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A guitar player and Dear Abby

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Letter from a professional guitar player to the "Dear Abby" help column in a newspaper.

Dear Abby...

I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called she gets evasive.

Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way.

I once picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said "sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if she comes into the venue and who she comes in with". He agreed.

Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other three.

Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a technician?


Very Concerned.

..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ .·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´ -:¦:- Elecktrablue -:¦:-

"Don't wanna ride no shootin' star. Just wanna play on the rhythm guitar." Emmylou Harris, "Rhythm Guitar" from "The Ballad of Sally Rose"

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

"Everybody got to elevate from the norm."

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Well played.

Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 309


My Band:
playing whilst drunk is only permitted if all band members are in a similar state!

Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 6348

when my left hand itches
I'll get some money for sure.

when the tube doesnt glow
means she's cheating
for sure.

Prominent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 938


I've had a lot of sobering thoughts in my time.
It was them that turned me to drink.

Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

even god loves rock-n-roll

Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1106

So, how did Dear Abby respond?? 8)

Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
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:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

"A child of five could understand this...send someone to fetch a child of five !"--Groucho Marx

Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 7833

Dear Concerned:

First try unplugging the amp, letting the tubes cool, then slide that tube in and out of its socket for a while, er, kinda like honeymoon action. Get your wife to help, might cause some sparks. If that doesn't work, get some Caig De-Oxit and give the socket clips and tube pins a generous shot and plenty more sliding action. No joy? Replace the tube. You just might find more satisfaction in a perfectly matched pair. Be sure and get the bias set just right. Can't get things working with the wife? Might have to replace her, too. Careful about going for a matched pair. That doesn't work nearly as well as with tubes. Do be sure to carefully check bias before installation of a new wife; this is even more important than with tubes. Break in lovingly, with a long gentle warmup. Keeping one on standby while the other is still in service is NOT recommended and will void all warranties. It may cause collateral damage that can result in loss of ALL of your gear. And it is definitely not advised to try swapping wives to see which gives the best "tone;" catastrophic failures are far more common with new ones than with ones that have been in place for a long time, though they may tend to give somewhat reduced output after a while. Reliability counts for a lot, though.

If you work it right, hopefully you'll soon again be experiencing that sweet warm glow from both your half stack and from your stacked better half.


"A cheerful heart is good medicine."

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:D :D

Most amusing - and ditto for Richochet's clever reply.... 8) 8)

Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5044

:lol: Very funny! :lol:


"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge

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:D :D :D


Eminent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 25

Gee,such a sad ending! lol

Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 1735

Ricochet, that was pretty funny, too. :-)

"Nothing...can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."

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