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your partner , how do they deal with you playing guitar

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(@azertyuiop201)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 46
Topic starter  

i'm fairly new to the guitar obsession , but I've been skateboarding for almost 10years and it can be compared to guitar as being something you love doing and spent days with.

When it's all sunny and bleu skies I can't help but rather go outside with friends having great time skateboarding , same with guitar .. I just love being home all afternoon on a raindy day playing guitar.

But yea , it's not easy in relationships having such obsessions(?). My girlfriend hates it when I pick up my guitar while all my intentions are just to show her of what I've learned or to ask if she recognize some stuff I play. She just looks away and doesn't even want to listen. All my other friends , they at least show interest or listen when I try or play some of the melodies of the songs they love , they support me ..while my girlfriend absolutely doesn't. She just want me to be in her arms all day , okay I do that and love that but there's something that drives me away at times : I want to do things , learn stuff , go skate on sunny beautifull skies , learn guitar , etc..

I guess we just expect different things in a relationship or want to live our lifes differently :?

anyway , maybe I typed too much .. back to the topic :

If you have a partner , how do they stand against it that you play guitar ? Do they support you or rather stay away from it , got any stories to tell about this subject?


   
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(@aaronj)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 32
 

My wife used to be sort of like that about the guitar, but I think it was because I tend to get into a ton of different hobbies then get disinterested after a short time. After almost a year of playing guitar though, she has become much more supportive about the whole thing. She even suggested I take lessons if I wanted (which is kind of a luxury thing for us).

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(@hawken)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 66
 

The girl I was dating when I first started playing the guitar used to be that way. I think she just didn't like the fact that I wasn't paying attention to her. She never really supported me in my hobby.

My current girlfriend is much more supportive. She tells me that she loves to listen to me play....she asks me to sing her songs; she lies on the couch and takes naps while I play my acoustic.

I think partners who don't support what is obviously a serious hobby are simply selfish. You have to give support and encourage the interests of your partner. If I was you I would ask her why she is never enthused to her you play anything.


   
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(@alangreen)
Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 5342
 

A tricky subject, sometimes.

My first fiancee enjoyed coming to my gigs, but wasn't all that bothered about rehearsals. She liked sitting beside the stage, taking photos, popping speed or smoking J's and drinking - rum and blackcurrant was her favourite tipple, as I recall. Anyway, I digress.

The 1st Mrs Green hated me playing guitar - something to do with that Jam with her brother when I blew him off stage.

I should have stayed with the barrister who bought me guitar CD's and surprised me with the sheet music I wanted. Instead...

the 2nd Mrs Green said she "adored" my playing, but got insanely jealous when the women at the theatre group we belonged to in Germany invited me to their little soirees and not her, and my friends would ignore her at parties. She tried to learn piano, couldn't get on with it, and dived into a beer glass where she stayed. One of the women from the theatre group is coming to England next month and we're meeting up for beer and curry. Anyway, I digress.

Kathy comes to all my performances, talks to my students when they can't make it or I have to work late, listens to most of my practice sessions, lugs kit (what a girl - don't find many like that), says it sounds good even when it sounds r-e-a-l-l-y bad, talks to her friends and mine about my playing, asked me to teach her son, and bought me a mandolin for my birthday. She also took me to see the Bootleg Beatles, and came with me to see Rush last year. Nuff said, really.

Best,

A :-)

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
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(@floydthegolfer)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 55
 

Hey man,

How old are you and your girlfriend? if u dont mind me asking....

if you are both relatively young, just hope she grows up a bit i guess- tho these other replies lead me to think that this problem may not go!!
I'm lucky in that my girlfriend is a keen musician too, shes 20, and was a grade 7 pianist 2 yrs ago before uni and college got in the way. funnily enough, coming from that background, she actually tells me off if i dont practice enough, or get lazy with my routines.... and shes always impressed, even wen i botch up a simple run.

Basically, I think you have to hope that she stops being jealous of the guitar- learn some nice serenading music! could have benefits....

