Sorry, I don't know if this is the right forum to post this in. It seemed the best choice, but if it belongs somewhere else, can a mod move it there?
How do you deal with the fact that no matter what you do, or how good you are, there's gonna be a lot of people who don't like your music and a lot of people who even hate it?
I can deal with people not liking what I play on the guitar, because I can play many different styles of music (or at least attempt to), so I can play something I know people will like no matter who I'm around. But when it comes to singing, I am very shy about it, because I can't sing in any different styles, I only have one voice, and it's a very esoteric voice. Kind of like Peter Gabriel meets Dave Matthews with a little Jeff Martin from The Tea Party mixed in. I cannot sing hard rock or metal at all, not in the slightest bit, I can only sing soft music or alt-rock.
But I need to get over my shyness some how, because it not only prevents me from singing around people, it prevents me from singing even when I'm alone, because I remember that everyone I know laughs at all the singers I look up to that inspire me.
Another question: Can you learn to sing hard rock and metal? (And I have read all the singing lessons on this site, and many many articles by voice coaches and stuff online, btw, so I don't need links, I'm just curious as to your own experiences)
As to yoru first question: Screw them. You can't please everyone, don't even bother trying it. They don't like your voice? Too bad. Just be yourself, do your best, and with some luck atleast one person will apreciate it.
Interesting question.
I'm with Promedics - no matter what you play, there is always going to be someone who doesn't like it, but it's their problem not yours.
Best,
A :-)
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Turn the thought around - so long as a few (or more!) people like what you're playing, then the others don't matter. Yes, you want more people to enjoy your music, but you'll never get them all, or even a large percentage.
Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with making adjustments to your music to appeal to more people, just don't change so much that you are no longer enjoying what you do.
-Laz
All good points. I wish I subscribed to the "screw the people that don't like you" system of musicianship (is that even a word?), because it'd make things a lot easier. lol
And really, if one person liked my music that'd make me happy. I'm just one of those unfortunate people who could be playing somewhere, and everybody's digging it, but one guy who hates it would totally screw me up. The music I make is not rock or metal or punk, which is the only music people my age listen to around here, so it's harder to actually perform in front of people because it's more emotional and serious to me than metal or punk is. (Not that metal or punk isn't serious or emotional, just that it's emotion is usually anger, and it's easier for me to go have a fit of anger in front of people than it is for me to essentially cry and be sappy and emotional in front of people, which is what my music is like.)
I know... I'll find a hot female singer to sing with me, that way everybody will be looking at her, and I'll turn her mic up high and turn mine down low, that way they'll hear better singing. Lol
I know... I'll find a hot female singer to sing with me, that way everybody will be looking at her, and I'll turn her mic up high and turn mine down low, that way they'll hear better singing. Lol
That's what I did! ;D
-Laz
If it helps, I don't think that most people sign on to the "screw the people that don't like you" bit. For whatever reason, a lot of people find it easier to not like something, for whatever reason (and most reasons have nothing to do with the object and everyting to do with the person), than to like it.
My best friend descibes my voice as "an acquired taste" and he means that, truly, in a kind way. There are some things I can sing well and some things I shouldn't try no matter how tempted.
If you give the best performance you're emotionally capable of (and emotion almost always counts for more than talent) and if you realize there's no way you can please everyone, you've done everything you can. You sound like someone who's constantly looking to improve and that's great.
But you're never going to be happy with your performance if you think that everyone is going to like it. And if you're not happy with your performance then it's going to suffer and even more people aren't going to like it.
So enjoy yourself and don't worry about "screwing the people that don't like you." Don't even put them in the picture.
Hope this helps.
Peace
I've heard David sing: "an acquired taste" I'm still laughing it! It describes David's voice well if you actually stop and listen to only his voice. However, behind the voice is the emotion and the music: Because of all that, David is a great singer.
I don't like my own voice and after 20 some years, I'm still trying to get used to it but people, Americans especially, keep telling me I've a great voice.
So you see: there's no easy way around it. I suggest you find the pleasure in singing. In singing, as in playing the guitar, forget the notes and the words (not litterally, of course) and become the song. Your performance becomes a life experience and it's usually flawless.
As for people not liking your music: so what? I've mentionned it before: the person who sells the most records is Bethoven. More than Celine Dion and whoever else you care to mention. But back when Bethoven was alive, only a very few people actually liked some of his music.
As for people like Celine: the general public do not like her music: because of all the publicity backing her, they just think they do: they don't stop to listen and digest it. And anyway, 100 years from now, nobody will remember her. Or Michael Jackson or Madonna or Britny or...
Sorry for the long post. Basically, as long as you enjoy what you do and work very very hard at it, everything else will fall into place. Believe in yourself and don't pay attention to defeatists and others who say your music isn't worth it. And sing, sing, sing and have a good time at it!
Would Elvis Presley have ever made a name for himself if he had listened to those who senselessly critcised?
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I get what you guys are saying... I think getting some real voice lessons might help my confidence. I've never had real voice lessons.
And I think my voice is also an "aquired taste", as you put it... People who can't sing say I'm good at it, but real singers just say "aww, that's cute" like they would to a 9 year old trying to benchpress 200 lbs. Lol
But hey, the guy from The Flaming Lips is a terrible singer, maybe the worst singer out of any professional musician that I know of, but I really like the way he sings for some reason.
Music is an art form that allows individuals to develop their full creative potential. Singing expresses human feeling with all its shades of intensity and quiet, expansion and withdrawal, movement and rest.
A successful performer anywhere in the world today needs to be versatile and have the ability to work in all ranges of styles. Creative skills in playing guitar, singing need to be matched with intelligence, creativity and the ability to reflect on all aspects of the world and enhance the quality of human life.
Right here we have the skills and experience to help you become the best that you can be!
The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond our wildest dreams.
What I'm saying in so may words is Don't let others bring down with their negativity. Usually when people do this their either jealous or covering something up.
Joe
For what it's worth:
Prince was booed off the stage when he opened for the Rolling Stones
Elvis Costello got booed at UMass before he even sang a song, just because of the way he looked
BB King got booed in Maryland to the point where he started crying on stage & he was 40 yrs old then Â
Bob Dylan got booed at the Newport Folk Festival for going electric.
The Beatles had their records burned.
Do you know what I do when my kids start sticking their fingers in their ears when I play, either I leave the room or they do. Â If you play/sing what you want at least you know one person will be happy. Of course, it never hurts to know your audience ;-)
Those are some sad stories PORR. :'( It seem absurd that audience would do that to such good musicians. And they did that to BB when he was 40. ::)
"Nothing...can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts."
If you find a good singing teacher you could be taught to sing in any style, probably need to be a good teacher though.
Work for perfection everyday, everyday you will get closer
Ziggy
Here's something I use to do just see the look on everyones face's..lol
Play this G chord make it sound as pretty and sweet as you can.
Get a nice strumming rhythm going. let it ride for a bit.
let them think their getting the song of their life. because they will be.
E|---|---|--4|---|---|---
B|---|---|--3|---|---|---
G|---|---|---|---|---|---
D|---|---|---|---|---|---
A|---|--2|---|---|---|---
E|---|---|--1|---|---|---
Then keeping the same fingering and slide it up to the 9th fret and Strum real simple 1,2,3,4 and start singing out of key. that chord on the 9th makes the most god offal sound doing that. Now before they start throwing bottles, start playing your best song with everything you got, put your heart and soul into to.
I bet they never say another negative thing again. If fact I'll bet they'll give you a standing ovation. And other guitar players will be asking how'd you do that how you do this, wanting to know what you were playing.
Don't say a thing, Just sweetly smile and walk away.
Joe
