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Lyric/Song-Writing Don'ts?

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Scrybe
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Okay, since I started the 'fave lyrics' thread, and since I'm currently listening to Josh Ritter......

In my time writing, I've come to find some lines/references 'tired' or 'played out' - this is so you can list anything you think falls into that category.

The prompt was Joh Ritter doing "Peter and Paul" (I think that's what it's called). He sings a line "The keys to the kingdom got locked inside the kingdom"

Rythmically, it fits. Yeah. But such quick repetition? Come on man, work a little harder! The line sounds like the second 'kingdom' should either be a rhyme or something contrasting, but either way I don't think just repeating the word cuts it.

Any others?

I'll have a think about this one.

Ra Er Ga.

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geoo
 geoo
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A song writer should be VERY cautious of using the F bomb, the S bomb, the D bomb or any bomb that just doesnt fit. I dont mind it if it fits into the tone of the song but when it makes my radio beep too many times then I feel like it should have a purpose.

Jim

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


   
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Rob77
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I think succinct metaphors, not: "she looked like the autumn sky with yellow hair and etc etc etc etc"

I do love little catchy phrases like "Just because you're not paranoid, it don't mean they're not after you!' (Nirvana). :lol:

"Who says you can't 'dive bomb' a bigsby?!"


   
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coleclark
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any songs that has the term 'broken wings' hahaha :evil:

its a very fine line between whats 'heartfelt' and whats 'cliched' ... for example, when i listen to some damien rice songs the lyrics are hearfelt, but when i READ them they seem overly simple and corny...so i think the way they are sung makes a huge difference on teh feel. also if the WHOLE song is average and cliched or just one or two lines

then again certain songs but 'josh pyke' are very creatively written and others simple sound like ehs written them..gone over them with a thesaurus and replaced every second word with the biggest most complicated word he could find...

songwriting is tricky....and not ever the worlds best bands are perfect


   
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coleclark
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examples:

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3458764513820546762

the term 'cant take my eyes off you' is corny and overused...but works...

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858656778

great lyrics but i bit..wordy in places i find


   
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Scrybe
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any songs that has the term 'broken wings' hahaha :evil:

rofl, I was in a goth/emo band way back when and came very close to using that in a song. I had to change it to "dirty wings" instead. not much improvement, but sufficient to keep me temporarily satisfied.

songwriting is tricky....and not ever the worlds best bands are perfect

definitely agreed.....but sometimes a good rant about trite/cliched/appallingly bad lyrics can be educational for us.

that's my excuse anyway, and I'm sticking to it, lol.

Ra Er Ga.

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http://www.blipfoto.com/Scrybe


   
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Nick Torres
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Weather as a metaphor for a relationship.

If you want a crash course on bad lyrics, look no further than Bob Dylan. He has written some of the worst rhyming crap-ola ever.

If you want a crash course on brilliant lyrics, look no further than Bob Dylan. He has written some of the best stuff ever.


   
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Nathan080
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TBH Nick, I like your lyrics... nothing sweeter than hearing you sing about *ing people in the ... :D

Nath

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Dan Lasley
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I get tired of the "I want you, I need you, I love you" triplet, although Meatloaf's variant in "2 out of 3" was OK.


   
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Scrybe
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talking of bob dylan.......wiggle wiggle is all I have to say.

In fact, the entire of Under The Red Sky tends to leave me cold, lyrically. And musically. :roll:

Ra Er Ga.

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http://www.blipfoto.com/Scrybe


   
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Nick Torres
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Here is some Dylan stuff that makes me cringe:

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts

from Ballad of a thin man

and

He hears the ticking of the clocks
And walks along with a parrot that talks
Hunts her down by the waterfront docks

from Tangled up in Blue

But in the same song, TUIB, he has these incredible verses:

They sat together in the park
As the evening sky grew dark
She looked at him and he felt a spark tingle to his bones
It was then he felt alone and wished that he'd gone straight
And watched out for a simple twist of fate.

They walked alone by the old canal
A little confused I remember well
And stopped into a strange hotel with a neon burning bright
He felt the heat of the night hit him like a freight train
Moving with a simple twist of fate.

Go figure...


   
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Scrybe
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um, you mean Simple Twist of Fate, not TUIB Nick.

and it's para-de-tux. tsk.....

that reminded me of some dylan mis-hears I read a while back. From Time Out Of Mind there's one tune where he sings "My sense of humanity went down the drain." To this day, I hear that as "My sensitive manatee went down the drain"....after reading some article which claimed this was indeed the line and his recording in florida had had a profound impact on him.

But yeah, Simple Twist is one of my faves, awesome in most of it, love the ending and his delivery. But that section could have been tighter.

Ra Er Ga.

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http://www.blipfoto.com/Scrybe


   
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greybeard
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Don't ever nick anyone else's lyrics................

Or tunes.......................

I started with nothing - and I've still got most of it left.
Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in any dictionary?
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Nick Torres
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Of course I meant Simple Twist of Fate, uh, that was a uh, spelling error. :oops:

But as to the dead parrot...

http://bobdylan.com/moderntimes/songs/twist.html


   
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Scrybe
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Of course I meant Simple Twist of Fate, uh, that was a uh, spelling error. :oops:

Twice? lol, if I wasn't severely football-related-depressed right now, I'd laugh heartily.

I have to write a song called "I hate bloody Chelsea and Drogba is a total wuss who couldn't handle an all-girls preschool let alone a proper game of football, but he might do well in panto." Succinct, I know.

Ra Er Ga.

Ninjazz have SuperChops.

http://www.blipfoto.com/Scrybe


   
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