Cheating Heart

Hey

Wow your writting is really improveing out of sight , alot of emotion with in the lyrics .

Little suggestions You may not agree with but I'll mention them anyway ..

cant play second to non <-----I can't play second

I just love this verse , this is really good

I've been banking on promises
Of your love far to long
An your cheating hart
has got the best of me, this time

Keep up your writting

Your getting very good at this

Cheers

Trevor

thanks trevor

cant play second to non <-----I can't play second the reason for non is because its not a person that is the other love the other love is Alcohol

its one of those songs that you go no way when you see the video because its not at all what you would have thought when hearing it on the radio
I dont know if that makes any diffrence or not

i was thinking this might sound better if I
take out the part in bold

I don't want to cry no more
I don't want to write
broken hearted love songs

and replace it with this

I dont wanna play this game
of love and hate
Cause its hurting way to bad
I want to laugh out loud
Cause the feelings good
I want to feel real love
and know that I am the only one
that your dreaming of

what do you think ??

Yeah I like that ..

But just remember its' not what others like its' what works for you ..

I am only reading lyrics , you have the tune in your head ..

But yeah I do like that little change

Trevor

so I made that change as well I changed the title to

THE BEST OF ME

Cheers
Mystic

How about this for the third verse?

Don't want your second hand love
Make me your number one
You could release the other girl
Prove you want me in your world

Just something I thought you might like but feel free to disagree :)

thanks for the input kosmos

I like what you have and would be a good change to the verse except the song isn't about a love afair with a person but for the love of alcohol

she feels like she is his second love because the alcohol is always put before she is I hope that makes sence :lol: ??

thanks trevor

cant play second to non <-----I can't play second the reason for non is because its not a person that is the other love the other love is Alcohol

its one of those songs that you go no way when you see the video because its not at all what you would have thought when hearing it on the radio
I dont know if that makes any diffrence or not

i was thinking this might sound better if I
take out the part in bold

I don't want to cry no more
I don't want to write
broken hearted love songs

and replace it with this

I dont wanna play this game
of love and hate
Cause its hurting way to bad
I want to laugh out loud
Cause the feelings good
I want to feel real love
and know that I am the only one
that your dreaming of

what do you think ??

:wink: Mystic

It makes sense now you have explained it to me but I can see how anyone reading your lyrics can make the same mistake I did in understanding your meaning for example:-

your arms are tightly wrapped ---->could mean anything including another woman?
around your other love

Your cheating heart
has got the best of me this time---->here again meaning is ambiguous, did this guy cheat on you for a love of another woman or what?

and know that I am the only one
that your dreaming of---->would this guy really dream of a bottle above you?

What I've learned during my studies of songwriting is to try and make the meaning of the song clear to your audience and keep things relatively simple, otherwise confusion shines through and maybe you lose the interest of the listener.

I'm not knocking your song and obviously everyone writes different but I'm just trying to be constructive in bringing these points to your attention and don't wish to sound negative here just positive - otherwise I like your song and look forward to more songs from you. :)

Kosmos
Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 3:09 pm

It makes sense now you have explained it to me but I can see how anyone reading your lyrics can make the same mistake I did in understanding your meaning for example:-

your arms are tightly wrapped ---->could mean anything including another woman?
around your other love

Your cheating heart
has got the best of me this time---->here again meaning is ambiguous, did this guy cheat on you for a love of another woman or what?

and know that I am the only one
that your dreaming of---->would this guy really dream of a bottle above you?

What I've learned during my studies of songwriting is to try and make the meaning of the song clear to your audience and keep things relatively simple, otherwise confusion shines through and maybe you lose the interest of the listener.

I'm not knocking your song and obviously everyone writes different but I'm just trying to be constructive in bringing these points to your attention and don't wish to sound negative here just positive - otherwise I like your song and look forward to more songs from you.

this is somthing I read once and I seem to try to live by it in most of my writting :D
Think big picture when writing. happiness, love, sadness, heartbreak because everybody can relate. draw from your experience. The song you're singing about dosent have to say who or what your singing about. for example.........You can reminisce about the pet that you lost during a break-up song. you're audience will pick up on those feelings and start searching their hearts for what they miss most. No one has to know that the "she/he" that you lost was the fury pet you had as a child.

:D Mystic