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lyrics I wrote... tell me what you think pls

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Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 4
Topic starter  

I'm new to this so please rate my lyrics. I have a tune for all my lyrics but unfortunately i dont play an instrument.....thats next on my list. I know it can be difficult to rate the lyrics without the music but tell me what you think anyway. Thanks:

I loved you when I met you at the start
You had a special place within my heart
But you mistook me for a fool
And made me see the real you

See the impression that you gave to me
Was that we had a chance at something real
Still I know you weren't sure if this could be
You thought you weren't good enough for me

I thought my insecurities
Were getting the better of me

But its you who's insecure
I don't need to be reassured
I don't know what game you're playing with me

You just keep walking away from my love
We could work this out but you're giving up
When I ask you, you don't say a thing
You just ignore me what am I to think

All of a sudden you don't want me at all
Then make me believe that it is all my fault
You just don't care what you put me through
The only one you care about is you

You don't seem to show any remorse
As each day goes by, it just gets much worse
I gave you chances all you gave was grief
You've lost the one thing that could've made you happy

When im alone i sit and think
Of how you seem to get underneath my skin
I'm amazed at how much you can get to me
Wish id wake to find it was all a dream

I told the world our love was true
That all I'd ever need was you

Now I am searching in vain
For someone to help me feel that way
The way I felt when you loved me and I loved you


Although you've made it clear
I've still tried
I just needed a reason why







Only one that I wanted was you – ye
No-one else could do the things you do – but
Just to make a really long story short
Everything has changed and now its over

I had tried so hard to try and mend it
Last thing that I wanted was to end it
Even though you knew I blamed myself
It clearly was your fault and no-one else's

Bet you enjoyed it though – seeing me hurt like that
Bet you're still smiling now – knowing I want you back
But then I sit and think – we'd never work things through
Cos see the problem is – cant stand the thought of you

I've never felt a hate for somebody
No nothing like the hate I feel for you cos
I don't like the way u mistreated me
Told me that you loved me then cheated me

I've never really cried for somebody
Cant even count the tears that fell for you
We shared a lot of love between us two
But everything has changed now I hate you, I hate you

Everytime I hear your name I feel a
Sudden rush of hatred cos I think of
Everything you ever did to hurt me
Cant believe I hurt for you for so long

Now that it is over I should move on
And I know I will I just cant let go
Knowing that you're just getting away with
Hurting me so much and just not caring

I know you loved me so – the same way I loved you
So why'd you hurt me so – and treat me like a fool
Guess that's all in the past – at the end of the day
But my opinion stays – and it will never change


All the time we spent together
Love was only on my mind
All this time apart from you has been killing me
Now its time to say goodbye

I wanna scream out loud at the top of my voice I hate you I hate you


Stress is when you wake up screaming and realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.....

Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 4
Topic starter  

While I'm waiting i'll post more songs, please tell me what you think. I'm new to this. Thanks


I cant do this no more – see you walk out that door
Then let you walk back in again
I've been a fool for you – like you wanted me to
Well here and now its gonna end

Cos I wished that you would – and I wished that you could
Say you'll stay here for good – or just leave forever
Cos I really did try – hard to save you and i
I gave u so much time – but u cant make up your mind

And now I feel like I –

I just cant be around you leave me alone
I must learn to get by in life on my own
I just cant see u no more I don't want to
I must get over you

I just cant be around you im hurt too much
You've crossed the line too many times theres no trust
It feels so hard but its what I have to do
I need to get over you

How could you walk away – you promised you would stay
I swore id never take you back
And here you are again – but I wont let you in
I learned my lesson for a fact

Now I wish that you would – and I wish that you could
Let me live without you – just like I'm trying to
Cos you keep coming back – and your making it hard
So get outta of my life – cos your outta my heart

I cant help but feel I –


I want you, I need you,
To let me, just leave you
You ruined it, now it is too late

Don't fight it, its over
Just let me, move on now
Don't need you, standing in my way

Oh I wish that you would
Forget you ever loved me so
And I wish that u could
Erase me and just let me go

And I wish that you would, and I wish that you would, and I wish that you would

And I wish that you would
Move on just like im trying to
And I wish that I could
Erase all memories of you

And I wish that you could X4

But the way it is, I –





Well I tried and tried to put you back in the past
But it didn't seem to work cos I'm still not over you
And I tried and tried to forget I knew you at all
But that didn't work either now I don't know what to do

Cos not so long ago – I felt like I was free
Thought I was over you – so happy this could be
But then I felt so lonely – with no one to turn to
And even though I said I wouldn't cry – I shed some tears for you

After so long, thinking that I could be strong, all my tears they finally fall
And I cant stop crying anymore now when I used to be able to hide it all
Now I feel so vulnerable and so weak when I never used to before
I am lonely thinking bout what could have been and I cant fight it anymore
My tears have finally fallen

Well I finally see that I'm still in love with you
And I feel like all of these feelings wont ever end
I convinced myself that I didn't need you at all
Well I never really thought I'd be missing you again

I feel so miserable – so hurt and so lonely
I guess that's why I cry now – cos I'm not really free
I've lost all hope of freedom – I've given up the fight
And even though you hurt me deep inside – I said id never cry


