Skip to content
Close

Forum

close to me --criti...
 
Notifications
Clear all

close to me --critique--


(@xlosexyoux)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

[v1]
i think about you every night before i go to bed.
hoping the phone will ring and it will be you on the other end.
when i hear your name my heart skips a beat.

[pc]
maybe it seems a bit pathetic that i can't tell you how i feel but ...

[chorus]
i think you belong somewhere close to me.
i want to rest in your arms.
i want you to be the one that tells me everything will be alright.
you belong somewhere close to me.

[v2]
i can tell you anything and i hope you know you can do that same.
i get excited when i see a message from you on my phone.
and i can't wait to get home to talk to you again.

[pc]
maybe it seems a bit pathetic that i can't tell you how i feel but ...

[chorus]
i think you belong somewhere close to me.
i want to rest in your arms.
i want you to be that one that tells me everything will be alright.
you belong somewhere close to me.

[bridge]
i should tell you about these feelings i have for you.
but i'm just to shy, i'll just keep this to myself.

[chorus]
i think you belong somewhere close to me.
i want to rest in your arms.
i want you to be that one that tells me everything will be alright.
you belong somewhere close to me.
[x2]

... close to me ...

"i collect friends, i have about three." - ville valo

"listen, ryan's at it again. he just got stabbed in the eye with a fork and now he has to rock a pirate patch for atleast a month. its ridiculous." 'valo' *bam margera*


Quote
(@noel-iu)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 96
 

Hey!
Good one ou got here.... it could work very nice on a Avril Lavigne lookalike style
Do you got some guitar on it?
It helps a lot to put all lined and make the rhyme fit...
But you got it

One thing... why do you repeat the same phrase in the chorus?
Is it some kind of echo?
You could leave it like this... just a 1 min. draft... but you get the idea
[chorus]
you belong somewhere close to me.
i want to rest in your arms.
You're the one that tells me
everything will be alright.

http://www.freewebs.com/noel-iu

http://noel-iu.dmusic.com/


ReplyQuote
(@bassgirl)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 7
 

very well done. I like how it expresses the deepest feelings . keep it going. guitar should sound pretty awsome to that one :D

Life goes on forever, and music lasts a lifetime. Get in and be heard.


ReplyQuote