understanding

I don't have any ideas...(I suck at this stuff ;) ) but I would make the begining flow alittle better...aside from that its diffrent, its pretty good :)

not quite sure of where togo with this either.. i think maybe instead of making these flow in order.. reorder them andmake them verses.. that wayyou can write a chorus and a bridge and just add them in ;)

verse 1
chorus
verse2
chorus
bridge
chorus
verse 3
chorus x 2

just a suggestion if you feel you needed sructure i feel that wouldwork quite well.. good luck :)
Kathryn

:)

Thanks y'all

The word talented came to mind when I read this. You should not let this wilt and wither away. The ability to devote yourself and complete a song is the difference between being talented and being famous. Perseverence is essential. So do this incredible start some justice and figure out exactly what you are trying to convey and give this a chorus and/or bridge. Superb start!

Respectfully,
Psychohillbily

It's very good. I felt the rhyme scheme was especially strong. I agree with 7cooka that these would work well as verses.
- coatbutton

Thanks guys