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Simple acoustic song i wrote

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(@aroundtheclaxon)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 127
Topic starter  

so, im only happy in my dreams
cuz they bring me to you
life is such a drag again
my failures are true
and if i could see your face
just one more time again
locking ur eyes with mine
do u remember when
how i would make u smile
how u would would make my night
how naive i was when i thought
i could give you rest of my life
will you still think of me
when he is holding you
would u still question my devotion
would u realize they truth

sometimes i still get that
when i remember you
how things could have
how much i miss you....

struming dududd or kinda close to it i cant really figure out my own strumming haha
chords go

D-Amin-C-G

each chord last for one line just work the struming to fit the words i guess

Head Arcitech at Vandelay Instudries


   
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(@ginger)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 393
 

That's pretty good. can I offer suggestion?

I'd break that first part into at least 2 verses use that last part as a chorus maybe and try to use different chords for chorus or use the same chords just mix them up so it sounds different.

sounds like your writing from pain.....oh some of my best work in times past...

Music is so good for expression.

you did good.


   
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(@1st_act)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 82
 

Cool stuff,

I'm gonna play around with it this afternoon...

Mike


   
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(@goodvichunting)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 326
 

Hey Man,

Real good stuff IMO.
Couldn't resist to change it a bit but good song nonetheless.

================

Life is such a drag again,
Im only happy in my dreams.

My failures are real,
and will I ever see your again.

Do u remember when I made u smile and you made my nights
I was naive, I could've given you my life

Would you still think of me, when he is holding you.
Would u still question me, when u see the truth.

O how I wish, how things could have been.
Im only happy in my dreams.
O, how i miss you....

Latest addition: Cover of "Don't Panic" by Coldplay
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=502670


   
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(@voodoo_merman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 368
 

Thats pretty melancholy. Good job. When you've got your final cut, make sure to record it and post it or youtube it so we can see how it turns out.

My version (Electric 12 bar Blues)
======================

Life is such a drag again,
Im only happy in my dreams.

'Said,
Life is such a draaaaaaag!
Im only happy in my dreams.

Ya see, my woman left me,
For an exotic dancer named Arlene.

======================

I like your version better... : )

At this time I would like to tell you that NO MATTER WHAT...IT IS WITH GOD. HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL. HIS WAY IS IN LOVE, THROUGH WHICH WE ALL ARE. IT IS TRULY -- A LOVE SUPREME --. John Coltrane


   
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(@dan-t)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5044
 

Don't know if you've seen it, but we have a "Guitar Noise Songwriting Club" forum that you should check out. You can post songs there for feedback. This will probably be moved there.
Dan

"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge


   
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(@ignar-hillstrom)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 5349
 

Seems a good start, the chord progression fits together excellently. You might want to start adding different 'blocks' of music, like a new chord progression for a possible chorus, bridge, musical intermezzo or whatever to add some variation. And record it! :)


   
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