Philosophical Question

Simple: You join under the conditions that the band will not play any gigs during that period and will actively seek new members. After a certain period of time you will leave if they haven't found anyone by that time yet.

join now, worry about it later. you can only stand to get better.

If you plan on quitting then dont let too many ties develop. Dont start being like great friends with all of them and stuff. Leaving a band of good friends (or kicking a good friend out of a band) is one of the hardest things i've had to do personally. But yeh, good luck. Id say play with them a bit. Why not?

I've been in these situations and unless you are a very straightforward talking person then you can get into situations that leave you feeling awkward and uncomfortable. My personal advice is to set an actual date, dont just say a few months or whatever but a definite date that you remind them of regularly, this leaves nothing uncertain. In the meantime you might find you actually enjoy it and learn a few things.

Lee

Thanks folks. I will join, but before I do I'll ask how long they believe it will take to find someone else. I'll add a couple of weeks to the date they give me, and set the date that I'm leaving.

This is mostly struggling with myself, but any input is appreciated.

First, some background. I am in a band, and we play mostly what I would consider blues rock. This is the stuff that I grew up on, and that I love. I've jammed with cover bands (classic and new rock), did some folk music for a while, and have played a lot with my brother who is probably the most versitile musician I know (everything from Irish folk tunes to early 80s metal, on just about any instrument that goes with those genres). I'm mainly a rhythm player, but I can fumble out a lead if I need to.

Now a friend of mine is looking for a replacement guitar player for a thrash metal band. <B>I don't listen to the stuff much myself, unless it comes on the radio. I don't dislike it, but it's just not my thing.</B> He has asked me to play until they find someone they like that meshes well with his band. I sat in with them and played some Slipknot, and apparantly they liked what I was doing with it. <b>Here's the rub: I don't mind helping out my friend, and I certainly don't mind having the oppourtunity to jam, but I don't want to be stuck playing this for a long time if they can't find someone else. </B> I told him I wasn't sure yet, and that even if I did that my current band comes first. <B> I'm just not sure if I should go this route. </B> I wouldn't be practicing with them until after Thanksgiving, so I have a few days to make up my mind and sleep on it.

Alright, I got it off my chest. Now I feel better :)

From everything you've said it sounds more like you are just looking for someone to agree with you that this isn't the right thing for you and validate what you're already feeling.

It's tough to say no to a friend, especially when they are in a jam, but if he's really a friend he'll understand this kind of music isn't your scene.

Secondly, how are your current bandmates gonns look at it? Are they going to be thinking you're looking for an opportunity to jump ship?

It's fun to jam different styles, but if your heart isn't really in it do you really want to commit to a steady jam not knowing how long until they find a permanent member?

From everything you've said it sounds more like you are just looking for someone to agree with you that this isn't the right thing for you and validate what you're already feeling.

It's tough to say no to a friend, especially when they are in a jam, but if he's really a friend he'll understand this kind of music isn't your scene.

Secondly, how are your current bandmates gonns look at it? Are they going to be thinking you're looking for an opportunity to jump ship?

It's fun to jam different styles, but if your heart isn't really in it do you really want to commit to a steady jam not knowing how long until they find a permanent member?

No, I really just needed to kind of hash it out with myself. Sometimes I'm just not sure how I feel about something until I talk about it a little. I'm not agaist it totally, I just know that this isn't something I want to do for any extended amount of time. I've been too much of a nice guy sometimes, and instead of helping out I'm the one that ends up just doing it all myself, then getting burnt out. Getting it in the open here lets me draw from others experiences (if they choose to share), as well as just get it off my chest in general without having to hurt people's feelings. Basically, I'd just rather talk it out here because I know this is a safe place to talk about things like that without any kind of 'he said' 'she said' nonsense.

My current band mates know I wouldn't jump ship. Besides, the Mrs is one of them :) . And to top it all off it was one of my bandmates who suggested me for a short term replacement.

What I'm going to do is give them a couple of months to find a new guitarist. I haven't told them yes yet, but I have spoken to my friend who is the lead singer in the band, and he expects a month or so. I'll jam with them, and play the 2 gigs they have lined up (neither interfere with practice or gigs for the band I'm in now), I've never gigged the metal scene, so it might be fun. If nothing else, it'll be good for a laugh or two.

