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(@psychohillbily)
New Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4
Topic starter  

Freak

Since I cannot go out to see the world i will make the world look at me
there are many faces that i wear which one should i let them see
do i show them my confusion when i lack faith will they think im weak
i guess i should just be myself let the world behold the freak

let me tell of when i was a child
and the demon who perched on my roof
how i prayed for jesus to save me
and was lost when i didnt see proof

too young for him to take me
too innocent for his power
he is still the reason at five years old
that my faith began to sour

i know him now by name
i must say it to keep him weak
he is the demon named addiction
that sinks his teeth into the freak

Since I cannot go out to see the world i will make the world look at me
there are many faces that i wear which one should i let them see
do i show my anger the outgrowth of pain
will they think i'm weak
i guess i should just be myself let the world behold the freak

i still recall every hollow year
i spent alone in my room
staring at the endless ceiling
of that en-darkened tomb

how i tried to sell my soul
to escape all time and space
i swore the devil was a coward
he had yet to show his face

a guitar found my hands
many times my chosen friend
it took years to make it sound like my soul
but now i'm ready to begin

so with all of my love
all of my hate
with every sin
that twists my fate

with all of the joy
all of the sorrow
with every broken dream
that carried me tomorrow

behold the freak


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(@coatbutton)
Active Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 14
 

You're very talented. I have goosebumps. One thing you might consider changing is the line "in that en-darkened tomb" It feels a little unnatural, maybe just use darkened. Other than that I can't think of any criticism.
-coatbutton


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