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A song that I wrote
 
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A song that I wrote

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(@illicit)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 111
Topic starter  

Geesh, I wrote a bright song that's not about sadness, death nor involving anyone getting ripped to shreds by giant robots from the future. I guess I haven't seen everything yet.

----

I'd wake up in the night and let my mind wander
And think about the ins and outs of everything
And nothing in paticular
Her and all these things between us
That makes us laugh till we cry
All these silly little things
That noone else can grasp

Our unison voices speak a language only we know
The sound tickles our hearts and lures out a note
It rises to the heavens, swoops to the ground
And informs everyone inbetween
That this time it's for real

Ah, now the world's a palette with nothing but grey
She tore the blindfold off my eyes and made me see
Everything and all that could have been
And ever can be in the future
It all pales near her

We cling to eachothers necks and suck them dry
Feeding off one another, whispering off-key lullabies
Yeah, I pray she won't just vanish while I sleep
Turn out to be just a dream
But I'm beginning to wrap my head around the fact
That this time it's for real

Our unison voices speak a language only we know
The sound tickles our hearts and lures out a note
It rises to the heavens, swoops to the ground
And informs everyone inbetween
That this time it's for real

Behold! The great northern viking's pinnacle of evolution! Behold my wavy blonde locks, my icy blue eyes and my muscular physique! Behold my.. screw this, I'm going to McDonald's.


   
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(@illicit)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 111
Topic starter  

Oh, yeah. It's really only a first draft that I wrote down quickly to get an idea of the structure, so any helpful comments would be greatly appreciated. I normally don't post pieces on the internet that haven't been completely worked through, except this one and the one for last weeks Sunday Songwriter's Group.

Behold! The great northern viking's pinnacle of evolution! Behold my wavy blonde locks, my icy blue eyes and my muscular physique! Behold my.. screw this, I'm going to McDonald's.


   
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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
 

tickles our hearts and lures out a note

Like that line.
But I'm beginning to wrap my head around the fact
That this time it's for real

Oh yeah... and that one.

Nice work.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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