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A song I wrote. and...
 
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A song I wrote. and im only 15.

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(@babs22110)
Eminent Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

Hey I am Beth.
Check out my song.
Leave good feedback and/or improvements i could make.

I wish
Hangin around
that old broken road
cant drift to far
cant seem to let go

and suddenly i just start to cry
the words within
they all seem to die

Chorus
I wish that i could be who i wanted
to go all around and have fun
i wish i was an angel with wings to take me away
to another day, to another day

Holdin on
to all those broken dreams
all of my fears
they are not what seems
but then i want
something more inside
wanna be free
do not want to hide

back to chorus

Ending
I wish that i had someone to wipe away all of my tears
I wish that i had someone to fight away all of my fears
nd now i know this is so true
that i love you
that i love you


   
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(@twistedlefty)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 4113
 

nice work , keep it up.
btw, are you related to anyone here? just curious. 8)

#4491....


   
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(@crkt246)
Honorable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 592
 

Not bad not bad at all


   
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(@pearlthekat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1468
 

this is very nice. i especially like this line: i wish i was an angel with wings to take me away
to another day, to another day


   
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(@coleclark)
Honorable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 417
 

yeah, that line is definate standout, with the right emphasis when the song is sung it could really make or break the whole song.


   
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