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Awake

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(@alterego)
Estimable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 83
Topic starter  

H! everybody,
Its been a long long time since I last posted here so I'm not sure if most of old timers are still around. Here's something I wrote a coupla years ago ago. It doesn't follow any particular song structure. Instead, its more like a poem. Having said that, I feel it still can make it as a song. Anyways, here it goes:

Awake

awake, my friend
hold my hand
let us walk by the sea
of our distant dreams
where the Sun is
all but bright
and the Moon's a jewel
in the crown of the night
fading stars and
yawning clouds
roll over the mountains
beneath the lit-up house
where our dreams are caged
with our empty souls
where strange games are played
and stranger tales told
where the dawn refuses to knock
so we wait by the lonely rock
await, for our story to begin
awake, for our time is running thin...

-© Sachin Shrestha
[email protected]

http://poemasmuertos.blogspot.com/


   
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(@dneck)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 630
 

I got this really sweet image of someone kinda not screaming but saying that really loudly with urgency haha, with like some awsome tribal drums and other stuff in the background. Good job I liked it.

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile


   
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(@mrjonesey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 470
 

There is definitely a song there.

I picture an easy appregio throughout with a soulful, talk sing quality to the lyrics. I would leave it as is for the verses. And then stop for the chorus (no music) and then sing something like:

"Oh, oh, Awake, My friend"

Folowed by a couple of bars of full strums using the appregioed chords from the verse.

I can see why you held on to that one.

"There won't be any money. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conciousness. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice." - Bill Murray, Caddyshack ~~ Michigan Music Dojo - http://michiganmusicdojo.com ~~


   
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