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Title Needed - NEW SONG!

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(@chrislever)
Eminent Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

I know what you've been thinking... Whatever happened to that kid that put up a few songs this past summer? Well, after months paper writing, test taking and student teaching I have returned! Hahaha just kidding, not about the tests, but it is good to be back and writing music again.

So I had to take a sabbatical for a while, to finish up college in Mass. This is the first song I've written in about 6 months and I would really like some feed back in order to help me get some of the rust out.

I have been thinking alot about relationships and more specifically long distance relationships and how the idea of someone suddenly being far away will change your priorities about that person. so I hope you like this and PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! give me some feed back. I'll try and get a Youtube video up ASAP. ALSO any suggestions for a title would be wonderful because I am drawing a blank on this one.

If it's any consolation
You can check the constellations
To see what I see
When I look in your eyes
And even though you have been hiding
I can tell you that you weren't lying
When you said
“I had the time of my life”

But it ain't no thing
Cause you ain't got no ring
And I'm not ready
To fall in love
You said “I've played that game
And it always ends the same
With me standing here
All alone”

And so there's no time for tomorrow
And I know I cannot follow
Cause you've got your things
And I've got mine
What we had might have be short lived
But I don't want to hear you thinking
That you were ever
A waste of my time

But it ain't no thing
Cause you ain't got no ring
And I'm not ready
To fall in love
You said “I've played this game
And it always ends the same
With me standing here
All alone”

And even though you may be leaving
It's my heart that has me screaming
Oh I love you
And please just stay
Maybe then you'd help me smile
And we can lay in bed a while
And I could hold you
Every day

And it no thing
But I just bought that ring
Cause I've already fallen in love
You said you've played that game
But this ones not the same
Cause you're my queen
And not a pawn

Chris Lever

www.Reverbnation.com/chrislever
www.youtube/chrislevermusic


   
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(@citizennoir)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1247
 

Hey Chris!
Good to see ya back again :D
I really was wondering where you had run off to....
as I do enjoy your songs quite a bit 8)

Anyway ~
The way I heard the song as I read it left me feeling like there was a hole in there....
With the recuring 'verse' theme of:

"But it ain't no thing
Cause you ain't got no ring
And I'm not ready
To fall in love
You said “I've played that game
And it always ends the same
With me standing here
All alone”

I didn't see it as a chorus, but rather a bridge of sorts that is crying out for a chorus to follow it;
Something short, snappy, and more rhyme-y (hope that's not too technical for ya.... :wink: )
Followed by a short 'breath', then into the next actual verse.

That's how I heard it, anyway :roll:

As for a title....
didn't come up with anything great, but was thinking - Checkmate
as that would imply the final 'capturing' of a Queen after playing 'the game' for so long.
As per -

"You said you've played that game
But this ones not the same
Cause you're my queen
And not a pawn"

It also reverberates with a certain 'soulmate' sorta vibe as well.

Thankx for sharing,
and again; Great to see ya!

Ken

"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway

"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles


   
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(@mysticmoonangel)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 166
 

:D
ain't no thing would be a good title


   
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