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Two random, 5 min songs I wrote down

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Rachel_Morgan
(@rachel_morgan)
Trusted Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 50
Topic starter  

Hey guys,

I jotted down some quick lyrics that came to me over the last two days. I dunno if I'll make a song out of them, but I've got them saved so i can go over them and see if i want to or not, haha.

Anyways, opinions are appreciated. :)

--------------------

Any Day Now

Everyday the sky passes over you,
Everday the cars start up and leave again,
Everyday you watch both,
Pass into the distance.
And the whole time your there,
You sit and wonder…

Its seems so lonesome here,
Without you by me,
To help to guide me.
With a smile, I remember you;
“you were always so cute when you were helpless”

(chorus)
Anyday now,
Anytime,
I sit and expect to see you on your way, flying home,
A pair of wings resting on your shoulders.

And Anyday now,
I swear I'll see you,
Driving up the front.
Running up to me on the front door step.
Don't wipe that grin off your face.

It seems so natural,
That you are late…. Again. (hah hah)
Death was destined to block your way.
Isn't that a common thing? That happens often in life.
I can almost hear the phone ringing again.

(chorus)
Anyday now,
Anytime,
I sit and expect to see you fly home,
A pair of wings resting on your shoulders.

Anyday now,
I swear I'll see you,
Driving up the front.
Running up to me on the front door step.
Don't wipe that grin off your face.

A lone phone rings in the house.
I pick it up without a sound.
What ifs can never be true now,
When the sun ca't shine on you…oooh no…

(chorus)
Anyday now,
Anytime,
I sit and expect to see you fly home,
A pair of wings resting on your shoulders.

Anyday now,
I swear I'll see you,
Driving up the front.
Running up to me on the front door step.
Don't wipe that grin off your face.

Anyday now,
You'll fly to me.
Anyday now, with those wings on your back.
Anyday now, you'll come and watch me.
Anyday now..I'll see you again…

(at this time, I doubt I'll go over and fix it. it was a pretty random idea)
---------------------------------------------

why do you think

(incomplete. missing everything except two lines of verse one, lol! xD I'm abstract!)
( Imagine rest of first verse here, haha)
And nobody else,
Listens like I do.

(bridge)
You can't see me ee-ee,
You won't see me eeee…

(chorus)
Why do you think,
The sky doesn't fall to the ground?
The sun in the sky keeps,
Shining somehow?
Why do you think,
That someone else
Is better for you than me?
Why do you think
Why do I think,
You neeeed me?

Standing in the rain is like a holiday,
The smell and the sound refreshing.
Rain can be tragic,
Romantic,
Sweet,
Standing out in it brings it all out of me!

(bridge)
You can't see me ee-ee,
You won't see me eeee…

(Chorus)
Why do you think,
The sky doesn't fall to the ground?
The sun in the sky keeps,
Shining somehow?
Why do you think,
That someone else
Is better for you than me?
Why do you think
Why do I think,
You neeeed me?

Every time I look around,
Every time I look down,
I can't find the right path
To you.
Every time I look down,
The world is spinning round,
You.

(Chorus)
Why do you think,
The sky doesn't fall to the ground?
The sun in the sky keeps,
Shining somehow?
Why do you think,
That someone else
Is better for you than me?
Why do you think
Why do I think,
You neeeed me?

(ending lines)
Why should I think,
You need me?


   
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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Hi Rachel ,

1st of all don't dismiss any song or anything in life for that matter that only takes 5 minutes to do. Some of the best songs in history only took a few minutes to write . You have the foundation for 2 good songs , its like planting a seed in the garden , with out watering and so on the seed will die , songs or ideas /inspiration are the same . Get the idea write them down , keep them .

2nd , get a book and write your litttle ideas thoughts down it might be just 2 litte words that someone one says , and I'll give you an example of that later . Songs are a story so you want to tell me a story as I am the listener / reader .

Here is a link to a song I wrote and played and a lady friend of mine sang it , and its about the girls on the game { I hope you know what that means .
But songs don't have to be deep and meaningful , they can be a bit fun ...

This is the very short version of the song the actual song goes for over 3 minutes , this was just to see what chords I had to play for Elles voice ...
But if I were you I would be keeping these and later on some time re-visiting them

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=490569&songID=5414744

Bye

Trev

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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lwj001
(@lwj001)
Reputable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 160
 

Howdy Rachel Morgan. If I "read" the first song correctly, somebody died:

It seems so natural,
That you are late…. Again. (hah hah)
Death was destined to block your way.
Isn't that a common thing? That happens often in life.
I can almost hear the phone ringing again.
Death was destined to block your way.
Isn't that a common thing? That happens often in life.

So, here's my rewrite for consideration:

It seems so natural that you are late again
I can almost hear the phone ringing to complain
Death was destined to block your way.
Isn't that a common thing since we're all made of clay?

Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/


   
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Vic Lewis VL
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

There's no such thing as random.....those thoughts were MEANT to be songs! (That's positive thinking....)

You know yourself, Rachel, you've got some good lines there....OK, maybe random in the sense that you've written them down as they occurred to you - but with a bit of spit-and-polish and a bit of fine tuning, you've got the basis of two good songs here.

Never think a song's fnished once you've got it on paper - think of it, rather, as a basis for negotiation. You've got a starting point - now how can you make it better? Can you get point across in fewer words? Can you add more imagery? Will the reader understand the point you're trying to convey? One question to ask yourself when you've written a song - "what would I say about this if it was someone else's song, and they asked me what did I think?"

I don't know if you've done much songwriting before - I know you're pretty new to GN. But the songs you've posted above definitely show a lot of promise - keep working at it!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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Rachel_Morgan
(@rachel_morgan)
Trusted Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 50
Topic starter  

lol, i'll start from the bottom up ;)

Yeah, I'm still pretty new. I haven't tried to write songs really befre the other month. I usually write poems or stories, but when it comes to songs, I've alwas been a bit stumped, so that's what i'm working on more now ;)

That's the way i've been looking at it for now. I just needto know yet what i want to fix it up with, so i put it in storage till it pops into my mind. :)
which can take awhile, i know that from experience (cough4yearlong storystillinworkscough)

LW: yup, its talking about death in that. the thing i messed up there with was she/he didn't know that's what happened yet. so i'll patch it up eventually :)

Barnabus:up, i'm going to revisit them eventually. i just need it to really hit me first...and more timee...i only seem to have five minutes, even thoug its summer. a singing competition coming up and a festival have me practicing a lot, or running around xD

thanks for reading them guys! :D


   
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