I guess I finally lost
This battle you have won

I just don't have the strength now
To try get over you
The hurt cant be undone




Sometimes I sit and cant believe
That I'll never see you again
I'll never hear you speak again
Cos its over

I knew that I was losing you
And it just ate me up inside
Cos there was nothing I could do
It was over, it was over

I can't be where you are
Cos I'm where I am
And we're two worlds apart

I wasn't by your side when you left me
I never even got to say goodbye
But I guess it doesn't matter no more
Cos you're gone now, you're gone now
(Say goodbye)

I was still in denial when it was clear
That soon I'd be living without you here
Even though I thought it would be a while
But your gone now, your gone now
(Say goodbye X2, Goodbye)

I held my tears back for so long
But it all got too much to take
Cos I know I just cant be strong
Cos I miss you, I miss you

And that's how I will always feel
I know your watching over me
Still I wish you were here with me
Cos I miss you, I miss you

I know you can see me
But I cant see you
And that's what makes it harder


Oh goodbye, goodbye

Until the day I die
I'll try hard not to cry
For you are with the ones
That you lost along, your journey through life


Sometimes I sit and cant believe
That I'll never see you again
I'll never hear you speak again
I'll never see you smile again

You'll find peace on the other side
And one day we will reunite
I know I'll have to wait a while
Till I am right back by your side

Your gone now (repeat to fade)



Everytime I think about it
I just keep asking questions
I have never asked why so many times

Guess I never really knew you
What was going on inside
Or the reason why you felt you had no choice

You were so happy, when you were around
We were all laughing, guess you were fronting

Now I will never, know why you chose to go...

You know you could've talk to me - you didn't have to end it all
I probably could've made it right - or helped you through those cold and lonely nights
Cos now I am still missing you - and worse of all I'll ever know
The reason why you had to go
Cos you know you could've told me what was wrong - you didnt have to end it all.

Cant believe what's really happened
Never really did sink in
Wish you could send me a sign to help me find

All the reasons why you cried
Why you chose to end your life
Why you thought that you could never make things right

I am so sorry, that i wasn't there
You were so lonely, thought nobody cared

I should've told you, you meant the world to me


You were so special, Too late to tell you
But i know you're happy

For you chose to go, Why i'll never know
But you're where you want to be

You know you could've talked to me
You didn't have to end it all

Cos now I am still missing you
And worse of all I'll never know
Why you really had to go


Stress is when you wake up screaming and realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.....

Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 122

Hi Elledee
Welcome to Guitar Noise
First things first you'll see this alot...The best way to get people to comment on your songs
is to comment on their songs. (though I haven't done this much at all lately myself)

Let get to your songs. First problems is, there is to much at one time.
you should really just post 1 song at a time, each as a new topic(song).
I think that is one thing that is keeping people from responding to your songs.

The first thing I want to suggest after skimming through your songs (this is just my opinion)
the titles to...

You're gone now...Why not...Say goodbye or Goodbye
That little phrase at the end of your chorus that I assume is spoken and not sung.

You didn't have to end it all...I like...I'll never know
Like I said above Just my opinion you can take them or leave them.

I do have a question are the songs all about one person?

I will try to give you some feed back on your songs as soon as I can read them all thoroughly.

Tokai 12 String

Don't you ever give up on yourself

Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 254

u give good advice

Join the fight to stop global warming...
Join the virtual march at:
We CAN make a diffrence!

Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 112

Hi Elledee..welcome to GNSW....see you have about six songs mentioned you have" tunes" for would help me if I had an idea of what you intended regarding the flavor of the song..tone,beat,genre and even what instrument you had in mind..I really like to know what the author has in mind (their instincts are usually best) when they were writing it down...I,m looking for a brief description of the 'intended" musical idea that associates itself with the emotion of the lyric....if you could send those along I will get back to you,,cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you just a little more love"

Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 122

Hey Elledee

Sorry it took so long for me to get back.

I like what you have to say in your songs and can personally identify with every one of them.
But I find it difficult to get a feel for the flow of the songs, in part because of the multiple bridges.
songs usually have one bridge, most have none at all.

These are some of the most popular song structures in commercial music:

AABA ------- (verse, verse, chorus, verse)

ABAB ------- (verse, chorus, verse, chorus)

ABAC ------- (verse, chorus, verse, bridge)

ABABCB --- (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus)

BABABB --- (chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus)

I hope this helps you a little.

Tokai 12 String

Don't you ever give up on yourself

Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 4
Topic starter  

Hey all

Thanks for posting back to me. Sorry for taking so long to reply, I was actually waiting to receive an email to say i'd gotten replies! ha ha

Cooker: I am intending on taking up guitar lessons and as soon as my songs are on the comp I will let ya hear them. Thanks for posting though.

Tokai: The songs aren't all about one person. Theyre about a few different people.

Can anyone comment on the other songs?

Trying to set up a geocities website at the moment also to post all my songs up on, as soon as thats done though i'll send the link.


Stress is when you wake up screaming and realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.....

Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 112

Elledee,,can`t wait.....think you have to "turn on" the email notification..not sure how tho...cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you just a little more love"