Good luck bud,

Rob

"You got the heart kid... but you don't got the tools no more....."
"DRAGOOO!!!!!!!!"


   
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(@bob-squires)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 200
 

I'm fortunate that my partner is and has been extremely supportive of all my interests (and there are many) including guitar :)

We figure I could be wasting money in a bar or playing video games all day (and I mean not doing anything else) :twisted:

BS


   
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(@kingpatzer)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2171
 

For lessons and paying gigs, she's very supportative. For sitting around all day plinking at strings instead of cleaning the gutters she has no patience at all.

*shrug*

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." -- HST


   
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 geoo
(@geoo)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2801
 

I am very lucky in this area. My GF is very supportive of me playing and practicing. She actualy made a comment this weekend that she misses me playing, cause we have both been so busy that she hasnt been around at the times I play.

I think its more of a maturity factor than an age factor. Sometimes the two go hand in hand but I have seen some pretty old gals act pretty childish and vice vera.

For me, its pretty important that my GF be supportive. I am getting to the age that if she wasn't.. I would put up with it. But not suggesting that for everone, of course.

Jim

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


   
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(@david_mohn)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 79
 

I remember one fight my ex wife and I got into about the guitar.

When I got home from work, I found two guitars that no longer had headstocks, and several pieces of a third on the sidewalk two stories below our balcony.

Funny thing is, she is a musician to. She was just insanely jealous of the guitar.


   
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(@twistedlefty)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 4113
 

I remember one fight my ex wife and I got into about the guitar.

When I got home from work, I found two guitars that no longer had headstocks, and several pieces of a third on the sidewalk two stories below our balcony.

Funny thing is, she is a musician to. She was just insanely jealous of the guitar.

/me hurries to find insurance :shock:

#4491....


   
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(@ignar-hillstrom)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 5349
 

I'm a bit of a simpleton when it comes to this: If she doesn't give a crap about things that I'm interested in, and I don't care what she is doing, then what is the point of having a relationship in the first place? What you like, what you do and what you think is pretty much what defines you. So if someone doesn't like what I like, do and think it leaves me with only one conclusion: that person is not really going to be a friend anytime soon...


   
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(@azertyuiop201)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 46
Topic starter  

yep we're fairly young, I'm 21 and she's 18 ..

Seem some of you have found a great partner and some have been in the same boat as me.

thanks for the replies , she has a great voice so I'm trying to involve her a bit that she can sing to songs.


   
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 Nils
(@nils)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2849
 

My first wife was not supportive at all.. As matter of fact she was not supportive of anything I did but that's another story. She even got jealous/annoyed when I was teaching her mother to play. Seems I got along better with her mother LoL.

Anyway, my current wife is very supportive, within reason. She actually surprised me with a new acoustic last year and it was not even a birthday or a holiday or anything. It's a running joke now because when she got it for me she had it in the back of her car when we met at Ruby Tuesday's for dinner one night so now every time we meet there for dinner after work I always look in the back of her car for another. I told her to start thinking "Fender Strat" :idea:

However, everything is within reason. She has no problem with me practicing or going off to play or for that matter buying stuff. But, if she wants to do something else like shopping or working outside "all bets are off". I have to respect that since I am a little fanatical about the guitar at times.

Nils' Page - Guitar Information and other Stuff
DMusic Samples


   
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(@danlasley)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2118
 

It's difficult to anticipate which couples will work in the long run, and which won't. However, musical interests, like religion and pets, are pretty important to work through. Expecially as music involves a good amount of your "together time".

Try to talk it through sooner than later...

-Laz


   
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(@tim_madsen)
Prominent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 724
 

My wife has been supportive of all my endeavors for goin' on 29 years. She's been real pleased with my interest in the guitar. Now she sings harmony in our gospel group and plays the tambourine. She loves for me to play and sing for her. I've also been supportive of the things she has interest in, that's what makes a relationship work (mutual respect and support). It's also great if you have common interests imo.

Tim Madsen
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.

"What you keep to yourself you lose, what you give away you keep forever." -Axel Munthe


   
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