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Second Song

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(@floydthegolfer)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 55
Topic starter  

Hi all,

Thought I'd post this... not sure about it but its under review.... any help much needed!

Loving to Hate/Slipping

I love to hate you,
Everyday,
And I hate to love you,
All the time,

We're missing the point,
And we're slipping away,
And we're drifting apart,
Everyday,

I'm learning to live,
And I'm living to learn,
And I'm wasting it all,
All the time

We're missing the point,
And we're slipping away,
And we're drifting apart,
Everyday,

I'm slipping from you,
I'm losing my hold,
I'm feeling so empty,
Without you

We're missing the point,
And we're slipping away,
And we're drifting apart,
Everyday,

But now it's too late,
I'm lost without you,
I'm nothing at all,
Now you're gone

Cheers all,
Rob

"You got the heart kid... but you don't got the tools no more....."
"DRAGOOO!!!!!!!!"


   
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(@mysticmoonangel)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 166
 

Hi Rob,

you have some good lyrics but its hard to find a story.

I'm not sure if you hate or love the person or maybe both
when I read these lyrics I become confused, you need more detail
so I can see a picture. This could be a great song.

Keep on writing :D
Mystic :wink:


   
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 Mike
(@mike)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2892
 

I'm not sure if you hate or love the person or maybe both
when I read these lyrics I become confused, you need more detail
so I can see a picture.

I think that is the best part. Sometimes you don't know yourself and the thoughts flow through your head and you can't make sense of it but you know you love them and love can make you confused.

I like how it was written, Rob.

Mike


   
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(@floydthegolfer)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 55
Topic starter  

Cheers Mike,
That was the point of the song really, I wanted it to feel like a stream of consciouness kind of thing, a guy confused about either something or someone that he has regrets about. A guy who feels he's made an error somewhere, but isn't sure what's going on. I may tidy it a little, but yeah, I think the confusion was really the main theme!

Rob

"You got the heart kid... but you don't got the tools no more....."
"DRAGOOO!!!!!!!!"


   
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(@pierson)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 367
 

I thought it was great and well written. I liked the two different feelings because whoever may be listening to the song could relate to it more. Keep it up!

There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!


   
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(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 777
 

Hi Rob

I agree with MysticM'A a little here would love to know why we are drifting apart .. is it me or is it you ?????

I want to know more .....

What you have is really good as far as a beginning goes but I want to know more ??

L.K

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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(@floydthegolfer)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 55
Topic starter  

Ok, here is a possible alternative version, not sure which i prefer yet but let me know what you think!

Loving to Hate/Slipping

I love to hate you,
Everyday,
And I hate to love you,
All the time,

I'm missing the point,
And I'm slipping away,
And I'm drifting from you,
Everyday,

I'm learning to live,
And I'm living to learn,
And I'm wasting it all,
All the time

I'm missing the point,
And I'm slipping away,
And I'm drifting from you,
Everyday,

I'm slipping from you,
I'm losing my hold,
I'm feeling so empty,
Without you

I'm missing the point,
And I'm slipping away,
And I'm drifting from you,
Everyday,

But now it's too late,
I'm lost without you,
I'm nothing at all,
Now you're gone

Hows this one?

Rob

"You got the heart kid... but you don't got the tools no more....."
"DRAGOOO!!!!!!!!"


   
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(@nolongerme)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 475
 

I think its great!!


   
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