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i'll never forget

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(@hurricane)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 35
Topic starter  

I’ll never forget
_____________

She took me by surprise
I had to rub my eyes
Could I have found her at last?

She’s looking so good
I know that I would
Gonna have to talk to her and fast

I saw her go for a smoke break
I fumbled to find my lighter

I lit her cigarette
Twas the first time we met
My pink lady I’ll never forget

I was finding it hard
Hard to talk to her
I couldn’t find the words to say

My throat it was dry
My palms they where wet
My interest I just couldn’t convey

I decided to wait for the right time
I knew that id know when that was

And know it I did
I gave her a rosette
My pink lady I’ll never forget.

Our first Saturday night
Twas pouring with rain
Didn’t matter when she said my name

Was lost in a gaze
A warm glowing haze
My smile I just couldn’t refrain

Then we swept through the town
Like a breath of fresh air
They just didn’t know how to handle us

Well it all tought me this
What I want I’ll go get
My pink lady I’ll never forget.

And i'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it and reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it.- Bob Dylan,a hard rains gonna fall


   
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(@alangreen)
Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 5342
 

Hi, Hurricane,

I'm reading this at work, and I should be doing something else so I'll have to be brief.

The structure is unusual:

Two verses - 3 line seach
bridge - 2 lines
three verses - 3 lines each
bridge - 2 lines
five verses - 3 lines each

and the rhyming scheme went from the first two lines in each verse to the last line of each verse, and back again.

There are some workable ideas in here, but I think you need to start with a bit of a tidy up in those areas.

Best,

A :-)

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
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(@hurricane)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 35
Topic starter  

cheers for looking over this.

i'll try to explain how it goes.

its basically just three verses with a variation of the bridge, and what im calling a chorusesqe bit.

bridge (s)

"i saw her go for a smoke break,
i fumbled to find my lighter"

"i decided to wait for the right time,
i knew that i'd know when that was"

"then we swept.......ect

then each ending or chorusesqe part to tie in the pink lady i'll never forget part"

i know it might seem a bit arse from elbow but when i play this it sounds good and i think works really well.

anyway cheers for input.

best
hurricane

And i'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it and reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it.- Bob Dylan,a hard rains gonna fall


   
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