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It Hurts Me Too - Take 2- Please comment - Better? (updated)

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MrJonesey
(@mrjonesey)
Posts: 470
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks for all of the great comments and advice. I decided to give it another try, this time without forcing it too much (Great advice on the just talking it bit, Gerry. It was too late for this take, but I will definitely keep it in mind and try it whenever I get stuck). I still don't think I'm a vocalist by any means, but please let me know if this is more of the right direction. It's actually titled Take Three 3 (you don't get to hear Take Two 2).

Anyway, any feedback would be greatly and deeply appreciated. I respect what many of you have posted on this forum and really value your opinions.

Thanks,

Jim

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=638569

OK, here's the story. I am not a singer and never will be. But my band has decided to add this song to our list and they want each memeber to pick a verse to sing. I have refused to participate in the interest of allowing the band to sound it's absolute best. They're telling me to lighten up, have some fun and just go for it. So, I decided to record the entire song to decide which part I might not sound completely terrible at. I'm not real happy with it, so I really won't hurt my feelings if you tell me to leave the singing to the singers.

Anyway, my original attempt was too melodic, according to my wife. It's an original Elmore James tune and my wife thought I needed to add more growl and less melody. Anyway, here's my best shot so far. Should I just give up, or should I pick one of the verses and make a singing debut?

Opinions and comments are welcome.

Thanks,

Jim

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=638569

"There won't be any money. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conciousness. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice." - Bill Murray, Caddyshack ~~ Michigan Music Dojo - http://michiganmusicdojo.com ~~

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 7:26 am
dogbite
(@dogbite)
Posts: 6348
Illustrious Member
 

it hurts me too :lol:

stick to a tamborine....sorry.
your singing is not great, but there is a quality in it I don't mind.
relax the throat a bit or tighten it a lot more and you'll have it; a vocal with character.
you have a bit of attitude in your voice that works.push it further.
maybe get close to the mike and 'sing' softer but with the same attitude.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=644552
http://www.soundclick.com/couleerockinvaders

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 11:48 am
BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Posts: 2957
Famed Member
 

Hey Jim

If you play like that who gives a toss about singing ..

I sound sh1t singing but that aint going to stop me though ...

I posted a few video clips on singing in the singing forum board called free singing lessons that I found on the net if your interested ..

But I did not mind your singing at all actually ...

Your voice is unique , just like the guitar paractice do the exercises ..

I am now giving singing tips .. :oops: :oops: :oops:

Isn't that a joke :wink:

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 1:10 pm
Vic Lewis VL
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Posts: 10264
Illustrious Member
 

Doesn't sound too bad to me - just sounds as if you need more practise. Phrasing's pretty much OK for the most part, it sounds, though, as if you're trying to imitate another singer rather than find your own voice. There are a few notes you seemed to struggle to reach - try something different on those. There's always an alternative note!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 1:29 pm
tree
 tree
(@tree)
Posts: 55
Trusted Member
 

Definitely some potential there I think.

You were off pitch for portions of it, but that can be fixed through some more practice of course. In particular watch the starting and ending pitch of each phrase. There are times when you start on the wrong pitch and then settle towards the correct pitch. Also sometimes when trying to stress the last word of the phrase you went off pitch a little. Like I and others have said, practice will get you through this. Even as the song went on you improved some.
One thing also to watch is the color that you put on the end of each phrase. Sometimes it works out well, but other-times not-so-much.

The section form 1:30 to 1:42 is really good exempt for the way you inflected "man" at the very end. I think you have the ability to do really well on this song, but its going to take a bit more practice. Doing recordings of yourself singing the song (or trouble phrases in the song) and attempting to improve each recording is a great way to do it.

so many places that are hard to see
so many places that aren't
so many places we want to be
so many times we are not

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 2:42 pm
Dneck
(@dneck)
Posts: 630
Prominent Member
 

I disagree with your wife that you should try to sing the song a certain way, exactly like the singer who originally played it. Unless you and him just have the exact same register, you need to sing the song the way that you can sing it the best.

The singing sounds forced and unatural. Your not really using your vocal chords. Take any word like play for instance and just say the word but stop on the vowel and hold it like "helloooooooooooo" that is the way it should feel in your throat when you sing.

Singers focus on the way it FEELS to sing not on the way their voice sounds. You have a lot of work singing scales and making your chords stronger before you should think about mimicing another singer. For now focus on making your voice sound the best it can, maybe it will be an octave lower or higher, or in a different key.

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 4:49 pm
MrJonesey
(@mrjonesey)
Posts: 470
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks for the feedback. It was very difficult for me to post it. I kept flirting with the edit button, but finally decided I wanted some honest feedback.

Singing, or shouting, like that was very unnatural for me. It felt very forced. I'm willing to spend some time working on it if it truly isn't a waste of time. I need to find a way to sing it without thinking so much about my vocal "gravel" quality. I think that (and the fact that I never have really been much of a singer) lend to my some of my pitch problems.
relax the throat a bit or tighten it a lot more and you'll have it; a vocal with character.
you have a bit of attitude in your voice that works.push it further.
maybe get close to the mike and 'sing' softer but with the same attitude.

Dogbite, I'll give that a shot. Hopefully the next posting (if there is another) won't be so painful. :wink:

Vic, I definitely need a lot more practice. But thanks for the comments. You're right, it even felt forced for the most part. A couple of time it was more natural. But for the most part, it was a real struggle to keep up.

Barnabus, Thanks for the compliment on my playing. :D You're singing actually isn't bad at all. If I could sing that well, I would never shut up. I would probably flood this board with songs that I have been to self-concious to post. I still can't believe that I left this one up.

Tree, I really appreciate the specific examples. I will work on the pitch problems, especially at the beginning and end of phrases. Thanks for the note on section 1:30 to 1:42. I'll listen to that section and see if I can figure out what worked. I'll also keep recording and seeing if I improve. If it gets better, I'll definitely post an update for comparison.

Dneck, I tend to agree. Not being a singer, I really wasn't sure if it was just a technique I had to practice toget better at (the forced bit, I mean). I just couldn't imagine having to force my voice so much. It really felt more like shouting than singing. I think I'll try to relax more and see what comes out.

Thanks again for the comments.

Jim

"There won't be any money. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conciousness. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice." - Bill Murray, Caddyshack ~~ Michigan Music Dojo - http://michiganmusicdojo.com ~~

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 5:37 pm
Gerry
(@gerry)
Posts: 441
Honorable Member
 

Well first Jim congrats and you get 10 out of 10 from me for standing in front of Mic and posting it up. Taking on board all the other comments I think you just need to relax. Easier said then done :roll: I need a few drinks before I'll even clear my throat.

I like it my friend and keep at it and if you get stuck on a register talk it, its blues.

Gerry

Those who can't dance always blame the band.

http://www.gerrycooper.com/

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 5:45 pm
Dneck
(@dneck)
Posts: 630
Prominent Member
 

SO much better!

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile

 
Posted : 11/07/2007 9:06 pm
dogbite
(@dogbite)
Posts: 6348
Illustrious Member
 

ya know I remarked about the singing without mentioning the nice guitar playing.
my bad. :oops:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=644552
http://www.soundclick.com/couleerockinvaders

 
Posted : 12/07/2007 1:26 am
boxboy
(@boxboy)
Posts: 1221
Noble Member
 

Geez, Jim, don't know if it was a bunch of time or quality time put in...but now you're really singing!
You got some great solid advice in the first go round and this is light years better. 8)
Nice going.
:)

Don

 
Posted : 12/07/2007 2:18 am
Taso
 Taso
(@taso)
Posts: 2811
Famed Member
 

I listened to the first one, didn't have a chance to comment on it.

