Playing at funerals

Not a clue. I wish you luck and hope it works out ok

A

Don't even try to keep your composure - if you break down when you're trying not to it'll be 10 times worse. Just play - let the music (and the Spirit) take you where the song's going. Tears are OK - so long as you're not sight-reading!

First off, I just want to say that I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

I can't think of any sure fire way to keep your composure but I would suggest that there is (maybe) another angle to look at this from.

I don't know the song that you will be playing but, given the situation you are playing in, I would guess that it is supposed to be evocative and provoke strong emotional feeling.

In my opinion these sorts of songs are always played best (or at least, always sound best) when they are played *with* emotion. Allow yourselves to become immersed in the feelings that the song brings out in you but allow those feelings to show through in the music that you play rather than letting them overwhelm you - your music will be the outlet for your emotions.

Remember also that music that you are playing, your performance, is as much a tribute to your lost uncle as it is a vehicle for mourning. Concentrate on the joy that his life brought those people that are present, and remember that your performace will be lending them some the strength that they need to carry on.

Finally, if you do lose composure don't worry. Nobody will think any less of you for it.

Thanks a bunch for the adivce guys.

I understand letting the emotion of the song come thru in the performance. I have just never been in this kind of situation. Im sure everything will be cool. I know the song pretty well and I will be keeping it very simple. Even if I flub it I can fake my way thru. :D

And for those not familiar with the song it is an old traditional which was most recently performed by Jack White on the Cold Mountain soundtrack. He did an incredible cover of the song. Once I heard his version it really raised my opinion of him as an artist.

Here are the lyrics...

Once I stood at the foot of a great high mountain
That I wanted so much to climb
And on top of this mountain was a beautiful fountain
That flows with the water of life

I'm still climbing upward and my journey's almost ended
I'm nearing the top and you ought to see the view
Oh the water flows freely, there's enough to make you free
So friend if you're thirsty climb this mountain with me

Im not a very religious person but this song is very moving.

Perhaps when you perform it you can tell everyone that they're more than welcome to join in with the singing if they want, assuming you can still be heard playing of course. Generally if you do this there will be people who will join in. That way if you feel you can't sing you can take a bit of a break but still play. Good luck, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Like the others said, you can let the emotion slip through if that's what it takes.

I like Stormy Monday's suggestion. Letting the others sing along make take a lot of pressure of you and your son.

Best of luck with it.

I hope it all goes well.

Who keeps their composure at a funeral? You really dont even need to ask this question. Just be yourself and let what happens, happen. Trust me, if you lose your composure, nobodies gonna say, "oh he lost his composure, what a bad person he is".

I performed once at a memorial service for a fellow student of mine. It was quite emotional. I played while my friend sang (we played Godsmack's Serenity, as she was a huge fan of godsmack, and it was agreed that Amazing Grace simply wouldnt fit her personality and she wouldnt want to hear it sung at her funeral). Everyone was crying. But, oddly enough, for us performing, the song became our emotion. It's almost like the song becomes your tears. No matter if you break down or not, it WILL be powerful. I couldn't count how many people told me our performance was the most powerful and personal part of the whole service. Let it happen. If you cry, you cry. But I've found that a musical outlet for grief is just as fulfilling as letting it out through your tears.

I have never played at a funeral but have sang

Tears flowed from eyes , my brother who played the guitar kept missing chord changes as we could not compose our selves at all .

Everyone knew how distraught we were but we just had to it ...

Toughest thing in the world I reckon

Don't try and preform just be your self , if yous start crying or even have tears , everyone will understand don't fight them ..

Big boys cry to

Sorry for your loss. :cry: I played and sang "Gathering Flowers for the Masters Bouquet" at my fathers funeral. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. My legs trembled through the whole song. But I got through it and so will you. Having the music in front of you is a good idea. It gives you a point of focus and keeps mistakes to a minimum. Prayer is a good idea.

Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother's sister just passed away in April, it was very sad. I can remember when she was a young pretty girl.

Everybody's correct. Be yourself. I think it would be difficult not to cry.

Sympathies for your loss.
If you are an experienced performer already an emotional song shouldn't be a problem.
From personal experience I have to play a song over and over again until the tears don't come anymore.
That is the 'break point' - the point reached where any close emotional attachment to the lyrics is overcome and you move on to the virtuosity point.
It's taken many months of playing 'Fields of Gold' or 'Tears in Heaven' to overcome my 'break point.'
I admire anyone who can play or sing at a funeral and not crack up because it is a very difficult skill to master.
I've been building a 'requiem' repertoire and it's an ongoing effort to hold back the emotions in order to get through the song.
I'm very sensitive to the venue I perform in and the acoustics, etc so might I suggest that if you can play the song in a rehearsal type mode at the location of the funeral service first it might alleviate some of the emotions raised.
Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the nice thoughts and suggestions.

Everything went as well as can be expected. Yes it was very emotional. I was on the verge of really losing it a couple of times but I just poured all that into the song. Before we played the song I told a funny story about me and my uncle to convey the type of person he was. That really helped with my nerves and put me in a pretty good place. What was cool was after it was over a couple of my more observant relatives told me that the song really fit the type of person my uncle was. So that was an unexpected bonus.

Thanks again everyone.