Pale French Light

Wow. Im not really sure what it has to say, but it must be something very powerful. I was moved by the complexity and the deepness of the lyrics. Impressive

Thanks for the reply! Does anyone else have any comments, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. :)

Great writing, very powerful and dramatic images, and something that is anything but ordinary songwriting. The only problem I have is that this doesn't sound much like a song to me, when I was reading it I thought it would sound better as a poem. Do you have any idea what kind of music you're going to set it to?

Very cool imagery used but I am having a hard time figuring out exactly what it is your talking about. I'd love to hear you expand on what the meaning of this is. What inspired this?

Thanks for the comments guys.

I was looking over my post and caught this statement: It's based on an experience made by someone very close to me. That's false. I meant to say, someone told me a story, about an experience made by someone very close to him. Sorry!

Shrunkenhead145- Lately, my songs are looking more like poems and sounding more like songs, and I'm not really sure why. But beleive me, all the verses and lines fit the rhyme scheme perfectly. And as for the genre of music, I think It'd be sung with just a piano. (I know this is a guitar forum, but I've been taking piano longer than guitar, and so I'm more experienced with it than I am with guitar, sorry!) I'm not really sure what genre of music you'd call it though, if I only sung along with piano. It's quiet, too, and not really what most people like these days.

Gmilam- Well, obviously most people wouldn't know what this songs about, and that's sorta one of the reasons why I write this way; so people can interpret the song differently. So they can let it mean what they think it means. But since you asked what the meaning really is, I'll go ahead and tell you.

This song is basiacally about a woman, who's had something terrible happen to her. Someone kidnapped her, expected her to be dead, and left her in an allyway. But she wasn't dead, she had the will to live, and did. I'm not sure if this story's absolutly true, but I'll take his word for it, I guess. This happened to someone's sister I know, she was in France when it happened, (hence the title, Pale French Light). She'd been taken, ridden on horseback, put in a garbage bag, and placed in an allyway. I thought about how crazy a person could be to do this.

Midnight splits white on cobblestone; pale French light
Quiet flames use air as oil; echo of a hoof- That line is really a metaphor for it being very hot outside.
Pebble wet with blood, beside a pretty garbage bag- Beside a pretty garbage bag, explains, you know, how a murderer thinks murder isn't bad. That's basiacally a crazy man's thought.
Brittle flies subtract their eyes from scenes like this
This verse is really just explaining the scenery, with the last line meaning that, even something as dirty as a fly can't look at whats happening.

Cold droplets trickle down the glass; ideal space- This line is the hardest to comprehend with, because you wonder, where does glass come in? Obviously, glass is a very clear thing. But when raindrops trickle down it, you can't see so well, unlike when there aren't any raindrops present. The girl is becoming weaker, she can't see so well, a metaphor for the girl becoming less aware, signs of not making it.
Feeble bones have been on back; near the livery- She's been carried by horse.
Palms staind white with wind, inside a pretty garbage bag- Now she's cold, the wind is blowing on her, kind of the opposite as the line, flames use air as oil.
Carbon process frozen once, but waken to night's fog- This line is just saying she couldn't breathe for a while, but soon she started again.

Wine stains art when Bogart finds a man- Wine, blood. They look the same but are two very different things. This kind of signifies she's confused, she doesn't know what to beleive yet, where she is. She's the art. She is beautifull, intelligent, but doesn't know why this wine is on her. It's not wine, but blood, and she needs to realize that.
The sidestreets daughter, shes been left behind-
Sing to horses, black eyes, blank stare
Carriage
Horses
Copper hair
Now she is starting to get it, she was on a carriage, on a horse, the murderer's eyes, his hair color.

Droplets trickle down her skin
Beads of liquid, small and thin
Feeble bones make echoed thuds
No more pretty garbage bags

She's out of the ally now, walking, limping, whatever, going down the street, in the dark. A couple of yards in front of her, she sees a street lamp. She goes under it. She has no more energy. Someone can see her there, under pale French light, while she rests.

Pale French light...

Ok, that was long. Sorry if I bored you! But that's what this songs about. Thanks for your comments again, guys.

Thanks for taking the time to explain that. It definately was not boring to read.

The imagery really hits home now that I know the story. The only comment I would make is I would like to see her being picked up or rescued under the Pale French Light. Or something like she is ok and leaves the Pale French Light. Something to let me know for sure that she is ok.

Thanks again for sharing the story.

Gmilam, I agree. I think I'll add something else, telling how she's rescued or saved. It seemed a little short, anyway. Thanks!

Ahhh i see know. You really have taken you time to creat something really impressive. Thanks for explaining it to us too, that really helped. Its a really good story which you based the poem on. It sounds like a good technique to use for songwriting. Might try myself.

Thanks, and keep posting!

I really really like. I've just started writing and im not very good at it (note my few songs ive posted) but seein something like that always inspires me to try harder. its really impressive. and I kinda like how you leave us with no resolve that shes ok. it fits your whole concept of being interpeted the way the reader/listener wants. leavin it open ended the reader/listener conclude what they want. And it gives way for a more dramatic ending than ooh yeah they all lived happliy ever after. Great Job

Micheal
:)

I know this thread has been in the back of this forum for a little while, and I know no one really ever replies to a topic once its not on the first page anymore, but I haven't been on for a while and I just wanted to thank the two others who replied to it! I'm sorry I bumped this thread back up; I just wanted to let Artistx13 and bleaseyhighflyer know that what they posted has made me quite happy. :D

Well, I'm pushing it to the forefront again ... so there. Totally digged this one man. I like that it's vague too ... what I thought was going on was not what the song was about .. but that's ok. I originally thought it was about a hooker in Paris. LOL .. I'm serious. That's just what I got from it after about 3 reads. I just had this vision of this beaten, bloody working girl in the Paris Red Light District ... working the corner as all these "proper" people pass her by and dismiss her as trash and a waste. And no one stops to help her.

Anyways, good stuff.

Personaly i think its excellent, I especially liked the fact that you did leave so much to the imagination, and its very metaphorical - thus it does fit quite well as a poem (which is another direction of writing that you could look into, because if it comes to u naturally enough that u write like that accidently and make it seem like sucha deep poem than u'd make a rediculously incredible writer.) I would love to hear this one, I like that its piano and slow, not many people appreciate that kind of music anymore but i definately do, i would love to hear it :) definately keep writing, lots of luck to u