this is my first song how is it and b honest please
Romantic Desperation
Every day spent
Under a cloud of dark desire
Longing for you
But you just turn me away
In my Romantic Desperation
I have destroyed
Everything good and pure
I have brought this upon my self
Its like every smile
I manage
Is a fake, a lie for u
All I want
Is someone to love me
To understand me
Without having to say a thing
In my Romantic Desperation
I have destroyed
Everything good and pure
I have brought this upon my self
Its like every smile
I manage
Is a fake, a lie for u
In my Romantic Desperation
I like it
I think it is very good
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
wow u write songs about the same things as me!! i like it. very good :D
For a first song, it's pretty good.
I'm thinking the whole song is pinned on the phrase Romantic Desperation, because without it, it's just another old girlfriend song (and everyone knows how I feel about old girlfriend songs). Not sure how 'romantic' rejection is. Maybe it should be called desperate crush.
To make it better I'd use more imagery. Show, don't tell. My opinion.
