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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
Topic starter  

Home

Raindrops,
Quietly falling from skies,
Memories,
Now left far behind,
Traces,
Hidden deep in the dust,
Faces,
Empty dreams, angst and lust.

Here start all the ways
To the end of nowhere,
Here misery reigns,
But no one ever cares.
When I close my eyes,
See behind my eyelashes
Some strange city of lights -
It's revived from the ashes.

Mysterious city that I've never seen -
I call it my home, it is where I feel in.
I've found my shelter
In a far-away place,
I'll take you with me, no matter what it takes.

The city enchants me,
It tempts, captivates;
But something calls back,
As reminds I can't stay.
Without you, love,
It just can't be my home.
You think I would stay,
I would leave you alone?

Mysterious city that I've never seen -
I call it my home, it is where I feel in.
I've found my shelter
In a far-away place,
I'll take you with me, no matter what it takes.

Raindrops,
Quietly falling from skies,
Memories
That I can't leave behind,
Love
That I found one day,
Light
In the end of the way.


   
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lwj001
(@lwj001)
Reputable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 160
 

Hi BeautifulDisaster. I'd be tempted to change the title to "Mysterious City".
Not much in the lyrics I would change, but here's a couple suggestions:
Mysterious city that I've never seen -
I call it my home, it is where I feel in.
Mysterious city that I've never seen
I call it my home, feels like where I've been
Love
That I found one day,
Light
In the end of the way
Love
Love has found a way
Home
At the end of the day

Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/


   
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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
Topic starter  

Thanks a lot for the suggestions, but I like it as it is and won't change anything.


   
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lwj001
(@lwj001)
Reputable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 160
 

OK ABeautifulDisaster. It was just my 2 cents anyway.
Thanks for posting the song. Adios......LWJ

Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/


   
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crkt246
(@crkt246)
Honorable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 592
 

that is really good man :D


   
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jasonggabbott
(@jasonggabbott)
Trusted Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 34
 

what style of music do you put your lyrics too??
I like the lyrics .


   
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KR2
 KR2
(@kr2)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

Very, very good lyrics.
I was imagining the tune "Back Home Again" by John Denver while reading it.
You might want to change eyelashes to eyelids.
I'm not even sure how one would look behind pieces of hair (eyelashes)

(What part of "won't change anything" don't I understand?)

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
Topic starter  

Thanks a lot for the replies!

Actually, it can be any style, and the problem is that it's not put to music yet, and I would love someone who is more of a composer to help me with that.

And no, as I've said, I don't want to change anything.
By the way, the metaphor "behind my eyelashes" means just closed eyes, which stands for dreaming.


   
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coleclark
(@coleclark)
Honorable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 417
 

you should try and get 4 or 5 of you 'best' songs so someone in the business as a writer. see if they know of bands that could take you words and make the songs there own. you retain songwriting rights. youll be set!


   
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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
Topic starter  

Thanks for the advice, but I have another plans.
I hope that some day I'll be able to form my own band and to be the singer of my own songs, which is much better.


   
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