The dog will help you, I know my dog was a big help for me, dogs are always good company. I Know what you mean about the house repainting and all, I had for a long time left the nails on the walls wear all the pictures were and it just kept reminding me, had to take them out and paint over them, Just try very hard to not think about her and for me playing my guitar realy helped my ex always complained about me playing I have learned more now that she has left, I also felt bad about myself why would she leave but when her son came over and told me I was a good person that realy helped comming from him. Take care and good luck to you.
Wow, just read the post and the pages of replies. Dave, when I first read the part of your post I was bummed. But when you ended the first paragraph with "Two weeks later I saw/caught her in the act at her new place," I wanted to choke your ex! :evil: I'm a very mellow dude but that would be the last straw.
I got back from serving in the Army in Bosnia on a six-month tour. I didn't ask to go but I was assigned to do my duty. Wife and I wrote back and forth over that time and video-conferenced on Sundays. I get back to the U.S. and 3 days later she wants a divorce. Guess livin without a man (my 4-year-old doesn't count) for that long drove her to cyber space dating sites. So she found a guy and had been conversing with him via email and phone.
I had to live with her for another six months before I got out of the Army. It's tough to live with someone you despise and have to endure the phone calls and staying up on the computer until 2am. I think, in retrospect, I wish she would have just moved immediately to go be with the dude she met on the 'net.
To top it off, I had to move her junk via a moving truck from Upstate New York to Kansas. It was on my way to Colorado. I park the truck and tell her to get her boyfriend to unload the 9,000 lbs of her stuff. I guess he had something better to do that Friday night. She got in the car and said she had to go to the store. She was gone for 2 hours so I figured she went to meet this guy.
After my guess, I did unload all her stuff. Via air express. Yep, every box, package and item got thrown off the truck. I was a bit mad and felt used. At least I didn't "air express" any of my son's stuff because he had nothing to do with it. So she got back "from the store" and I could tell in her face she went to see him.
I said goodbye to my son over many tears and took off in that huge moving truck. I get to a gas station about 20 minutes away to get some pop. I see a huge map on the wall so I went up to it. I know what street I unloaded her stuff and the street her boyfriend lived on (he sent letters, remember?). I was pissssssed. She moved 2 blocks away from the guy! I floored that moving truck back to the scene and told her off something aweful. And, my exit for the day was jumping off the 2nd floor balcony just to get away from her in my disgust (No, didn't hurt anything, landed like a cat).
So that's my story. Not as crazy as what you endured, but I struggled with divorce and so many things associated with it for awhile. I started drinking alot to kill the time and that's become a habit to this day. But It took me about a year to get over it all and actually be really blessed to NOT be with her. The one thing I miss is my son. Five hundred miles is a long way away. I'm much more disposeable income without her and that's even while paying sizeable child support. I have much more free-time and less bogus to deal with. By the way, my learning guitar was only available because I had the free time and money. So had all this not have happened I would never have come to this site.
Dave, I hope you find something deep inside to bring yourself up. I truly do. Can you keep us posted on how you're doing from time to time? I'll be interested to hear from you. Finally, remember there are plenty of other women out there who are as good or better than your ex. All in due time.
"Nothing...can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."
Glad to hear you're making some good decisions Dave.
"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge
David I'm sorry that you have to go through this hard time. I'm glad to see that you're taking steps forward though (the dog). Keep it up, there's light at the end of that tunnel!
Gun control is using both hands!!!
good to hear of your progress. i think you are doing the right thing cleansing the place of memories with the facelift and the new girl in your life. keep on keepin on brother, and remember we're here for ya. :wink:
Very moving post from Corbind.
Strange how so many of us, who consider ourselves to be reasonable people, seem to have had similar experiences.
Makes you wonder doesn't it. How things have changed. In times gone by, man was the hairy hunter gatherer, with his woman at home in the cave looking after the children. Women were quite happy to have the man look after their needs in terms of food and protection. And that was it.
Women now, have their eyes opened by the Cosmopolitan reading brigade. Yeah, you too can have multiple partners, a fantastic job, have your kids at 40 ladeez, its your life, stuff the men, what do they know?
Society generally seems to have lost the ability to encourage a true partnership between people that lasts - and society is all the sadder for it. Look at advertising, its nearly all based on beauty / sex / getting something you haven't got. Its very SHALLOW.
I have the utmost respect for anyone on here that's bared their soul and admitted to being broken up by a relationship that went wrong. It is good to share these stories, its very therapeutic.
Anyway, that's my bit, good luck to all of you, be strong!