Stone Cold Blues

Hey Preacher :D

Not bad for a (kinda) first attempt at writing - Especially from a 14/15 year old :D

Although it starts out dangerously close to a Zep song, and I detect a bit of Dylan at the end of each....
I really like it!

I mean, that's what the blues is about.... a sort of 'library' of phrases (both literal/verbal and musical) to borrow and learn the craft from.

There's a good story here.
Good job.

If you don't mind me saying;
there's some things about the second verse that could be tightened up a bit -

The line: She feeds her own born sons....
Something more like: She nurtures and cares for her natural sons....?
Or along those lines perhaps? :wink:

And maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not quite understanding the line:
You can't kill my words with my guns....?

Another suggestion - I'm stuck deep down, Delta country
And maybe dropping the 'cos' from the other's as well?

These are all just suggestions.... feel free to use, modify, or completely disregard them :wink:

Do you have any music for this?

Ken

Thank you Ken!
"And maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not quite understanding the line:
You can't kill my words with my guns....?"
I think I meant something along the lines of: "You cant silence my words with your guns." (meaning you can threaten me, but I will not be silenced)
I have an idea for the music, Im thinking mabe a traditional 12 bar blues I-V-IV progression. And the fills mabe a twist of Buddy Holly, and Robert Johnson.
Again thank very much.
-Preacher

Not bad for a (kinda) first attempt at writing - Especially from a 14/15 year old

I had to go back to the meet and greet to check....!

I'll echo what Ken said, there's a maturity here that's beyond your experience. I'm guessing you've listened to a LOT of Blues!

Ken's pretty much right on another point, too - there's nothing much in the blues these days that hasn't been done before. It's not the hardest genre of music to play, or write in - but it's not all that easy to sound as if you MEAN it! You've made a good start with this song, there's no reason why you can't go on and make a niche for yourself - your own little corner of the blues, so to speak.

Good luck Preacher, looking forward to reading - and hopefully hearing! - more.

:D :D :D

Vic

Thank you Vic. Yes I listen to a lot of blues... Because Im homeschooled, music plays a big part in my life. Not just blues though, Reggae, Rock, Country... Psycedelic Rock is a big influence in my playing. But I like to play these genres through an extremely lightly distorted channel, with a tad of chorus and reverb to give it a kind of fullness. Which I guess is my way of breaking away from my friends that play where their guitars sound like chainsaws.
Deffinately on reading more, but listening... Im having a lot of trouble writing something for this.
-Preacher

Its kind of my first attempt at writing lyrics.

How many times have I tried to go
How many times have I said goodbye
I've tried so hard don't you know
But I tell myself the same old lie
Like how I just love it here
And how your love can ease the pain
But I'm stuck inside of Chi-Town
With the stone cold blues again.

They say the South's like mother earth
She feeds here own born sons
But I know just what I'm worth
You can't kill my words with my guns
And now the night is drawing in
And I need to kill my pain
Cos I'm stuck inside of delta contry
With the stone cold blues again.

At times I've lived in New York
In the cold hard heart of the city
And all I get from everyone
Is bad advice and pity.
But now I'm back in Tennessee
And I think I'm going insane
Cos I'm stuck inside of Memphis
With the stone cold blues again.

I like it. I can hear this one inside my head, which is always a good sign, and it's got a real old-school flavour to it-kind of like Bob Dylan. With your description of your sound, it kind of sounds like Jimi Hendrix playing a Dylan song, if that makes any sense. (Which he did, he covered "All Along The Watchtower", but that's beside the point.) There's a real maturity to it that is very rare for anyone's first set of lyrics.

I like it. I can hear this one inside my head, which is always a good sign, and it's got a real old-school flavour to it-kind of like Bob Dylan. With your description of your sound, it kind of sounds like Jimi Hendrix playing a Dylan song, if that makes any sense. (Which he did, he covered "All Along The Watchtower", but that's beside the point.) There's a real maturity to it that is very rare for anyone's first set of lyrics.
Thank you kindly.

+1 this is really strong, and I'm not tempted to change much in it. A great job done. Does this mean we might be seeing you in the SSG shortly?

Love the line "You can't kill my words with guns" (I'd ditch the second "my" there, but the line itself is a definite keeper)

+1 this is really strong, and I'm not tempted to change much in it. A great job done. Does this mean we might be seeing you in the SSG shortly?

Love the line "You can't kill my words with guns" (I'd ditch the second "my" there, but the line itself is a definite keeper)
Thank you. its a possibility that Ill write something to go along with the SSG. But unfortunately writing lyrics has taken a bit of the backburner while an instrumental drives me insane... possibly when I go to the coast Ill get some writing in.

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I just thought of some music to go along with this!! I was reading through it. and it kind of sounds like Hoochie Coochie Man, or Mannish Boy by Muddy. I may have to record this.....

Great song. Nice imagery.

the only thing is as one of the previous post point out (not in the same way as i am about to) this is similar to Dylan.
As an overall style that's great but there is a very close resemblance to "Stuck inside a mobile with the Memphis blues again".
As you can see your last line is almost the same.

Maybe this is what you intended and maybe the tune will be totally different but its always good to know if someone can see a link from that far off. (I saw a connection from the first verse the whole way).

I dont have any suggestions i just wanted to make sure you knew.

Great song though.
I would love to see more

Michael O Toole

Great song. Nice imagery.

the only thing is as one of the previous post point out (not in the same way as i am about to) this is similar to Dylan.
As an overall style that's great but there is a very close resemblance to "Stuck inside a mobile with the Memphis blues again".
As you can see your last line is almost the same.

Maybe this is what you intended and maybe the tune will be totally different but its always good to know if someone can see a link from that far off. (I saw a connection from the first verse the whole way).

I dont have any suggestions i just wanted to make sure you knew.

Great song though.
I would love to see more

Michael O Toole

Thanks. Bob Dylan is one of my favorite artists, and I listen to him more than anyone I know. I only have two albums (Dylan, and Blood on the Tracks), so thats probably why I cant hear 'Stuck inside a mobile' in my head. I may have heard it on the radio, and it influenced the lyrics. As far as music goes, I was picturing something with a bit of Muddy, bit of Dylan, and a bit of Clapton. I havent been able to write any music for it because of other projects, but its been sitting in the back of my head.
With writing lyrics, I dont write unless I have a STRONG urge to write. And thats a rare ocasion. Im quite content to write instrumentals. :D