Your Love

Hey I really like these lyrics. They feel classic, they are simple in a good way like the beatles. They really sing themself also.

Hi BarnaBus Rox. Here's my edit, for suggestion only. A great song with a sensible message.

Your Love

Don't give your love to strangers
Honey, don't give your love away
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say

When I was a young girl
My mama took me aside
She said love is a pearl
That grows deep inside

Love and lust are different
Happiness is hard to find
Time must be well spent
Mistakes you can't rewind

Don't give your love to strangers
Honey, don't give your love away
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say

Many boys will chase you
And that's just fine with me
Honey, I'm here in case you
Don't find happiness you need

Keep your love for the future
For in time dear, you will see
Love that's true and pure
Is a reward of your honesty

Don't give your love to strangers
Honey, don't give your love away
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say

Hey Trev, I agree with Dneck, your lyrics so have a kind of simple-classic feel, and just reading it I found myself humming along, so thats a good sign! :)

I like lwj001's edit, as it feels like a more fleshed-out song; that said, it loses some of your version's simplicity, which could detract from the song, as some of the messages are changed / lost in the change.

Good writing Trev, and good to see you're still moving forwards with your writing.

Pete

Hey thanks guys for the feed back ..

I have been very pre-occupied lately and have not even looked if there were comments left { sorry }

lwj001: wow man I love what you did

Dneck: Thanks , I might try and do a recording when things settle down here ..

Pete : thanks mate for the comments and I m sorry I have not replied to , too many songs lately . Family things happening here I'll get to it though :( sorry

Thanks every one

Trev

Trev
Fundamentally a good song, well done. My only suggestion is in the chorus
Don't give your love to strangers
Honey, don't give your love away
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say
I'm not that fussed the second line, for me this line plants an image that her love is some type of commodity that should be sold and not given away, especially to a whole lot of strangers. I don't think that that was your intention but that is the idea that was seeded in my head (the power of a lyric). I think if you tie this line back to the first line, in a tighter way then a different meaning comes across. For example:
Don't give your love to strangers
Honey, don't throw your love that way
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say
Just my tuppence worth.

Cheers

Paul

Thanks Paul ,

for me this line plants an image that her love is some type of commodity that should be sold

No not what I meant at all and it didn't read to me like that until you mentioned it . Funny how something reads to one person and not another ...

After reading your reply I came up with this :

Don't offer your love to strangers
Honey, don't throw your love away
In love there are many dangers
Honey, now listen to what I say

Hey Trev,

yeah I like your edit on the 2nd line. I do think your original 1st line
Don't give your love to strangers was fine and I wouldn't change that.

cheers

Paul

Thanks Paul

:lol: