lyrics I wrote... tell me what you think pls

While I'm waiting i'll post more songs, please tell me what you think. I'm new to this. Thanks

JUST CANT BE AROUND YOU

V1
I cant do this no more – see you walk out that door
Then let you walk back in again
I've been a fool for you – like you wanted me to
Well here and now its gonna end

Bridge
Cos I wished that you would – and I wished that you could
Say you'll stay here for good – or just leave forever
Cos I really did try – hard to save you and i
I gave u so much time – but u cant make up your mind

And now I feel like I –

CHORUS
I just cant be around you leave me alone
I must learn to get by in life on my own
I just cant see u no more I don't want to
I must get over you

I just cant be around you im hurt too much
You've crossed the line too many times theres no trust
It feels so hard but its what I have to do
I need to get over you

V2
How could you walk away – you promised you would stay
I swore id never take you back
And here you are again – but I wont let you in
I learned my lesson for a fact

Bridge
Now I wish that you would – and I wish that you could
Let me live without you – just like I'm trying to
Cos you keep coming back – and your making it hard
So get outta of my life – cos your outta my heart

I cant help but feel I –

CHORUS

Bridge
I want you, I need you,
To let me, just leave you
You ruined it, now it is too late

Don't fight it, its over
Just let me, move on now
Don't need you, standing in my way

B3
Oh I wish that you would
Forget you ever loved me so
And I wish that u could
Erase me and just let me go

And I wish that you would, and I wish that you would, and I wish that you would

And I wish that you would
Move on just like im trying to
And I wish that I could
Erase all memories of you

And I wish that you could X4

But the way it is, I –

CHORUS

******************************************************************

MY TEARS HAVE FINALLY FALLEN

V1

Well I tried and tried to put you back in the past
But it didn't seem to work cos I'm still not over you
And I tried and tried to forget I knew you at all
But that didn't work either now I don't know what to do

B1
Cos not so long ago – I felt like I was free
Thought I was over you – so happy this could be
But then I felt so lonely – with no one to turn to
And even though I said I wouldn't cry – I shed some tears for you

Chorus
After so long, thinking that I could be strong, all my tears they finally fall
And I cant stop crying anymore now when I used to be able to hide it all
Now I feel so vulnerable and so weak when I never used to before
I am lonely thinking bout what could have been and I cant fight it anymore
My tears have finally fallen

V2
Well I finally see that I'm still in love with you
And I feel like all of these feelings wont ever end
I convinced myself that I didn't need you at all
Well I never really thought I'd be missing you again

Bridge
I feel so miserable – so hurt and so lonely
I guess that's why I cry now – cos I'm not really free
I've lost all hope of freedom – I've given up the fight
And even though you hurt me deep inside – I said id never cry

Chorus

Bridge
I guess I finally lost
This battle you have won

I just don't have the strength now
To try get over you
The hurt cant be undone

Chorus

***************************************

YOU'RE GONE NOW

V1
Sometimes I sit and cant believe
That I'll never see you again
I'll never hear you speak again
Cos its over

I knew that I was losing you
And it just ate me up inside
Cos there was nothing I could do
It was over, it was over

Bridge
I can't be where you are
Cos I'm where I am
And we're two worlds apart

Chorus
I wasn't by your side when you left me
I never even got to say goodbye
But I guess it doesn't matter no more
Cos you're gone now, you're gone now
(Say goodbye)

I was still in denial when it was clear
That soon I'd be living without you here
Even though I thought it would be a while
But your gone now, your gone now
(Say goodbye X2, Goodbye)

V2
I held my tears back for so long
But it all got too much to take
Cos I know I just cant be strong
Cos I miss you, I miss you

And that's how I will always feel
I know your watching over me
Still I wish you were here with me
Cos I miss you, I miss you

Bridge
I know you can see me
But I cant see you
And that's what makes it harder

Chorus

Oh goodbye, goodbye

Bridge
Until the day I die
I'll try hard not to cry
For you are with the ones
That you lost along, your journey through life

