nicktorres)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 5381
 

....but the responses do give you a good idea of how distracting the swearing is. The message gets lost.


   
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Gino
 Gino
(@gino)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 72
 

Hey Todds, you are a very kind fellow. Unfortunately, I disagree with you; Look at the chorus:

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f
you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f*** eternity

The only imagery is hateful imagery. Hateful, violent and anarchistic.
This, (I'm sorry to say), is not a musician, merely a lout.

I say and write what I'm thinking, then wish I hadnt.
My only redeeming feature is that I'm honest.


   
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greybeard
(@greybeard)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5840
 

Hey Todds, you are a very kind fellow. Unfortunately, I disagree with you; Look at the chorus:

F your our fear and rule the world
dont come near or i'll f
you up
i dont give a dam* if ya dont agree to me
you can take a walk, i'll f eternity

The only imagery is hateful imagery. Hateful, violent and anarchistic.
This, (I'm sorry to say), is not a musician, merely a lout.

There is a great deal of hate, violence and a disrespect for society that closely borders on anarchy. I have no problem with that message being put across.
Where I see the problem, which Nick also remarked upon, is the excessive use of expletives. They totally detract from the imagery.

There are areas in many cities, where poverty, unemployment and crime lead to widespread despair and anger. There was a song, which, in my opinion, captured those emotions and the inherent hopelessness of those communities beautifully and not an expletive in sight - you may have heard of it, it was a little number called "In the Ghetto". Strong imagery, plenty of emotion and not one f anywhere.

I started with nothing - and I've still got most of it left.
Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in any dictionary?
Greybeard's Pages
My Articles & Reviews on GN


   
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Gino
 Gino
(@gino)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 72
 

That's very true Mr Beard. Very true.

I say and write what I'm thinking, then wish I hadnt.
My only redeeming feature is that I'm honest.


   
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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
 

man, fuck these bitches, they have no fucking clue what they're talking about.
there's nothing wrong with cursing.

your song sucks donkey nuts, though.


   
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Gino
 Gino
(@gino)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 72
 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Wait! :idea: Why am I laughing???????????? :!:

I say and write what I'm thinking, then wish I hadnt.
My only redeeming feature is that I'm honest.


   
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