Untitled work in progress - by manontheside w/sketchy MP3

I found something new
I finally found myself
not thinking of you

This was my favorite part, I think it might flow better like this, up to you.

Finally,
I found something new.
I found myself,
Not thinking of you.

Finally is just a mouthful in the middle of a line, it all depends on how fast your gonna try to get through each line though so do whatever works.

Hi manontheside

I like this a lot so far, think it's gonna be a good song once it's finished :)

Just my 2 cents for the chorus, I can see you are talking about being stuck inbetween 2 places, one you want to go, the other you have been / don't want to go, and this got me round to thinking (somewhat morbidly) about the 'afterlife' (you'll see what I mean in a sec lol).

Here goes anyway;

Chorus
Where she is, is where I want to be
Where you are, that's where I've been
(Where I am, is stuck in this purgatory)

Literally what came into my head as I read it. Hope it's some help! :)

Pete

Thanks for the comments guys,

Dneck, when I sing it finally is dragged out a bit, the line should probably read more like "I finally found my-", I'm hoping to get something of a sketch up and running sometime, but I can only record from my laptop at the moment and I haven't tried it yet, so I'm not sure if the quality will even be worth it. But I'll try to give it a go and hopefully you'll be able to make it out :)

Pete, you're right, a bit more morbid than I was aiming for that. the suggestion however is exactly what i'm trying to say. The chords for the chorus aren't completely in place yet, I have a start, but as the lines progress I want to change it up a bit, so don't be afraïd to spend words

:)
-man

Hey MOTS,

I like it so far good stuff.

If I was to have go at the chorus something like this comes to mind:
Where she is, is where I want to be
Where you are, is where I've been
But this is where I find myself
Somewhere nowhere in between
It also alludes to the discovery idea in the verses.

Just my thoughts

Cheers

Paul

i like what Dneck did to this verse flows well

Finally,
I found something new.
I found myself,
Not thinking of you.

this area needs work, i dont know what it is, can't pin point it if i come up with anything i will let you know.
Prechorus
And my greatest fear - is my only hope
That my remedy - could be just like you

Chorus
Where she is, is where I want to be
Where you are, is where I've been
(Where I am, is somewhere in between)

mystic :wink:

Thanks for more feedback!

The chords are starting to come along now, I like your suggestion Paul, it fits like hand in glove. But I feel the line above could use some polishing.

"Where you are, is where I've been" - any way to say this in another way or something similar (preferrably sticking with "Where you are")?

I could record an unfinished version if anyone's interested

:)
-man

Added a sketch of what I have so far... recorded on my laptop (haven't gotten my bigbig dinosaur 'puter down here yet)

You can find it at my soundclick page, it's currently under the name "In between"

Kristian,

as always my friend, excellent work, I loved the mp3, well done.

Paul