Chorus

V3
Sometimes I sit and cant believe
That I'll never see you again
I'll never hear you speak again
I'll never see you smile again

You'll find peace on the other side
And one day we will reunite
I know I'll have to wait a while
Till I am right back by your side

Your gone now (repeat to fade)

*************************************************

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO END IT ALL

V1
Everytime I think about it
I just keep asking questions
I have never asked why so many times

Guess I never really knew you
What was going on inside
Or the reason why you felt you had no choice

Bridge
You were so happy, when you were around
We were all laughing, guess you were fronting

Now I will never, know why you chose to go...

Chorus
You know you could've talk to me - you didn't have to end it all
I probably could've made it right - or helped you through those cold and lonely nights
Cos now I am still missing you - and worse of all I'll ever know
The reason why you had to go
Cos you know you could've told me what was wrong - you didnt have to end it all.

V3
Cant believe what's really happened
Never really did sink in
Wish you could send me a sign to help me find

All the reasons why you cried
Why you chose to end your life
Why you thought that you could never make things right

Bridge
I am so sorry, that i wasn't there
You were so lonely, thought nobody cared

I should've told you, you meant the world to me

Chorus

V5
You were so special, Too late to tell you
But i know you're happy

For you chose to go, Why i'll never know
But you're where you want to be

You know you could've talked to me
You didn't have to end it all

Cos now I am still missing you
And worse of all I'll never know
Why you really had to go

Chorus

Hi Elledee
Welcome to Guitar Noise
First things first you'll see this alot...The best way to get people to comment on your songs
is to comment on their songs. (though I haven't done this much at all lately myself)

Let get to your songs. First problems is, there is to much at one time.
you should really just post 1 song at a time, each as a new topic(song).
I think that is one thing that is keeping people from responding to your songs.

The first thing I want to suggest after skimming through your songs (this is just my opinion)
the titles to...

You're gone now...Why not...Say goodbye or Goodbye
That little phrase at the end of your chorus that I assume is spoken and not sung.

You didn't have to end it all...I like...I'll never know
Like I said above Just my opinion you can take them or leave them.

I do have a question are the songs all about one person?

I will try to give you some feed back on your songs as soon as I can read them all thoroughly.

u give good advice
:)

Hi Elledee..welcome to GNSW....see you have about six songs posted...you mentioned you have" tunes" for them...it would help me if I had an idea of what you intended regarding the flavor of the song..tone,beat,genre and even what instrument you had in mind..I really like to know what the author has in mind (their instincts are usually best) when they were writing it down...I,m looking for a brief description of the 'intended" musical idea that associates itself with the emotion of the lyric....if you could send those along I will get back to you,,cooker

Hey Elledee

Sorry it took so long for me to get back.

I like what you have to say in your songs and can personally identify with every one of them.
But I find it difficult to get a feel for the flow of the songs, in part because of the multiple bridges.
songs usually have one bridge, most have none at all.

These are some of the most popular song structures in commercial music:

AABA ------- (verse, verse, chorus, verse)

ABAB ------- (verse, chorus, verse, chorus)

ABAC ------- (verse, chorus, verse, bridge)

ABABCB --- (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus)

BABABB --- (chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus)

I hope this helps you a little.

Hey all

Thanks for posting back to me. Sorry for taking so long to reply, I was actually waiting to receive an email to say i'd gotten replies! ha ha

Cooker: I am intending on taking up guitar lessons and as soon as my songs are on the comp I will let ya hear them. Thanks for posting though.

Tokai: The songs aren't all about one person. Theyre about a few different people.

Can anyone comment on the other songs?

Trying to set up a geocities website at the moment also to post all my songs up on, as soon as thats done though i'll send the link.

Elledee
xxxxx

Elledee,,can`t wait.....think you have to "turn on" the email notification..not sure how tho...cooker