Clear my mind

The rhyme & meter seem to be very good indeed - no changes necessary here. I especially like verses 3 & 4, I think they are killer material.

The only issue I have is that the story being told, and the imagery used, is all fairly generic. Girl with nice perfume and long brown wavy hair? I think she's appeared in about 1,000,000 songs to date. Guy at bar drinking his sorrows away? I think he has a fair number of appearance credits as well. It's ok to use these characters in your song but you should find some way of describing them that is new and memorable. Dig out some juicy new words or metaphors that have never been used in this context before.

Like I said the imagery and use of metaphor in v3/v4 is really good; it would be nice if the rest of the song were original like these lines and not just a rehash of a dozen country/blues songs I've heard before.

Happy writing.

I disagree with the previous poster. I think the lyrics are original enough, and I don't think there's really much change needed. I like the flow, the rhyme, the imagery, everything.

One thing though... How do you smell her brown wavy hair? Or do you mean that you want to clear your mind of the image of her long brown wavy hair? Or perhaps you smell the perfume of her long brown wavy hair?

Catch my drift? That's the only line I'd change a bit.

Thanks for the input, I kinda thought the first 2 verses were to generic also. But after i completed the lyric they seemed to fit. Thanks again. Nite.........