Arjen: The only reason they were looking for a replacement so quickly was because they have a New Year's Eve gig. Otherwise they would have waited to find someone.

I think you are looking into it too much. If the person is a friend and you can trust their word, then help'em out of a jam. I'm sure you can relate to wanting to keep your name out there and makin' money. Some people really rely on that extra cash.

i've been here alot. i play in my band.. they come first and foremost. then two other bands i cover when they're guitar player can't make it. I tell them though my band comes first. But I also tell my band that if I get a gig with the other guys well in advance like 3 or more weeks that I made that commitment to be there so dont' schedule gigs for that day. each group understands. usually my band always wins cuz i can find other guitar players for the other guys for them.

I would tell them no right now for this reason.

You are going to waste their time. It takes months for a band to learn enough songs to gig. If you spend a month with them and drop out, they will have to start over from scratch with a new guitar player. Let them find a guitar player that is going to stay with the band now. It may take them a month to find someone, but it will be the right person.

And while many players play in more than one band, it does have problems. What happens if both bands get an offer to play on the same date? Somebody is going to lose there.

So let them find their own guitar player.

I look at it from a different perspective. You have your band and another wants you to fill in for awhile. If you dug Slipknot and other heavy metal would you commit to X hours a week of practicing that stuff knowing you were just helping? You could be spending that time on your current band songs or personal songs. If you didn't dig Slipknot (as you don't seem to) why bother at all? Your time on music you don't care for.

If I were asked to join a Country band for decent money I wouldn't do it. I'm not a fan of that type of music and know I'd have to spend countless hours learning/memorizing/practicing/playing songs that would make me want to break my guitar in half.

It's just a decision you'll have to make on how you spend your "free" time.

I was asked to join a band a few months back to play bass - when I asked if I'd have any input, the lead guitarist/singer said no, none whatsoever - "I write the songs, I wrte the lead, the rhythm, the bass line, and tell the drummer what to do...." they were offering good money - VERY good money, and had gigs lined up - So I asked - on GN - pretty much the same question you asked, the general opinion was "NO"......

I want to play my own songs, I'm one of nature's rhythm guitarists, and though these guys are good musicians, A ) I wouldn't have been happy playing someone else's songs - my own ongs wouldn't have got a look in.....B ) like you, I'd have been playing in an alien genre.....and C ) I'd have had to do harmony vocals, and while I haven't got the greatest voice in the world, I can manage to sing when playing rhythm, but singng while playng bass s a totally different concept - like snging when playing lead......I just can't do it

maybe if he'd said, "well maybe we could fit a couple of your songs in, but we'd have to re-arrange them....." but he ddn't even bother to give them a listen.....arrogant, inflexible, knows everything - I could not have a working relationship with someone like that.....

So I turned it down.......at the tme he said, "we've been mates for twenty years or so, I respect you as a man and as a musician....." he hasn't spoken to me since......and I've heard the band has broken up with maximum acrimony since..... I'm not gloating or anythng, but anyone with that kind of dictatorial attitude - "I'm the man, do what I say...." in my opinion, he deserves to fall flat on hs donkey.....from a great height......

Playng in a band would be cool - but you've already got a band, don't let your mates down.....

As always, that's just MY opinion - but be guided by your head and your gut feeling......and I'm betting that gut feeling is saying "play the musc you like to play......."

Whatever you decde, I wish you luck......

:D :D :D

Vic

BTW, f you want to check out the thread I posted and the feedback I got, here it is.....

http://forums.guitarnoise.com/viewtopic.php?t=24751&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

:D :D :D

Vic

Well, I spoke with him again today and I'm going to do it, but only until their gig the week after the new year. After that gig they're on their own (and I told him that). I have a packet with the tabs for their music and some recordings from a couple of their previous shows. None of it looks or sounds incredibly difficult, but we'll see what I can do in a month and a week for the first gig.

Vic: You bring up a great point. I'd have done the same thing as you if they had acted like that when we first talked about it. However, the guy that 'runs the show' so to speak was excited to be bringing someone with a fresh perspective in. I'm not bringing in any of my music, but I have a say in how my part goes apparently.

Thanks to everyone for their input. I appreciate it a lot. :) :) :)