hey guys, i just wrote this song yesterday and finished today, its a rough draft (well maybe i really like it like this) but i want to see what you guys think.
Least I Can Do
As I sit in the car,
I think about that girl that left me,
As I drive as far,
As I can before my memories hit me,
I know,
I can't get away,
But the least I can do,
The least I can do is try…
Life can hit you so hard it hurts,
Life sucks and it only gets worse,
And it's all because of the girl,
That decided I wasn't good enough for her…
Who cares,
Well I sorta do,
But I sorta don't,
Can I have mixed feelings,
Can I feel the both,
And, what if I tried,
To get her off my mind,
But, it's the least I can do, (least I can do)
The least I can do is try…
So I wrote you a letter,
No it's not about hate,
I just wanna learn what happened,
Give it to me straight,
I feel like you were wrong,
I was right, but I am gone,
And it doesn't make sense,
Well what does now…
Life can hit you so hard it hurts,
Life sucks and it only gets worse,
And it's all because of the girl,
That decided I wasn't good enough for her…
Who cares,
Well I sorta do,
But I sorta don't,
Can I have mixed feelings,
Can I feel the both,
And, what if I tried,
To get her off my mind,
But, it's the least I can do, (least I can do)
The least I can do is try…
Well, who cares,
I know I do,
But I don't,
Want to beg to you,
Well, I know,
That this,
Is how life, goes…
Life can hit you so hard it hurts,
Life sucks and it only gets worse,
And it's all because of the girl,
That decided I wasn't good enough for her…
Who cares,
Well I sorta do,
But I sorta don't,
Can I have mixed feelings,
Can I feel the both,
And, what if I tried,
To get her off my mind,
But, it's the least I can do, (least I can do)
The least I can do is try…
could i maybe get some input here or something? good or bad.
I am not sure since I am not a great critic but I have a hard time following it. I understand the message but not sure how it will play. I guess I would just need to hear it to decide on the flow. What I am saying is that some of the lines need to be simplified to make it flow better and make it easier to sing. Try singing it and maybe you will understand what I am trying to say.
Since the message is clear it is a good start. Keep at it.
i uh, actually already sing it and stuff i have written music for it, i would give an audio file of it but i don't have anything to record with. but when i sing it the way i sing it sounds alright. so i don't know but thanks for the reply. and thanks for the input.
If you could scrap up a recording it would be greatly appreciated. You can do what I do .. just buy a cheap ass .. headphone/mic set ... plug that into your soundcard mic input ... download a free recording program and voila. It's not great quality ... but it works good enough to give yourself and others how it would sound. Total cost about 20bucks for the headphone/mic set.
As I was reading it one word stuck out ... "sucks". It just kind of deterred from the rest of the writing IMHO... maybe change it to burns or something.
i'll see what i can do about the recording stuff. i'll try and see if i can come up with a new word instead of sucks.
yo reject....cool song im liking it a lot,i like the word sucks..i use it often in normal speech...lol but if your after finding a new word i guess..
"Lifes hard and it only gets worse"
just a suggestion like...
gaz
"people laugh at me because im different...i pity you..because your all the same"
