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Can You (lyrics only)

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(@morkalg)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 24
Topic starter  

Can You

Can you say you've loved and lost
Can you say you paid the cost
Can you say you took the risk
And still you never got your kiss

I can look back on my past
I can say I took that chance
I can tell you what I've missed
Cause still I never got my kiss

I want to walk with you
In gardens we have grown
I want to talk with you
In a house we've made a home
I want to dream with you
Just like it used to be
I miss the laughing you
I wish that you could see

Can you say you took a chance
Can you say love had your dance
Can you say you gave your hand
And still I cannot be your man

I can say I saw your soul
I can say you made me whole
I can say I felt the bliss
And still I never got your kiss

I want to walk with you
In gardens we have grown
I want to talk with you
In a house we've made a home
I want to dream with you
Just like it used to be
I miss the laughing you
I wish that you missed me

© Rob Crocker 2006

I'm playing around with the music of this one... so far as I sing it and play it it's sort of in the style of "Til Kingdom Come" by Coldplay, just an airy sort of guitar tune then the chorus is echoed out with some backing vocals as well.

Thoughts appreciated.

Each word led me on to another word,
Each deed to another deed.

-Havamal-


   
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(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago
Posts: 0
 

Hey, nice work on the whole, I like it!

What chords / riffs are you playing with the lyrics?

My only quibble is that the line

"I miss the laughing you"

doesn't seem complete. When I read it it felt like it was going to lead onto another line, but it goes nowhere
and it also doesn't make grammatical sense (picky I know but I felt it threw the song off slightly).

A small point but in a song this good a small problem stands out, you know? I still love it though! :)

Pete


   
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(@dneck)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 630
 

Hey I think that its all very well written and it has the same style of your other songs (let it be i think it was called?). Anyways, although I agree about the "I miss the laughing you" line, I also see the image and I think it could work fine. i.e. It will sing better than it reads. I tried to think of a different way to word it, but id say to leave it like it is and see how it sounds when all is said and done.

heres what I thought of

"I miss laughing with you"

but that changes the image a bit, i like yours better. You should post an mp3 when you get it written, your stuff all sounds great.

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile


   
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(@nolongerme)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 475
 

Very nice song...I really like it!


   
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(@amazing_ness)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 61
 

what about "i want to laugh with you" to go with the other I want to walk/talk/dream. note, the I WANT part is what I think should remain.

Hey.


   
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(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 112
 

rob...I think it works fine just the way it is...lets hear the music....ps..still waiting to hear the completed "Shark"...cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
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