:D Hello fellow songwriters/lyricists! I have been wandering around this site for some time now, checking out most of the departments and enjoying most, if not all that I found. There seems to be alot of creative and honest interaction between members......well here goes...
Heaven... for lack of a better title... V1, PreCh,Ch,V2,Inst,Brdg,Ch
Do you think that Heaven holds a place for a man like me
One who knows his wrong from his right
One who`s made all the wrong choices all along
One who just-hasn`t seen the light
And it doesn`t seem fair
And it doesn`t seem right
That Heaven would hold a place for me.....
But if Heaven holds a place for me
The best thing I could do
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
And give it to you
I still look up at the stars on a cold October night
Wondering why-why am I here
They`re so big and bright and I am so small
the answers are never really clear
Sometimes the answers to the questions I ask
Are much more than I can bear
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you care
All input is welcome in any way,shape or form..remember, if you find you don`t like it..you can print it and use it to start the woodstove!
You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"
Hi'ya
your song "HEAVEN " has a nice flow to me and tells a very good story ,
I liked it and have read through it a few times now and I can not see how you could improve on this . It's pretty good the way it is .
good writting keep it up
cheers
8)
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Hi, Cooker, and welcome to Guitarnoise.
It has a C&W feel to it and I think it could really be something. Do we get to listen?
Best,
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you care
I think you are speaking to God in this line....but "You" has referred to the audience person during the rest of the song. If it is God, then I think you'd need to say "I wonder why He cares"
Other than that, I think you have good song there.
Be Blessed!
Greg
I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)
Hey there gmilam....thanks for the thought..actually I wasn`t speaking to him..although I probably should have been..
I had a problem with the title...it`s misleading..but I couldn`t decide on anything better..you see the song is more of an apology to my wife....
I was contemplating past transgressions and the feelings that go along with them..guilt,shame,worthyness..and because my wife is the way she is..forgiveness..she has always allowed me the opportunity to admit I was wrong,which lead me to my pennance of giving "my place in heaven to her".. perhaps the song is a bit too esoteric.. thanks again..cooker
You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"
I thought it was more of an introspective look at self worth. I didn't pick up the wife thing, but that's ok. It definately works on both levels. I think the song is cool as it is, and takes on an even neater meaning once you explain it.
I think it's a good thing when different people can get different takes on it depending on where they are at.
Name ideas:
If Heaven Holds A Place
I Give It To You
I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)
Hi there again gmilam..You made rethink the title again..I liked both your ideas....initially when trying to find the best title I thought "If Heaven Holds A Place" was too long....but you have convinced me...I never thought of " I Give It To You"....
thx... this site and it`s members contributions are great! :) cooker
You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you care
when i read this line, it came to me as if you were talking about yourself. that the truth runs deeper in you than what meets the eye, and you wonder why your wife can still forgive you and care about you. but I don't know.
I liked the song!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
:)Hey there pierson...that`s about it.....my friends call her St. Vicki...!
thnx for the post...
You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"
