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(@molotovfolktale)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

Hey...I've been a musician for a long time but never had the inspiration to try my hand at songwritting until the past few months or so. I have trouble with leaving stuff out or jumping around a lot making things confusing. I do this when I talk a lot so it is probably the A.D.D. or something. Anyways...Today was a mess of confusion for me and it inspired what follows. If you have any pointers I'd gladly appreciate any positive or negative feedback as long as it is helpful. If this site proves helpful and welcoming you'll see me around quite a bit probably. Later...

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For the first time in my life I feel alive,
Even through the happiness, sadness still thrives
You give me strength, you give me hope, you're what makes a friend true
but I'm still afraid, afraid of the way I love you

I'm so confused and hurt, it's killing me inside
It's so hard being me, I feel like I'm losing my mind
I wish I could turn off these thoughts so they wouldn't invade my dreams
cause when I wake up in the morning, my heart screams

I hate that I love you
I know it through and through
Who can I talk to
I don't have a clue

I hate that I love you
Wish the pain would leave soon
Please tell me what I can do
I wish I knew (repeat 2 more times and end with fadeout type thingamajigger...for now anyways)
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(@saber)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 350
 

much tired, hehehe.

It would help alot if you broke this up differently
Tap your foot while saying this outloud. Like beatnik spoken poetry.
Each line should get two taps. ...I think.

For the first time in my life
I feel alive,
Even through the happiness,
sadness still thrives
You give me strength,
you give me hope,
you're what makes
a friend true
but I'm still afraid,
afraid of the way
I love you

Your brain should be able to recognize incongruencies in the sound. Just play around with it until it feels alright.

"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell


   
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(@molotovfolktale)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

I don't know what incongruencies means. I'm a very simple person. :) My vocabulary is simple also. I don't even know anything about music(in technical terms). I just feel it and play it. As far as the rhythm though. I made up the lyrics and music as I was going so the rhythm is there you just can't see it because I don't have a clue how to seperate it in writing. hmm...Unless that is what your helping me with...sorry man...I have no idea what you're telling me. :) Now I feel a little akward but oh well.


   
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(@saber)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 350
 

I apologize, yo.

Incongruences just means that it will sound off. If it fits properly to a beat and music already though, then your basically set. Post a recording when your done :D

"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell


   
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(@molotovfolktale)
Active Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

not a problem...and if I ever get back to a recording setup again I'll post it. I'm traveling around right now and all I have to record on is a little tape recorder for new ideas so it sounds really raw. That and I don't have the confidence in my singing like I have in my playing. I'm working on it though. It's new to me.


   
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