Everything
I'm slowly moving forward,
My heart is longing to make
A pit-stop.
My doomed life's
Flowing by inertia,
The incubus of love's
Eternal.
I'm coming down,
Blinded by love's light.
For one heart love is too much,
Mine is much for two.
My love, my everything,
Can't pass through it , it's stronger.
My love , my everything...
I'm buried for the real world.
I fall, it makes you rise,
Your pain is washed away
By my tears, I don't wanna be saved,
No love without sacrifice.
I'm drowning in your lies,
Desponding, I'm denied.
But I can't leave love to chance,
Can't leave behind.
I can't make a step back
To the crossroad of my possible ways,
This time I'm afraid
Of moving forward.
Linger in nowhere...
prettey good but it sounds a little dark.
Overall, I love the way it reads. There's a certain rhythm to it that seems to work very well with the mood you're setting. A couple of minor things caught my eye . . . .
A pit-stop.
Seems a little out of place and not as poetic as everything else you have going . . . .
Too,
Flowing by inertia,
The incubus of love's
Eternal.
Seems out of place going the other direction, maybe a little too highbrow . . . .
And,
desponding
Did you mean "despondent?"
But of course it's just my humble opinion. It's a nice work and hope to hear some music with it one day.
Good work.
Neil
duuuuuuuuude i still love your writing
there is an album out by Atreyu called 'lead sails paper anchor'
its pretty new. buy it! cause it rocks, but also cause its exactly the type of music i see your lyrics with every song you write.
Thanks a lot to everyone for the attention, I'm glad you like it.
Chefie: I meant exactly desponding: desponding - of despond: to give up the will, courage or spirit.
