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Pirate's Rum - New Lyrics

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(@rcsnydley1)
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Joined: 16 years ago
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Here are some lyrics I wrote last night.
The story behind them is that I was telling my 10 yrs. old nephew that rum is made from old pirates bodies packed in Oak cask with sea water and then fermented. You know, "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum."
I decided to write a song about it and here are the lyrics.

Pirate's Rum

Listen to a story, not many know
Take a sip of your drink now, let the rum flow
They sailed the Caribbean, brought fear to young and old
So hoist the Jolly Roger, skull & cross bones and gold

They put all their old bodies in casks made of Oak
Pour in some sea water and ferment

If you're brave enough to sail, the seas of long ago
You might see their flag flyin' and then you would know
Your life was in danger, your treasure is lost
They took all they found there, your life was the cost

They put all their old bodies in casks made of Oak
Pour in some sea water and ferment

You know pirates die to now, but their lives not a waste
You will appreciate it, if for rum you've a taste
Some make Pina Coladas, some mix it with Coke
Some think I am crazy and this is all a joke

They put all their old bodies in casks made of Oak
Pour in some sea water and ferment

Thanks for any input.

Ric

"I've got blisters on my fingers." - Ringo Starr


   
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(@rcsnydley1)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 59
Topic starter  

No one has any kind of input?

Ric

"I've got blisters on my fingers." - Ringo Starr


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

I think it's brilliant.
Just one typo though (I think)

You know pirates die to now, but their lives not a waste

now or know?
I'm not sure I understand this line.

It flows, tells a story, has imagery, and has good lyrics.

Here's something you might want to consider . . . the pirate flag with skull and crossed bones thing

You might see their flag flyin' and then you would know
a flag with a skull and bones that are crossed
Your life was in danger, your treasure could be lost

I liked it. Good job.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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(@rcsnydley1)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 59
Topic starter  

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Ken.
As to your question about the line: "You know pirates die to now", the word is "now". It means that when pirates die, as they do like everyone else, they are made into rum. Every time I sing it I wonder if that word needs to be there. I guess it's kind of a filler word.
I have tweaked the lyrics a few times before I posted it and may consider further tweaks. I'll try out your suggestion.

Ric

"I've got blisters on my fingers." - Ringo Starr


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Ken.
As to your question about the line: "You know pirates die to now", the word is "now". It means that when pirates die, as they do like everyone else, they are made into rum. Every time I sing it I wonder if that word needs to be there. I guess it's kind of a filler word.
I have tweaked the lyrics a few times before I posted it and may consider further tweaks. I'll try out your suggestion.
Ah so . . .
well then maybe rewording it this way?

You know pirates are no longer, but their lives were not wasted
You will appreciate them, if ever (some
or a bit of) rum you've tasted

Call me KR2 (too many Kens on this forum . . . and one is more than enough)

KR2

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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(@rcsnydley1)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 59
Topic starter  

Thanks, KR2. I'm sitting here with my guitar right now and I'll give that idea a try.

Ric

"I've got blisters on my fingers." - Ringo Starr


   
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