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Whats the real truth?

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(@country-t)
Active Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 7
Topic starter  

A song written in Spain this week.
THE WHOLE TRUTH

When they take away the medicine,
What will you do then?
If all your dreams came true,
Then what would you do?

Would you invent something else?
Something else to take its place.
Of all the mysteries of the universe
What would you want to know first?
chorus
To run sometimes makes more sense
You couldn't stand the consequence
Stuff all you can in a suitcase
You're never coming back to this place
Bag up the memories as well
Im never gonna kiss and tell
Whole lies and nothing but the truth
2
When the magic has disappeared
Through the haze, you see things clear
All the combinations become one
you can't remember the reasons

Would you look for someone new?
Someone to take care of you
With all the mysteries of the heart
Where would you want to start?
chorus
To run just sometimes makes more sense
You could'nt stand the consequence
Stuff all you can in a suitcase
You're never coming to this place
Bag up the memories as well
I'm never gonna kiss and tell
Whole lies and nothing but the truth
whole lies and nothing but the truth. Country T


   
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(@country-t)
Active Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 7
Topic starter  

I think its deadly


   
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(@marquis)
Active Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 9
 

Hey Country T...

Good work. I like the progression to the lyrics. Exploration of a lame love. (My interpretation.) But you have some really great stanzas/verses in there. I particularly like the first (take away the medicene), and the fourth (would you look for someone new). Great rhyming and cadance through the lyrics.

I guess I would be very interested in hearing the melody and organization to the music you have in mind. This is a fantastic start.

Constructive criticism: I might be reading it incorrectly, but the chorus doesn't seem to thematically emphasize the verses...which (again, my opinion) is what it is suppose to do. Just kinda re-stating them. Perhaps rework it a bit? Or maybe ditch it altogether and just write a couple more verses? I enjoy songs like that...put some spot in for soloing, spacing out?

Finally, I really like the "kiss and tell" line. Seems to me to be more towards what the title should be? Or at least, keep repeating that at the end. It reads well.

Anyway, my two cents. Hope you get some more feedback. This is one of the better songs/lyrics I've seen written out.

"Music heard so deeply that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts." -T.S. Eliot-


   
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