When is enough.. enough

I may sell off pieces here & there, but I generally try to hold onto my gear; I figure that it will keep me company & give me something to do when I retire! :D

Is there a music store or college (or church or grocery store or YMCA for that matter) near enough to you that will allow you to post something on a bulletin board seeking other musicians to play with? I think you're frustrated because you haven't found the outlet that you need to continue your progress. You're pretty much going to have to go and seek other musicians out because they don't know you're looking.

Years ago I had a little Vietnamese neighbor. We both happened to be single at the same time and she came over one day to see if I wanted to go out clubbing with her because, as she put it, "We got to go find the men because the men not going to come out here to find us!" Same thing applies to musicians. You've got to get out there yourself and let them know you're available. Get outside of your comfort zone. Be bold and daring! Take out an ad in the newspaper. Surely a city the size of Norman gets some sort of music "newspaper" that takes ads for "Musician Wanted". If there's a place to post any sort of ad for fellow musicians, get out there and post! I know they're out there, Geoo! Go find them!

:idea: Put an ad on Craig's List maybe you'll find someone to play with you :D

You want the answer? Never.

Come on Jim. We all know that feeling. I've had my periods of more than big frustration - never getting anywhere, never learning anything, never playing anything for anybody. I think the key for me is stop thinking that I play for anybody - man I play for myself, because it does me good, and I like it.

[the following is really a digression - and slightly OT. but then again, maybe not: I've had frankly, a (some)terrible year(s). Finally I'm am divorcing and things are looking better than for a long time, but that is not really the point.

Occationally I speak to a therapist, in order to attemt to clear up stuff. Last time he gave me a book chapter on something they call "coherens" - something to do with the interplay between heart and brain function - with some breathing exercises to help achieve the sate of coherens - basically a good relaxing state of mind. The author reported numerous studies being made with people trained to do these breathing exrecises regularly, with all kind of good effects - reduced risk of heart conditions and all kinds of stress related stuff. What I discovered is that I often enter that state of mind when I play things I know well. It doesent really matter if it is all by myself at night, when putting the kids to sleep, at a family gathering etc. It's theraphy!! I know it!! - OK enough 'bout me]

Jim, don't sell anything, or at least don't sell everything. Don't think of yourself as 1) a guitarplayer/musician, whatever, as one who is this and that good, learns at this rate, plays this often in public ... or 2) not a guitarplayer = one who doesn't play.

Take a break - don't stress it. Pick it up if you feel like. Play the things you like, learn some new songs if you feel like it. And finally - try to put away yours and others expectations. You are a guitarplayer - you don't necessarily play because you aim to be this good or something - you play because you want to, when you want to.

Does it make sense? Hey man - hang in there! :-) we're here for you!

best
lars

What the heck am I keeping it all for?

Jim

To enjoy again later.

Selling your gear because you're going through a personal or musical flat patch makes about as much sense as selling all your summer clothes because winter is coming. :?

Most of us just put our shorts, swimming costumes and summer shirts in the cupboard for a few months, knowing that the sun will shine again before too long. The sun will come out again for your music too - so don't sell the gear. :)

Cheers,

Chris

Thanks for all the great responses. I have tried Craigslist several times to no avail. The music shops here in Norman wont all you to post ads like that (silly isnt it). I feel alot better after reading the responses and I thank you guys for that. To me, that is the best thing about GN. That is why I have loved this site for so long (almost 3 years now). I appreciate you guys.

If I could just get decent at a particular style then there is this guy here in Norman that said I could play at his venue. That would be fun for a while. Atleast I would have a project then. Maybe I'll start over on "Blues you can use"

When I lived at the other house everything was musical. My whole house was set up around music. Then I had the band thing going for a while.... so I guess thats why I am so moppy now. Well, I have some thoughts on improving that. Think I'll go practice on some of those thoughts.

Heres to continuing on..

Jim

Jim! I think maybe you've got one or two other things going on in your life right now which may be more important than music :wink: but you will come back to it, because it's another of your loves. Keep the gear.

Or even better, upgrade!

If it's any consolation to you, I know the feeling and, in fact, stopped playing for close to 12 years. The guitar case was something that periodically got in the way. However over a year ago I was out for my lunch break walk and took a different route which passed by the local music store. Every year they have an annual event and get a boatload of guitar stands (well in terms of our small town it was a boatload....) for display which they sell off just to get rid of them. In their window, they had a sign for them with the message "guaranteed to make you play $10.00". It struck me funny and I walked about a half-a-block before turning around to go buy one. Bottom line: I haven't stopped playing since and even bought myself a Gibson J-45 and now am looking at a Tacoma Little Jumbo (that leftie 12 string in the Swap Forum is enticing too). Don't quit altogether, just take a break and see what happens. Make the decision with time to think about it first.

http://www.musicmates.com/Oklahoma-musician-referral-classifieds.php
http://bandmix.com/oklahoma/

I did a search and came up with the above links that may help you in your search for fellow musicians. Hope they might help! :D

Don't stop! If you do you'd be like 95% of those who picked it up and said "this is too hard." You've been playing awhile so that's not your case. Put the guitar down for a week. Then pick it up and play like it's your last day on Earth. You WILL feel the addiction.

Seriously, don't quit. Even if you just play at home the next few months, trust me, you will find a band or people to play with. Come back here a few months from now and say "Aw man, what was I thinking!" :D

What the heck am I keeping it all for?

If you can't answer - "because I love music and I love making music", then you probably do need at least a break.
That's the only goal I know of that makes all the effort worthwhile.

Now we don't all feel that love every single day. We may need a break, a little time away. But if, after some time and effort you still don't feel the love, then it is time to find something you do love.

Keep at least the instruments and accessories you like best, store them safely and take a break. Whether weeks or years, you will come back refreshed and ready to try it again with renewed vigor. A hiatus from anything can often help gain better perspective, as well as allow one time to pursue something else that will broaden experience. And one day the new experiences may even help make you a better musician and player when you do return.

Thanks again for the replies. Well, I am not getting rid of any of it. After writing all that out and reading the responses back it became clear to me that my problem is that I do not have a satisfactory outlet for expressing my music. So, I have a few options. I have begun looking for people that I can join or wanna join me. I have begun writing again. Mostly, I am just trying to take on a few projects so that I can enjoy it all again.

Let you know how it goes.

Jim