Take 3 is MUCH, MUCH, better. Sounding pretty darn good, and just fine for a band having a good time with everyone taking turns singing. You should feel confident with this one.

http://taso.dmusic.com/music/

 
Posted : 12/07/2007 2:43 am
MrJonesey
(@mrjonesey)
Posts: 470
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

Dogbite - thanks for the sentiment on my playing. The music tracks were just one take so I could have a background to practice my singing with. Actually the rhythm was the backing I'm singing to. I added the lead afterwards. Anyway, it's OK that you didn't comment on my playing as I wasn't trying to do anything special with it. I know the timing isn't perfect and the lead i a bit off beat now and then. But, then again, it is the blues so it's probably alright.

Dneck - thanks.

boxboy - I think it was quantity and quality of practice time. I know it has a long way to go, but hopefully I'm on the right track.

Taso - thanks for the comments. Me and the other guitar player got together tonight and I committed to trying two verses at the next full practice. If I'm not happy with how it sounds by then, then I will step down. So, I have about two weeks to get ready, as half the band is no vacation all next week.

I appreciate all of th comments. It really does help to get straight advice from people who have a passion about singing. My wife really doesn't like take 3 because she said that I'm raising my voice higher than my natural voice and that I'm trying to force too much melody for this song. I thing she is basically saying that I'm acting like I can sing, when I really can't so it sounds forced and fake. But the first one actually was giving me a head ache right at the base of my head, a sore throat and I had a hard time singing it without coughing constantly. Maybe theres some ground in between the two. I'll just keep practicing and recording myself and hopefully I'll get somewhere close to decent (or presentable). I think it would be a blast to jsut sing that little bit.

A bit of boring history about me. When I was just a very small child, I really thought I could sing. In fact I used to sing at the top of my voice during my walk to school hoping to get discovered by some talent scout (I was sure there had to be one living in my modest neighborhood in Flint, Michigan (remember Roger and Me?)). So, one day my music teacher has each student stand in front of the class and sing Tomorrow (Little Orphan Annie) into a tape player. Well, being that I was surely the best singer in the class, if not the entire school, I really belted it out at the top of my voice (see Exhibit one above).

When the teacher played the tape back, I couldn't wait to get past all of the shy and mediocre singers so I could hear my recording. Then it came ..... My heart dropped and I was completely devastated. I couldn't believe that was how I actually sounded. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't my parents at least tell me? They actually encouraged me! I literally could not keep the tears from falling down my face.

I have not attempted to sing publicly again until now. Even during Happy Birthday I try to keep it below the erst of the group so I don't mess up the song. During campfire songs, I won't sing by myself and even then I am real quiet. I will never forget the trauma I felt to reallize that I was an awful singer. In my heart, I still secretly wish to be a good singer. That is how difficult it was for me to post these samples.

Barnibus- I'll check the singing forum to see if I can find the links to the singing video lessons you referenced earlier.

Sorry for the boring story. I jsut had to vent.

Thanks for all the help.

Jim

"There won't be any money. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conciousness. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice." - Bill Murray, Caddyshack ~~ Michigan Music Dojo - http://michiganmusicdojo.com ~~

 
Posted : 12/07/2007 5:27 am
BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Posts: 2957
Famed Member
 

http://www.expertvillage.com/videos/voice-lessons-practice-techniques.htm

thats the link I was talking about matee

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am

 
Posted : 12/07/2007 6:02 am
Bish
 Bish
(@bish)
Posts: 3636
Famed Member
 

Since I'm about 400 songs behind on listening to all the new posts in Hear Here that I just skipped to take 5. :D

Not hearing any of the other takes, here's mine.

You playing is great, nothing to worry about there.

What I'm not hearing in your vocals is you making an effort. It sounds like you've already given up on a valid "on stage" performance and are just going through the motion. Try another run and this time, only focus on the rhythm and phrasings. Use more melody than you have previously and try to put more emotion into it.

You are so close!! :D

Bish

"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"

 
Posted : 27/07/2007 5:35 pm
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