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understanding


(@nolongerme)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
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Understanding pass me a note
Fortune turn thy wheel
Circumstances take my vote
Consequences make me feel

Opportunity give me a chance
History show your past
Love give me romance
Mystery solve me fast

Future plot my course
Reason fill my mind
Knowledge be my resource
Sight what can you find

Just a start of a song. Anyone have any ideas on where to go with this?


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(@rag_doll_92)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 261
 

I don't have any ideas...(I suck at this stuff ;) ) but I would make the begining flow alittle better...aside from that its diffrent, its pretty good :)

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(@7cookka)
Active Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10
 

not quite sure of where togo with this either.. i think maybe instead of making these flow in order.. reorder them andmake them verses.. that wayyou can write a chorus and a bridge and just add them in ;)

verse 1
chorus
verse2
chorus
bridge
chorus
verse 3
chorus x 2

just a suggestion if you feel you needed sructure i feel that wouldwork quite well.. good luck :)
Kathryn

*~*kitty*~*


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(@rag_doll_92)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 261
 

:)

Join the fight to stop global warming...
Join the virtual march at: http://www.stopglobalwarming.org
We CAN make a diffrence!


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(@nolongerme)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Thanks y'all


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(@psychohillbily)
New Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4
 

The word talented came to mind when I read this. You should not let this wilt and wither away. The ability to devote yourself and complete a song is the difference between being talented and being famous. Perseverence is essential. So do this incredible start some justice and figure out exactly what you are trying to convey and give this a chorus and/or bridge. Superb start!

Respectfully,
Psychohillbily


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(@coatbutton)
Active Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 14
 

It's very good. I felt the rhyme scheme was especially strong. I agree with 7cooka that these would work well as verses.
- coatbutton


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(@nolongerme)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 478
Topic starter  

Thanks guys


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